a challenge (11)

1 Name: nerd alert : 2009-12-07 11:22 ID:7qbox1tA

Okay. as of late, I started to have a crush on one of my classmates. we've been in the same class for about a year already.
We frequently talk, but all school-related stuff.

my problem is, she only sees me as the responsible/smart-guy-in-the-class. also, we really have varying interests, with her into theater, and me into comics and art.

how do I get us to talk about some stuff other than school? I really like this girl, and I want to let her get to know the non-geek me.

help please?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-07 14:17 ID:Heaven

Just mention something, gosh.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-08 10:20 ID:AiS7r7dA

>>1

Sounds like you need to get to know her better. What's she like? I'm sure she has more interests than just theater. What does she enjoy doing? Perhaps you could do an activity with her together.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-09 13:42 ID:39e9U4x3

Talk about sex. It's a topic that interests just about anyone, and if she reacts poorly to it then she has a bad relationship with it or isn't mature enough for it, and you won't be getting much from her so you can move on. You don't need to go into gory details but mentioning light things (I hear so and so slept with so and so) can start it up. Believe it or not, girls are interested and like to talk about sex.

Talking about sex also reminds her that you are indeed a MAN with fully functional cock and balls. Do you know why girls say "I couldn't imagine being in a relationship/having sex with him?" Because they haven't imagined you as a man with masculine characteristics and an appetite for sex.

But the way you bring it up has to be smooth and natural. People have a way or mirroring the emotions of someone who says something. If you bring up sex in a nervous, awkward way, she'll assume that's how you'll be when it comes to it and that door will shut forever. So be sure you're comfortable with what you say.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-09 16:40 ID:bU/L7S8J

Do not do what >>4 said, that is a sure fire way to a sexual harassment suit. In stead do what 2&3 have said, small talk it is the key every thing.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-09 18:39 ID:Heaven

>>5
You probably live in a sad, sad country.

There is nothing wrong with talking about sex, unless you're excessively creepy about it.

But yeah, obviously start to small talk before you start talking about sex.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-10 08:51 ID:DLKIVKaM

>>5

Buddy, how do you think your mom and pop made you? Do you think one day he tripped while taking his pants off and fell on your mom who was lying down to do some leg lift exercises in the nude?

There's a lot of complex things in courtships, but usually, you have to talk a little bit about sex before it happens. In fact, hinting at it, bringing it up, being playful yet mature about it will make it more likely to happen.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-10 14:22 ID:Y6ie2LHb

>>4

Good advice in moderation. You don't want to come off as though you have a one track mind either, only talking about sex is as bad as never talking about it.

>if she reacts poorly to it then she has a bad relationship with it or isn't mature enough for it and you won't be getting much from her so you can move on.

Bullshit, just 'cause someone considers sex a more private matter does not make them immature, prudish or damaged. It may be true sometimes but I'd say a more common reason for reacting badly to talking about sex with a guy is finding the person highly unappealing.

>>5 is kind of right though what is flirting to some is sexual harassment to others, so gauge her reaction carefully before you lay it on heavy.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-10 18:14 ID:D8RK25FX

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-13 07:13 ID:FggrQ9ip

>>6, >>7
I don't know what part of ghetto you come from, but over here, very rarely do our conversations with strangers lead from talking about the weather, to- sex. Unless you're looking for a hoe.

Obviously there's nothing wrong with talking about it, but OP's probably just in middle school for crying out loud. He's into comics and art. How do you expect him to be experienced enough dance around the topic when he's probably never gotten to that stage yet? Can you imagine, "So...uh...do you like sex?"

As general advice though, unless you want a fling, then I wouldn't use sex as a topic to help break the ice.

11 Name: nerd alert : 2009-12-19 02:53 ID:7qbox1tA

hey, thanks for the replies people.

thing is, where I come from, talking about sex is bordering on creepy/sexual harassment.

and fyi, I'm in college.

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