Hello there.
I would like to start by saying that right now in my life, I do not want a girlfriend. They cost time, money, and exert anxiety. In my eyes, from what I've seen and experienced. I am a virgin. Just finished my second semester in college. Now I begin.
The only girl that has truely been in a romantic relationship with me was my girlfriend senoir year. I went to an all-boys Catholic school outside of Boston, and she went to an all-girls school two towns over. We met at Catholic Youth Group.
The relationship was pretty pleasant, and I felt like I got all the benefits with the spending of time and money. She broke up with me within weeks after graduation. She found out that I used to smoke pot before I dated her. That was the reason.
Obviously, I smoke pot again. Took it up right after she dumped me. Also lost faith in God, which I knew I had at one time in my life.
The first day at college, I hooked up with a girl I had met at orientation. I slept in her bed on the VERY first night of college. I haven't talked to her since (~1.4 yrs). She was in love with me, and I didn't know what to do. Afraid? Probably.
Then there was Rose (that's not her name, it has been changed to protect the innocent). I met her one day this past February (oh god 2009 is over) and she was tripping on shrooms with her roommate.
I was infatuated with Rose. She knew that. I told her friends (including her roommate) that I was into her. They called it cute and we laughed it off, and no serious action was taken. Rose continued to lead me on and spend time with me (smoke some cigarettes, discuss life) all the while she was seeing somebody behind my back. This was during the previous spring semester. It was the first time I cried since my girlfriend broke up with me a year ago since then.
Spring semester ended, and I stopped talking to Rose for the summer. 4 months, one week, three days.
One day at work, she sent me a text message. My stomach sank.
Wed, Aug 19th (12:58 AM):
"Hows your summer going? I dunno if youre awake or if you even want to talk to me, but i miss your thoughts, so i thought id inquire."
I forced out a laugh, threw my phone back on my desk, and ignored it.