I have two friends who are dating each other, and I guess I could say I am (or was) pretty close to the both of them. It came to my attention a few months ago that the two had SERIOUS trust and communication issues, meaning they wouldn't talk to each other directly about their relationship problems (preferring to whine at a neutral or not-so-neutral third party) or getting overly suspicious about their partner's encounters with those of the opposite sex.
How does this involve me? Well like I've said, I'm pretty close friends with the two of them, and it just happens that the guy in the relationship (I'm a girl) happens to see me as a really close friend. As you might guess, his girlfriend isn't too happy about this at times.
At first, I could see her reasoning behind her insecurity - I DID feel like he was probably becoming a bit too comfortable with me at times, and in order to address this, I simply slowly stopped talking to him. Well, I've been doing this for a few months, but to no avail. She simply comes to me every now and then saying how she will never be good enough for her boyfriend and how it's all somehow because he supposedly likes me better. (I don't know how many times we've stressed that this was not the case)
Recently, I finally told her I that I was through with her baseless assumptions and accusations. I know being jealous is normal in a relationship, but I don't think it's fair to make a scapegoat out of me from it, especially as I have been doing my best to keep out of their relationship. I don't exist to be told it's my fault that their relationship is falling apart and being told to shut up. Very recently, I've tried talking it through with her boyfriend too, but he's told me that he's tried all he can to keep me out of his life too. It just seems like she won't be satisfied unless he somehow totally forgets about me.
Suggestions, comments?
There is nothing you can do. I deal with a few people in my life, regularly, who are like this; they follow the same MO this chick does but about different things (anything really). I just know I can't win, but if I surrender it won't do me any good either. So I just say fuck it, and refuse to play their game.
When they try to bait you into playing just let them know you acknowledge their feelings, but don't give them any merit... since, after all, they don't have any anyway since you aren't doing anything wrong.
(also, don't be negative about it either, that will, of course, make it all worse).