some guy likes my girlfriend (9)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-15 11:40 ID:QXkH/P8e

Alright, so my girlfriend lives in a house with a bunch of other people, and lately she's been hanging out often with some guy who lives there, mostly watching movies together, sometimes with other people from the house present. About two weeks ago some of those people were implying they should hook up, so my girlfriend told these people that she already has a boyfriend. She also asked the guy if he had a crush on her, which he denied. But two days ago, they had some beers and he told her he did like her (and claimed he didn't feel for her that way when she asked before), and also attempted to kiss her once. I can only trust my girlfriend that that's all there is to it (although she does know I would break up with her had she kissed back).

Anyway, my girlfriend told me she will reduce the time she spends with him, but also that she doesn't intend to break off all contact or something, because they live in the same house and she does like him as a friend. She told me she trusts him when he said (yesterday) that he understood nothing would come from it and that he would move on.
If he had just told her he liked her, I would have been inclined to believe that, but the fact that he would try to kiss her (even though he knew she has a boyfriend) bothers me. Alcohol probably had something to do with it, but still, that's a line he shouldn't have crossed and makes me very distrustful of whatever he claims.

I'm not really sure what I should do. Truthfully, I'd like to go over there and beat the shit out of him, but that's not really an option. I have his email so I could write him, but I'm not really sure if that will accomplish anything. I could just do nothing and trust my girlfriend, but I think she might be too naïve and trusting. Any advice?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-15 12:45 ID:dhWN2veZ

I think you should just assume your girlfriend knows how to handle herself. She should be able to feel comfortable disclosing stuff like this to you without you taking the issue into your own hands. As it stands it's her problem and her's alone to deal with unless she actually asks you to get involved, emailing or otherwise speaking with the guy would be counter-productive.

Have you met this guy? I don't think it would be bad to ask to meet him and the other housemates, assuming you would be friendly and make a good impression. It's harder for someone to betray a person than it is to betray a question mark if you get what I mean.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-16 10:11 ID:nlCiQCYW

> the fact that he would try to kiss her (even though he knew she has a boyfriend)

Two things:

  1. He's a player.

or

2. Your girlfriend gave him some reason to believe that she would accept his kiss.

I reckon you should visit your girlfriend at her house a little more. Subtle, just to make him aware of your presence. But don't try to start anything, otherwise your girlfriend might feel too awkward and annoyed.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-16 12:04 ID:QXkH/P8e

Well, I ended up doing nothing, I suppose I was a bit emotional when I posted this thread and doing nothing just made me feel powerless, even though I knew it was the best option.

>>3 It's probably 2, my girlfriend tends to look people straight in the eye, smile a lot and is quickly comfortable around people, sitting close to them etc. I think people often confuse it for flirting.

5 Name: Addicted : 2010-02-16 13:35 ID:FmZImNZT

I think that your girl should end her relationship with guy he's just pretanding one day he'll do to her something u'll not like .... But i 'am afraid that ur girl friend will not beleive u , she will think that u're over jealous ^^ ....

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-16 16:46 ID:9ue+fwDp

Getting all jealous and clingy isn't the way to go. You want to appear to be stronger of the two males.

7 Name: Anon : 2010-02-26 17:28 ID:9Ngx6ujr

She obviously respects you enough to let you know what's going on and to be honest with you. In return, you need to trust her back and give her some room to breath. If anything happens, just remember: she's in a relationship with you, not anyone else. Of course, if he tries to force himself on her, that's different story; you need to kick his ass, gf's friend or no.

Other than that, you should be flattered. Don't worry too much about it, I know from personal experience your insecurities can drive you to some real bad mental images and often times make you feel like crap. Just try to keep the big picture in mind, and most of all, respect her personal opinions and decisions. Good luck to you both!

8 Name: her other boyfriend : 2010-06-25 08:55 ID:6Fpi1Jxu

The abusive "kicking each other's ass" is NOT Romantic, unless you're a cave-man or cave-woman. Re-Read >>6

Your girlfreind LIVES there. Anything can happen in that house, and you will NEVER know about it!

Perhaps a two-bedroom apartment - for just the two of you - is the security that your insecure mind NEEDS!

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-06-25 12:24 ID:Heaven

huh? you still need advice when it so perfect?

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