Hopeless of finding love (9)

1 Name: Maelle : 2010-03-04 08:27 ID:kKTJ+Tc2

I'm 21 (well 20 at the moment but I'll be turning 21 this year) and sad to say, I never had a boyfriend before. I've been asked out twice in my life time and both have been rejected (the first one doesn't really count because that was back in Grade 7. The Second one was a friend of mine. I didn't really seem him anything more than a friend). I've been hit on quite a few times-- those guys were either too young or had girlfriends.

Honestly, I don't think I'm ugly at all. I'm slightly chubby (size 3 in jeans) but I'm healthy. I'm quite outgoing and I'm just a bit shy when I meet people for the first time. However, I do start getting talkative when I get to know them more. When my friends and I hit the clubs, I usually just stick with them the whole night.

I guess this subject of finding what love is didn't really hit me until last year when all my best friends suddenly had boyfriends and I was the only one who didn't. I feel like I'm being left behind like I'm missing something I should be experiencing. I do want to find out what it is like to fall in love with someone but I feel like I won't find him at all. After watching some shows that had 30+ year old women who is looking for love, I feel like maybe I'll turn like them too and it scares me. I know probably it is my fault for having quite a high expectation but I still don't want to go out with just anyone. There was a guy that I "like" from high school (still kind of think of him now and then too) but the only problem is that I haven't seen him for nearly 3 years (he graduated a year before me) and that he doesn't really know I exist.

I'm starting to feel that maybe it's me that scare guys away. I want to find that special person but I just don't know what I should do really. I don't want to be single anymore but I don't want to just hook up with random guys. I don't really know what to do. There are times when I do feel like maybe I'm not suppose to find love or that there is no special person out there. I feel like maybe I should just give up and become a nun instead.

Any advices?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-05 04:31 ID:ruLXLDY3

I think you should let love find you. And it will, don't worry. Just continue to have fun, try and get outside and meet new people, and you'll find somebody you like. Love isn't always an instant thing - falling in love is something that happens over time, with a person you like/are attracted to.

Also, if you put love onto a mighty pedestal and expect it to be like it is in the movies, it'll only make things harder. Everyone has their own definition of love - it isn't universal. You'll know when you've found your own love, just let it come naturally and try not too think too hard about getting the "perfect" or "special" man; feelings aren't always rational, they don't require the man of your dreams to make your heart beat fast.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-05 18:26 ID:V+cPero0

Yeah, I totally get what you are feeling. I am also 20 going onto 21. It just seems like recently, but i don't even have single friends anymore... All of my good friends are all dating and it feels pretty uncomfortable to go out with them anymore.
But like post 2 says... just wait it out sooner or later right?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-10 18:17 ID:7feV3xWr

OP, you're right about one thing: there is no special person out there. Best you can hope for is to find someone you can tolerate, and who can tolerate you. Mind you, I don't mean to make it sound like that's easy; most people don't even find that much.

The truth is, most people out there are unhappy, regardless of whether or not they're in relationships. Don't make the mistake of buying into Hollywood's promise that "true love" will make everything better.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-12 11:52 ID:McBveIVy

I think it's important to note that the feeling most people call love (like butterflies in your stomach) is just a chemical reaction in the first months of any relationship. It's a nice extra, but not the whole foundation a relationship is built upon. I've known quite a lot of girls who thought something was wrong when that feeling faded away after some time and therefore broke up with their boyfriends and even went as far as thinking they are unable to have a long-term relationship.

I am telling you this because you had no boyfriend yet and i don't like the idea of someone's first relationship ending because of such an issue.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-14 04:40 ID:Heaven

>chubby (size 3

You're fine the way you are, believe me.

7 Name: Azrael : 2010-03-20 15:46 ID:8SNCoS1l

Love wouldn't care if you're size 3 or more you know. :D

8 Name: Wuha : 2010-03-22 18:03 ID:BBtDkI8P

Don't keep pressured by your friends and their boyfriends. Dont force anyone as your "love" onto you. Everyone find love one day. Fate is giving u the cards and u play them, even if there not as good as you want them to be. :P I had a really loved girl for a year, but live's strange thing and we parted. Now I'm alone for over 3 years and don't mind. btw I'm also 21 :D

When you realise that love comes to you, you won't really think abour ur looks or jeans size :P

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-25 00:42 ID:C5hUaASM

If your friends have boyfriends, I'm pretty sure these guys must have some single friends of their own. Why don't you ask for some recommendations?

I believe that, while the "let love find you" belief works out sometimes, it shouldn't stop people from searching for what they want.

Just one thing, take it easy. Don't get stuck to just any piece of scrap who's willing to it just for the sake of being with somebody.

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