Alright /love , I need some advice. About a year ago I started seeing a woman who I met through some friends and after a couple of months we started dating. Things have been going great with her and after the hell of my last relationship she’s been a total angel, taking me from the sad drunkard I was and really made my life better.
Right now she’s in the process of switching majors and universities, and while she’s waiting for classes to start she’s living with her uncle. The problem is that her family hates me because I’m not Jewish and I’m not a doctor or a lawyer. Anyways, tonight I went over to see her and we had a very uncomfortable talk about ‘the rest of our lives’. By dating me she’s defying the wishes of her family, and for the next few months I won’t be able to see her because she’s staying with him.
This situation has reignited some previous complications we’ve had. Right now, she’s seriously considering breaking up because she says she can’t turn her back on her family, because she’d lose them, and from what I’ve seen of her family so far, they would disown her without question. But at the same time she wants to be with me. I’m between a rock and a hard place; I can’t give this woman up, and if I do leave her, I’ll never forgive myself for it, but she can’t leave her family and if I ask her to she wouldn’t. So guys and gals, any radical ideas? I could definitely use some help.
Well if you don't feel much attachment to your own religion you could consider converting. Also if this girl is that important to you, you should be able to handle that at the very least right? Religion and relationships are one thing, having to deal with the family isway out there haha. Good luck.
Thanks Otakun, I could look into converting to being Jewish, but I don't know if they'd accept that or not but it's a great idea. I've got the stamina to stay with this, but I don't know if she can stand the harassment from her family though.
Thanks :)
So I figure I should come back and give an update, the Jewish conversion idea is apparently a no go, as I'm not 'pure blood Jew' (their exact words) they still won't accept me. She's moving out tonight, and that means sporadic at best contact with her over the next 6+ months. I'm still at a loss for ideas to get this working, but I guess this is something that I'll just have to deal with for now.
Also I had some people suggest the following: that I should just expose my self in front of her parents and tell them to prove that I'm not Jewish (since I'm cut this would work and be super funny!)
Dude, "pure-blood" Jewish are REALLY easy to notice. I don't know about your ethnicity, but as for me, even though I'm caucasian, I couldn't disguise myself as Jewish.
And that's quite the dumb approach anyway, honestly. You see, for a relationship to work adequately, you both gotta be willing to make your concessions. You're willing to do yours, but it seems she really isn't so much into hers. I know it's difficult and all, but they're placing an obstacle in her life and she's like "Omg, I nothing I can do"? This isn't too fair for you. You both need to have a GOOD talk.
As I was reading this I kept on getting more and more confused- until I saw that she was Jewish.
You will never be accepted by her family, ever. If she doesn't want to leave now, most likely she won't in the future.
Give it up. She doesn't love you as much as you think she does. Why is she so important to you anyway?
well religion issues between relationships is a somewhat an issue that needs to be discussed between the two parties involved and in your case it is better if the two of could talk and discuss these things seriously before decisions are made.
Be prepared coz in every decisions made, there would always be sacrifices that has to be done... goodluck then OP!