is this a solid enough reason to call it quits? (12)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-19 19:15 ID:OpDiIRAH

my girlfriend told me that she is okay with sleeping with other people if it's just sex, and that it can work both ways.

now some guys would love that but i'm a traditionalist at heart and it's been bothering me. not only the sex, but it's more of the fact that if she thinks that way, it means there's a big fundamental difference in our mindsets that does not bode well for the relationship.

she's willing to promise that she won't sleep with someone else, but i don't want her to go around with some mental barrier either.

advice much appreciated.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-20 02:06 ID:lqztU3i7

leave her before she breaks your heart... with that type of morality... she is bound to cheat on you sooner or later.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-20 06:08 ID:w2RWuse8

Seconded, drop her fast, that's the first sign things are going to go bad.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-20 07:26 ID:rrYzKt+9

OP here. thanks for the feedback.

long story short, after a discussion, we're on a break now. she basically kept emphasising she would be perfectly fine with not getting any on the side, and that she doesn't want to; it's just that she's fine with it.

and also the fact that i'm her first boyfriend and everything she knows about relationships and other related concepts she learnt from me. basically she kept going on about how she meant that the physical aspect doesn't equate love.

sounds like wonky logic to me though.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-21 02:31 ID:y/yArMq6

Really, it's more of a question of if she would actually be satisfied with a monogamous relationship. Give her a chance...

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-22 04:59 ID:6KdofHrt

You sound like a major prude. It's fine if you don't want to have an open relationship, and you should tell her that, but to not want to date someone because they don't equate sex with ~love~ like you do is kind of stupid.

From what you say she has said it sounds like she's fine with and willing to commit to having a monogamous relationship with you, so what's the problem? Do you not trust her?

>sounds like wonky logic to me though.

There's a whole community of swingers out there who understand that logic perfectly.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-22 09:04 ID:jGrN29v+

you say she is willing to promise she won't sleep with anyone else so what is the problem? it seems like she is saying that for your sake not for hers. you say mental barrier but you should realize that thats how relationships work they are a conspiracy between the two people full of mental barriers convoluted logic and irrational thoughts or feelings.

Also i find this thread hilarious the first posts say they should break up then after OP comes back and says they are on break everyone says that she deserves a chance.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-27 01:57 ID:MLKPpgni

....um... just throwing it out there....

she got a phone number?

9 Name: nursing heart : 2010-05-06 04:23 ID:37rahmIr

everyone deserves a chance and everyone has different opinion on things... well, i grew up in a traditionalist family so i agree with OP, a sex without love is not worthwhile and once a cheater is always a cheater...

10 Name: ItsThePost : 2010-05-07 08:39 ID:QtolU/vP

I agree with nursing <3 ^^

11 Name: Wonderfelt : 2010-05-09 15:24 ID:YFOWTcET

me 3 .. agree with nursing .... but if you have hopes for your woman then why not try test her ? if she can truly keep her promise .. this may be a bit rude .. but if you truly love her then you can only try to know if she can keep her promise ... but really chances are low .. but if you really insist before you let go .. you may try testing her .. its not like your lost will increase ... so good luck .

12 Name: not my problem : 2010-05-11 10:28 ID:pZ0rmxlx

>>9 thirded

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.