Would you date someone who needs a lot of emotional support? Someone who's been hurt and nearly closed themselves up in their shell?

if they were hot.

Of course! We wouldn't even necessarily have to be dating for them to get my support, so long as they have a good heart, and are willing to try their best to personally grow. Unfortunately, it seems the majority of "broken" people are completely selfish and just want to bask in the pity. They aren't worth the air they breathe.

There are, however, some genuine angels with broken wings out there. I haven't met any personally, but so long as they exist, I'll keep an open mind when approaching anyone who claims to be hurt. Just for that small chance that they might truly need my help.

I have in the past and I would now looking back on it but it is a little more difficult than it sounds and I'd have a hard time telling someone to go for it.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I could never be in a serious relationship with friend of mine who I do have some strong romantic feelings for. He's too broken, too crazy. It would destroy what we do have: a wonderful, flirtatious, and intellectually stimulating friendship. (Our conversations are brilliant. Fucking brilliant.)

But I know if we ever tried to date (and there are a lot of other reasons why we aren't going to try), we'd lose each other. He'd ask for more than I could give, get jealous over stupid things, etc.

This is kind of a roundabout way of saying "no." I'd be someone's friend, though. Support them through hard times, let them cry on my shoulder, encourage them... But I'm a big believer in sorting yourself out (at least to an extent) before getting into a relationship. Your partner is not your shrink.

OP here.

I'm reading a thread on /adv/ about a guy in a relationship with someone who's been abused. She is being a complete bitch and freeloader but the guy feels guilty about breaking up.

I am one of those lost souls. I have never been in a relationship before. It makes me cry reading that thread. I want to find THE ONE but I don't want to hurt them. I'm afraid of becoming the abuser. I do get strong, destructive urges sometimes and have acted out on objects a few times and felt incredibly guilty after.

I don't want to hurt the one I will love but if I confront them with the truth, based on all the replies here and on that thread, anyone in their right mind would immediately dump me. I want to love and be loved but in the end, I am already damaged and unfit for anything but destroying myself.

It depends. You see, many people with BPD and related disorders were often abused, and their disorder usually is partly rooted in their negative history. So, would I date a BPD or cluster B disordered person? No. They are abusive personalities. No matter how you try, they cannot be fixed.

They have a sob story, it may be true, and they always require huge amounts of psychological, emotional, and sometimes even physical effort to please, but that is fleeting. They are never happy, and they do their best to control their SO totally and utterly- fiscally, emotionally, socially, etc.

So, no, I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone like that.

But someone who just came out of a negative situation, and is really a decent person, and just needs the emotional support... well that's a different story.