>> without actually clarifying what "the whole thing" is.

Does it really have to be said out? Obviously she's referring to your change in attitude ever since she turned you down. That you're not willing to accept it, move on, and be friends. Of course though, no-one would expect you to stay friends, but she clearly wants to go back to the way things used to be. The fact that she's more openly critical of you now, is probably retaliation against your hostile attitude towards her. She might have felt regret/sorry when she turned you down, but now those feelings have probably been quenched by you being an ass to her.

If I were in your position and I still wanted to stay friends with her, I would probably confront her about it, and confess that I was having a hard time over the rejection, hence my jackass behaviour. I would also tell her that I'm not sure if I could stay friends with her without developing feelings again.

But one thing you should perhaps ask yourself is that if your heart is hurting more, or your ego? Because your actions sound like someone acting in spite, and not really reflective of how much you supposedly care/d about her.