so i met this girl at my university during halloween, we actually got to know each other when our class mates went clubbing that night. lets just call the girl "J"
so me and J study in this international college at our university, shes doing international business and im doing journalism, so after we got to know each other, we would sometimes talk on msn or just say hi whenever we bump into each other. so it wasnt till around late december that we actually started talking face to face during our sports class. she even started to open convos with me on MSN and talk a lot more when we bump into each other. so on new years eve i had a party at my place, off course i invited her as well and apparently that night she was very sticky towards me according to what my friends were saying. that night on new years eve, i was taking some photos with one of my good friends in my room, she saw and was like "oh you guys are taking photos? i want in!" and she comes into the middle and we started taking photos on my bed, then later it was just me and her taking photos on my bed.
after NYE, we talked a lot more on MSN and facebook, even talk a lot face to face as well, sometimes she would sorta joke saying "ahhh your bothering me again" and if i dont talk to her she'll come up to me on MSN and say "how come your not bothering me?" there was one time when i didnt go on MSN, and i msged her "i didnt bother you tonight, happy?" and she replied to me saying "yeh i didnt see you online last night, did you block me? :( where are you?" i was actually in the school library at the time and didnt reply her, she called me and started asking where i was, i told her i was in the library and she said shes coming to see me with her friend. when i said i was gonna leave the library, J would say "ohh your leaving already?!" about every time she sees me in the library at school.
so after the finals, she has to go back home which is like.... an hour by bus from the city im staying which is closer to my university. so during the winter break last month, J says shes coming to my city to learn english from me with her good friend (im actually chinese living in Taiwan, J is a local in taiwan), but i met up with the good friend first cos she wanted to learn more english, when J found out she was like saying "ohh!! how can she meet up with your first!! aint we seeing you on saturday already?". there was one night i called her asking if she wanted to eat at this nice cake place when she comes, and later at around 3AM, she calls me saying she doesnt want to eat cake. so im like "so...you call me at 3AM saying you dont want to eat cake?! haha" and she starts giggling with her friend (she had a friend staying over at her place that night) and we sorta talked for a while just laughing and i can hear my self on loud speaker. I was actually at my friends place as well and it was around 3:40 after we hang up for around 5 mins, i called back saying "hey i cant sleep now thanks to you" and J was like "ohh so you wanna chat with me is it?" and also said that she needed to wake up early at 10. So we talked a bit intill her friend said “arhhh can you make “J” shut up, I wanna sleep”, we still txted for a bit before we went to sleep. So when she came up to see me, we went to a pasta shop for lunch with two of her good friends, we didn't practice any English at all (LOL), but J was pretty quiet that day and sometimes would just look at me and smile a little. According to J’s good friend, they were suppose to go visit one of their friends in the south of Taiwan, but the good friend couldn't go and J said that they should come visit me and practice more English.
*continue
J's good friend sorta wants me and J to get together cos she says we look good together, and she asked J to go out with me but she says "oh, we're too good friends to go out, it'll be strange". but when i heard about that i was just thinking " she knows nothing about my past apart from my ex gf, we actually dont talk as much compare to other people, i dont know much about her, how are we too good friends?"
the good friend finds it strange as well and said maybe she really does think we're good friends. so the day comes when she came to my place with the good friend to supposedly practice more english, again we barely practice any english, end up playing some card games and mahjong LOL, J said she was cold and i was like "oh i got really warm hands" and i just grabbed onto both of her hands for i think was around 3 minutes. my friend said he thought would just last maybe like a few seconds, didnt think it would last that long, i was a little shocked as well haha. so we went to dinner that night to a burger place, and J was sitting opposite me, we talked and smiled a lot, i realize sometimes she likes to just look right into my eye and just smile at me, kinda makes me nervous. so after dinner, she just took a bus back home, and i realized she came all the way from her home which was an hour away just to come see me, i even called her that night just to make sure she got home safe. the other day i called her cos i was a little bored at home, she was playing monopoly at her friends place so didnt talk that much, but later at around 1:30AM, she msged me saying she finished playing monopoly, we txted a bit and i think she went to sleep cos she said she was really tired. last night when i was talking to J, she would be like "i knew you were bothering me again" and ill kinda tease her saying "why are you so mean to me" and she'll be like "only to you" and tries to talk cute calling me and her self names. so im sorta confused if im really "a too good friend" or was that an excuse?
Well, its always hard when its between "best friend" and "girl friend" .....
but anyway, according to what you told us, it seems that both of you are comfortable with each other, and you're not sure about what she'd think if she knows your past or something?
start up with like.. tell her you're gonna bother her about something different - your past... then learn some about her past too ~ and after a while, if you both are still comfortable with each other even after exchanging past stories and what not - you should really try to ask her out... just saying...
I say, keep going as you are, get closer, and wait for a really good moment to act upon your feelings. With any luck, she'll reciprocate. If not, you can just try to stray away from that one awkward moment and move on. Good luck though, I'm rooting for ya!
ask her out. I'm a girl who's been in the 'friend zone' with one of my guy friends for about a couple years now. He never asked me out. Believe me, she's probably waiting for you to.
It really seems like she likes you, so I don't see why you should keep things dragging on any longer than it should. Ask her out soon bro, you'll not regret it.
Well you generally have 3 outcomes with asking someone like that out. Either they say no. They say yes. Or then quite talking to you all together. Ive had a problem before where I was best friends with a girl for 6 years. I kinda got attracted to her about 3 years into the friendship but I was too afraid to say anything. But like 4 months ago I gather up the courage to tell her how I felt in a super long text. She texts back and says to stop texting her and she thinks it would be best if we didn't hang out anymore either. I was shattered when I saw that text. So you have to be careful, yeah sure you may not be AS good of friends as she thinks but thats just it, she thinks so and so to her it might feel very awkward.