No love (6)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-05-14 11:12 ID:LOXetMMR

I'm a grad student in my mid-20's. I'll have good career prospects if I work hard. I'm not bad looking, I try to keep myself in shape and I have a decent, non-shitty personality (I hope.)

However I am socially completely fucked. I have no friends right now. Every day after I'm done with class and other business I go to my apartment and stay there. I can't relate to anyone else my age, I don't share any interests with them. And getting to the real subject, I have no romantic prospects. I've only ever had one girlfriend, back in college, and I didn't even really care about her much (she made the first move and I went along with it.) To be honest many women repel me. I'm not even that attracted to most of them, emotionally or physically. But I still feel lonely and worthless. I know I should start socializing etc. but I just can't. All I do is study, work and beat off to doujins. Nobody is supposed to live this way. How do I pull myself out of this shithole?

2 Name: Mr Write : 2011-05-14 17:52 ID:oHgDNpQT

Learn to converse. Expand your interests, and be passionate about them. Keep up with the latest news, movies, and the local sports team. Most introductions start with inane topics; get used to it. Have stories to tell, and make more if you don't. Be agreeable, and don't be afraid to lie a little to do so. Have a good attitude. Give compliments. Start exercising if you don't already; you'll feel and look better for it. Learn to play an instrument; that's always sexy. Learn how to dress well. Good shoes are more important than you realize. When dealing with women, do the typical man things like paying the bill and taking the lead; most women actually like this. Be surreptitiously flirtatious when you can, if you can pull it off. Be confident, not only in attitude but body language and posture as well. Even if you feel awkward, do not look like it. Never make it apparent that your social life is lacking. Don't be clingy, ever. Don't expect anyone to come to you first. Don't be afraid of failure, as the worst case scenario is never as bad as having done nothing at all.

And don't expect The One to be your entire social life.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-05-16 17:08 ID:OW1HkXNL

Well, yeah. That's all stuff I know objectively I need to do. But if it were as easy as all that I wouldn't have any problems. And I mentioned I'm not even attracted to women anymore. The last thing I had for a girl was back in high school, probably. I literally don't feel any desire towards them anymore, but I still feel very alone if that makes sense.

I'm also tired of being reminded by my family that my cousins are getting married/engaged/whatever and looking at me like "when are you going to go be a normal guy" etc. If I do pick it up and get a girlfriend it's going to be completely meaningless to me anyway. Maybe I just feel like this because I'm depressed? Maybe.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-05-21 13:42 ID:MLyIL1LE

>And don't expect The One to be your entire social life.

Good point.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-06-12 01:29 ID:b7C4R6f8

You said you didn´t care about your last girlfriend...why is that? Think about it. Why don´t you feel attracted to most women? Try to talk to them, to learn what is it about them that you don´t care, that makes you want to push them away.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-06-13 00:50 ID:yNnkD1rm

sounds like you just havent met anyone you connect with well. thats not terribly strange. changing your attitude towards social interaction wont necessarily change things for the better. if youre forcing yourself to act a certain way youll only be able to keep that up for so long and you wont enjoy it in the long run.

being lonely sucks but sometimes circumstances force it. you could always try joining some sort of club for whatever interests you may have. its cliched but its somewhere to start.

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