Im a 21 yr old virgin (2)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-12-24 04:50 ID:cFAX+9BG

ok I want to clarify I live in the US, apparently this was info that was needed in another forum... anyway...

Ok so here it is, I'm a virgin and I've never been with a girl before. Now I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks and I think that things might be getting more serious. I'm worried about a lot of stuff concerning this, I've never been in this position so idk whats expected? Do I have to make the first move? how do I do that? so like when we do do something together, i'm undoubtly gonna finish fast and way before her. so do I have to 'manually' finish her too? I have sex toys, do I bring these out? is that creepy? how do i tell her I think I'm bi? do i tell her i think i'm bi? i have a major foot fetish, do i tell her this or is that too creepy? I can't stop thinking and worring about all this! AHHH! :'( please help!Ok another thing I forgot to mention, is while it would be my first time I know already that its not hers, shes been in other relationships and such... is she gonna think i'm a fool if i tell her shes my first? is she gonna not wanna deal with someone when its there first time?

when we do hang out she only ever wants to come over to my place and watch stuff on netflix, she'll go out to eat once in a while but usually doesn't want to go do anything else. so does that mean something? We haven't even made out or anything yet either. does she expect that I have to make the first move cus I'm the guy? cus it scares the hell out of me, I always end up sitting there stiff as a board and not really paying any attention to the movie lol. Is it a bad idea to just come out and say I like her and tell her that I've never done anything so idk what to do?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-12-24 14:04 ID:e9S4bb06

You're overthinking this quite a lot. Specially considering how you describe your girlfriend (some no-nonsense girl).

Should you tell her you're bi? No, not in the first months of relationship. What's the point? As long as you're interested in her, it does not concern her if you're bicurious. Now if you are actually mostly homosexual, and just can't quite accept that yet, she may get more pissed off. But even then, there's nothing really wrong, since you're giving her a chance and see if things work together, like in any other relationship. What would be really wrong is if you're not interested in her, and just use her as social cover. But it does not look that way from your description.

Now about first moves: yes, you're the one who is supposed to do it, specially since you've been meeting for a while, and she shows no signs of taking the initiative. So it's up to you. Since you're pretty insecure, the best way is to start is by touching her a lot more. I don't know if in your region it's customary for people to kiss when they greet each other, but if it's the case then just do it, so you get the hang of approaching her. And when you kiss your hellos, also touch her gently with your hand, at her hip, or by the arm. Create some bodily intimacy. If kissing is not so common, then simply get used to touching her, but without the kissing.

Once you're familiar enough with touching her, you can go for a kiss. If you're really shy,start by holding her hand or hip, move your body close, and then just kiss her. If you're the super shy and somewhat coward type, then just use the greeting kisses as an opportunity to slip and kiss her in her mouth.

Once you're in the kissing stage, sex is a natural progression. It may happen the same night, or a couple of months later, depending in you and the girl. So get yourself some condoms before you start kissing, not to be taken by surprise. Do train yourself into using condoms, no need to improvise it during your first time.

About the virgin stuff, don't agonize about it. When you've agreed to have sex, tell her that it's your first time, and are not adverse to some guidance. If you don't make a big deal about it, she does not need to either. Just remember that there's no way that a virgin guy (or girl) can fake it (unless perhaps if they're both virgins and hiding it). So just be open about it, there's nothing terribly important about that. Do note that you will probably mess up your first time, and it's normal, so don't get unnecessarily depressed about it. You'll get the hang of it, just like every other man.

But really, you're overthinking stuff. Just remember that it's you who needs to take initiative, and simply try what you feel on the spur of the moment, instead of endlessly agonizing about it beforehand.

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