your first kiss is not special. losing your virginity is not a special occasion. any guy who isnt a loser will be very turned off by you still being a virgin. im sorry that movies and tv have manipulated you into thinking that these petty physical interactions are "special" but they are not. as you continue to age males over 24 will see you as being mentally unstable if you come out giggling and being weird about things as simple as a kiss. that immaturity puts up huge red flags that you are not someone they want to tangle with.

my suggestion is to grab one of your close male friends you consider a "brother" but only hangs out around you because they want to get in your pants (All of them) and just have sex with them.

this board has a lot of nerds, but we also have a handful of people with real world experience. i expect a punch of "its ok to wait for the right guy (me please god let it be me im so lonley)" type posts, but thats all bullshit.

have sex, realize its not that big a deal, and then learn to be happy being alone before searching for a real relationship. from your post you strike me as someone who may have been sexually abused as a child, you need to work through your own personal issues before even thinking about a real, and serious relationship. until that time though have a spattering of one night stands (use a condom, no fucking exceptions). and get some experience under your belt.

listen to my advice or dont, i don't care. but i am right.