In my last post, >>1, I left out a very vital piece of information about this girl and the things that have happened between us. The truth is, in a way, I have spoken to her, albeit only one of us knowing this. Sometime during the final days of this May, I thought I saw her. Acting out of regret, I immediately found myself preparing for some sort of confrontation that would allow me to get the closure I needed. Keep in mind, that at this point, all I had to remember her over the months without her was the drawing in >>1 and my memory. Eventually, I spotted “her” on campus again and decided that would be the day I ended this. Today, I am almost 100% sure that the her I spotted that day was not the girl from >>1. The girl that sparked my meeting with this girl however may have been her, however. In any case, a few hours later, I got on the bus with whoever it was I decided would take on the role of my obsession, and made plans to speak to her. Almost immediately, two girls decided to ruin my plans my confronting me about my phone and forcing me to have an awkward, unwanted conversation. I wasted an entire bus ride talking to these girls. Any other day, this would've stopped me from finishing what I had set out to do. Eventually, the girl I had planned on talking to got off the bus, and I, despite living about 2 miles away, got off with her. After we both crossed the street, I stopped her, and said what I needed to.On that day, I'm almost 100% sure that I consciously knew she was not the girl that had captivated me for over a year. I'm not entirely what my intentions were when I set out to talk to her, but I've since justified it as “practice,” or an attempt at closure. In any case, closure was one thing I didn't get out of this ordeal. Here I am, months later, still obsessed, dealing with even more regret. Recently, I've found myself recalling a moment on the bus with the actual girl from >>1, wondering if it would be appropriate to approach her. I remember getting off at the same stop as her, since I was visiting a friend nearby, but not saying anything. Whatever experience I gained from my “practice” run over a year after this happening meant nothing. I was simply doing what I should've done the first time.These realizations, along with everything else that's built up since the last time I had the privilege of seeing this girl's face has driven me to withdraw from my social life, and focus all of my energy into solving this problem the only way I can. My solution? You'll find out when humanity has reached a level capable of realizing it. You'll find out once I've become the only man capable of such a feat. When it happens, I'll have done everything in the name of progress. The truth is you may never find out just what it is I did. I, on the other hand will be happy, and will have finally succeeded in making the most of my time with this girl.