I've been meaning to make this thread for sometime now, on the Net Culture or General board. This is a much better place!
In this thread, we talk about any online relationships you've been in on the internet. Discussion about online relationships and whether you've seen them work or not is also encouraged.
My girlfriend is 3000+ miles away. We have been dating online for six months, and never seen each other in person. It will be two more years before we are able to meet each other, because of our age.
I have dreamed of being in a relationship like this one. It is so perfect. She's very loving, and very affectionate. She's really cute (definatly my ideal girl), and we even have similar hobbies! Sounds perfect.
Well... I've been talking to this girl online for the past 2 years. We've gotten to the point where we know a lot about each other, seens various pictures of each other, and can pretty much discuss anything.
No doubt, if I met and befriended her in real life, I would have asked her out by now.
I knew my fiancè 6 years ago, I knew him in the IRC.
I didn't think about love. I thought about a pretty friendship and he thought the same.
I was in an online relationship when I was younger. We met in a pretty improbable way (I was demanding that someone bake me an internet pie!), and talked for quite a while before it went beyond simple friendship. We did get to meet, once - I'm in Arkansas and she lived in Alabama, so it was only about a 6-hour drive. I stayed with her family for about a week, and it was some of the best times of my life. Her parents actually liked me! I'm not entirely certain what brought us together like that - but I honestly loved her. Ultimately though, we fell apart because what she wanted me to be was contradictory - she didn't like that I wasn't completely independent of anyone else, but at the same time she wanted me to do/be what she wanted. In the end, it just wasn't meant to be. It's sad.
I had a great online relationship with this girl who was about the same age as me, and we shared some interests etc etc. Then I got an opportunity to go visit her (she was in another country), and when I got there, I found out that the phone number she had given me was wrong, belonging to someone else. She became completely unavailable online. Finally, on the last day before I had to return home, in late afternoon when it was already starting to get dark, she suggested I go to some park in a less populous area unknown to me. I almost did this, but thought better of it.
I have a "working" online relationship. Needs more money or else cheaper plane tickets.
Not really. At that point it was more of a relief.
It also put things in perspective; I now know that of the people you chat with on the internet, those that actually care about you at all (even non-romantically) are the exception, not the rule. And that if they refuse to exchange letters or talk on the phone, they're not exceptions. Which leads into a bunch of "net culture" related topics...
I think it's kind of funny and sad how the "girlfriend in Canada" meme has become a part of our culture these days. Erm, that might be putting it a bit strongly, but...
Not really. Looking back on it, I have no idea what the hell I was trying to say.
I've seen it work with my friend. Although, it definitely took the relationship some time to develop. Actually, it was more like, "I didn't see that coming."
Women are all whores, don't bother.
Instead of trying to have relationships you should rape as many as you can. In the future women will have no rights left because people (aka men) will realize that they aren't human.
True. Women can barely think as it is. No intelligent man would consider a women human.
No intelligent man would spell the singular of "women" women either. Therefore, you must be a "women".
I think it would be awesome if we took men's rights away. Remember that all you need to reproduce is a woman's egg cell and advanced technology. It wouldn't be just clones--one day we'll even be able to merge two egg cells' contents together. You better be glad women haven't done something about you lazy parasites yet.
Your piss-weak attempt at some sort of male-bashing troll has earnt this thread a sage. NOW GO AND DIE KTHNXBAI
Wow DQN and /b/ moved in here pretty fast... And >>21 needs to learn the point of sage.
In any case, to me, it doesn't seem like online relationship could really work out. For companionship, yes, they could last quite a long time of chatting and so forth, but I'd never expect anything like marriage to come of it. I've talked to a close friend for about 1 year now without any real life contact but rather online. We share a common interest, FFXI.
I'm married to a lovely woman I met online. And the first woman I ever really fell in love with I only knew through email and snail mail.
In both cases, I did have enough information to know that they were on the level.
I don't think an online relationship would work for me. It's not that I say it's impossible, all people are different. Some may not have an urge to feel a human, they could be perfectly content with just chat and talk. Don't get me wrong, I love both chat and talk, but in a relationship, I seek more than that.
Do you ever wonder about what might have happened if you'd gone to that park?
you do relise that allot of those people that declare their love for each other and have in-game mariages are mostly people that know each other offline and are b/f and g/f there too
We must run in different circles. I think I prefer yours.
My exes got married and had an in-game wedding a week after the actual irl wedding. That was awesome.
Im not saying its impossible for me to meet someone online and have a RL relationship but I think its highly unlikely... Maybe if we actually heard each others voices over Vent or even TS or something of that sort would it even have a chance... I'm the type of person who likes to talk and not really type... Guess its just a preference...
you see, i'm the opposite. I hate talking but can type away all fucking day about everything and anything.
I always thought I could never get into an online relationship.. I'm always all "LOL INTERNET" and can't really take it seriously. Plus people always act so different online then in real life.
I have seen it work out though, between someone I know very well who now lives happily with her BF she met online.. but I still never really thought it could work for me.
I always thought I could never get into an online relationship.. I'm always all "LOL INTERNET" and can't really take it seriously. Plus people always act so different online then in real life.
sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesnt.
As I spend 95% of the day online i know many people on the net. Many found their love, some even moved together. One guy even married the girl and the have a child now.
As for myself i met some girls but only had a online girlfriend (met in real life too) once :(
The Internet is the wrong place to look for women. It is a sausage fest. Men outnumber women online by some ridiculous number. It is like getting into ham radio to pick up chicks.
And yes, I have tried, and no, on those rare occasions--once, maybe twice in each year of looking very hard--that I have found someone I felt really attracted to and wanted to meet, it does not work. Most often she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. Or, worse, she is married, or she has a boyfriend, or she is a man, or she agrees to meet and I travel two days to get there and my cell phone never rings, then I return home only to discover that she has been calling me an asshole and weirdo in her Livejournal for the past six months, all the while pretending to care when she talked to me.
Actually I've read that females outnumber males on certain websites such as LiveJournal.com. And I in fact have a friend who literally got laid as a result of that site, so clearly, it can happen. Now, I suppose trying to pick up chicks on IRC would be rather stupid, on the other hand.
there's a guy (i'm gay, btw) who seems to be seriously in love with me after only a couple of days talking on MSN. he seems like a really nice guy, but.. it's rare that i can feel that way about someone without actually meeting them, or at least knowing them online for a long time.
Be careful with that one. Sometimes someone discovers they really like someone from minimal interactions. Other times, the person in question really just has a tendancy to "fall in love" and just as quickly "fall in hate".
You know what rules? Having your wife develop a romance in MMORPGs and then decide to stay with that guy for good.
I suppose I shouldn't complain too much... I found her on the Internet to start with. :-/
I've been through a lot of surprisingly difficult relationships over the internet. The last two did a pretty hard number on me, as they happened in rapid succession. The first was short, but I had fallen hard. The second lasted over a year... but the breakup was even worse. It took well over a year for me to get over it and start to move on.
the more i talk to this guy (or the more he talks to me) .. well, he's really starting to annoy me. i feel like i'll have to meet him now, otherwise he'll just be a noise on a computer. CHRIST MAN I WANT TO SLEEP
actually that was way too harsh on the poor bastard. i'm just tired.
The internet is admittedly one of the worst places to find romance of all. Not impossible, but one of the worst.
I've asked people in the MMORPG I play in why they're so desperate to get "married" and find and online girlfriend, their answer: People are more sincere online and it's not about the looks, it's about personality. I think that's bullshit, anyone can pull out a fake personality online, simply because everyone's anonymous to some extent.
>>49 I agree, and also it's easy to pull a fake personality without really meaning to or even noticing it.
as for my exerpince, I met her on IRC 11 months ago. I love her very much and she loves me. I didn't go around "picking up chficks" on the internet (in fact, in the past, i've made o fun of people with online relationships), but then I couldn't help myself to fall in love after awhile. She's great, we'll be meeting soon.
I've tried searching online for love, but it just doesn't feel right sometimes. The most I've gotten to is just instant messaging.
Anyway, any decent looking girl who puts up her picture is probably gonna get swarmed with PMs from desperate guys everywhere. Even if you ain't desperate (relatively, lol), she might just lump you in the whole group.
Anyone who says dating on an MMORPG isn't about looks obviously hasn't camped in town for hours waiting for a certain piece of clothing to show up in a shop.
hmm. yeah. there's absolutely no way i can sustain an online relationship as well as the person on the other end of it. i just can't take it even remotely seriously. plus there's someone else i can't forget about.
i had an online relationship with a girl who lived very close to me, and also went to the same high school! But we've never really met in real life, only on the internet. whenever we met in real life it would be very breif and we've never really been with each other for more than a minute.
dont make relationships with girls in video games. my friend, actually poses as a woman in final fantasy 11, and milks this guy for all that hes worth, they talk on aim/msn and wahtever, and exchange words and etc. etc. creepy thing is, my friends sent this guy pictures, of this hot girl he knows, so, hes none the wiser at all, his whole set up is so real, and so scary, no one would be able to tell if it was a girl or not online, thats, scary. i mean, my friend asked the guy for money just because he wanted this sick crossbow. And what did the guy do? he went out and farmed for 2 mil and gave it to him, thats just...man.....i say, thats damn cruel, and well, my friend says, "good buisness"
I'm going to have to agree, online relationships are a train wreck. I've tried to make about 3 of them succeed but end up in failure, I think RL (Real Life) realationships are the only way to go, sure you can meet and understand a person intellectually online but if you do get that chance to meet them your perspective is completely shot. I met this one woman online once and she seemed to be absolutely my perfect girl, we had the same interests and everything. After talking for a bit I noticed she wasn't all that great but still had some of the same interests so I went along and decided to meet her. After about 2 meetings with her and one to her house it turns out she was a complete FRAUD she was not the woman I thought she was personality wise anyways, her name address and college she attends were all valid but the personality she created was so not her and I just couldn't stand it any longer.
bear in mind also, my friend was AIRTIGHT, making freakin, myspaces, and xangas, and what not, AIRTIGHT.....lol beware. and, he even got consensual consent from the girl in the photo, in case the guy ever wanted to meet up, thats really i think, just airtight...
Been through this shit two times with girls who lived on other continents. Yes, we did meet for longer times irl.
No, it didn't work out. Yes, it wrecked me. Boohoo.
I have an online boyfriend. We've been dating for 2+ years now.
It works. We both have perfectly healthy normal social lives, but I'm awesome and he's awesome so we fit together perfectly. Plus his parents are richhh so We get 50$ Southwest tickets every couple of months and have a week-long visit.
It does work, but it is rare that it will.
I have been dating my boyfriend for three years, we got engaged, and he moved to be with me.
Things are still working great, and he started off halfway across the world.
I wouldn't recommend it because people tend to feel more anonymous and act differently online, but if you do get lucky, good job.
I met my fiance online - we happened to be living only about 20 miles apart but we exchanged emails for about 6 months before we actually met. Having said that we emailed as friends, it didn't become a relationship as such until our 3rd meeting! But it was a good way to start getting to know each other.
Now we have been together almost 3 years, I have moved to Japan to be with him (he is Japanese, he was studying in the UK) and marriage - even trying for a baby - is definitely on the cards in the coming year.
That last sentence there is incredibly insightful and non-obvious.
In ten years, people will realize that the internet is a part of real life.
If we're lucky.
>>70 still has the right idea, but the artificial divide between real life and THE INTERNET is just too silly for words.
I've seen online relationships blossom into real life relationships. None of mine ever have. Now I've had two with girls that I've actually loved: one so fucked up that it'd take many paragraphs to explain it, the other was pretty good until the girl suddenly decided that she didn't wanna be in any serious relationship.
> I think online though, people are often more uninhibited, and you get to see their true personality show.
This is naive. 90% of human communication is nonverbal => not being yourself is easy to do online, often by accident. You don't get an accurate idea of someone's personality at all.
Assuming that statistic is true, 90% of physical communication is non-verbal. But that begs the question of what comprises this communication. Now I could think of hand motions, expressions on the face I suppose. Most online communication is verbal, but emotions can still be expressed. I don't know how you can "not be yourself by accident." You can act different online (MORE UNINHIBITED PERHAPS) than you do offline, but you are still you. If you don't have a mental disorder, and you aren't actively trying to cover up your true personality, then your true personality is going to shine through either way. When I say that people are often more uninhibited, I mean it because online people don't feel as bogged down by the conventions and pressures as they do when they physically communicate. It could evolutionary, as the brain hasn't quite evolved to deal with cyberspace yet. The point is: online, people are more likely to speak their minds, because they don't have as much to fear.
i've had an online boyfriend for a while. god i want to dump him, can't stand the guy. but his life is so goddamned shitty that i think he might actually kill himself, which obviously i don't want to happen.
That foo aint gonna kill himself. The breakup will happen eventually anyway. What will you do, marry the guy so he won't "kill himself?"
> I don't know how you can "not be yourself by accident."
Quite easily: by listening to music that changes your mood, being at work on something in the background, or just deciding, without realizing it, that you're going to act differently than you usually do. Perhaps it's a personality-type thing?
Logged forever? Stuff like said on the image boards is deleted regularly, just as many forum posts are.
"Quite easily: by listening to music that changes your mood, being at work on something in the background, or just deciding, without realizing it, that you're going to act differently than you usually do. Perhaps it's a personality-type thing?"
> Personality could mean how we act without an ulterior motive. Or it could mean how we act without restraint.
Usually on a line-buffered internet chat medium people will have at least the latter.
logged forever haha many an argument with my ex was won because it just so happened the converstation we were refering to was one that we were having through icq （＾∀＾）.v
I had a relationship almost 3 years with a girl around 10 hours away from me. She ended up breaking up with me because I started spending all my time with my friends instead of in my roon talking to her. Which I'm glad I did. I lived at a boarding school for art, and made my best friends there, which I probably wouldn't have made had I spent all my time cooped up in my room chatting with my girlfriend.
I'm glad you're story has a happy ending ^_^
I have one... He's totally pissing me off.
Dump that internet loser and get with one of us internet losers!
Eheh... It's impossible dump him >_< gosh, what I did?!
I'm in love with someone I got to know in web. No chance we have it seems.
is it true that if you like someone from the web its a absolute no chance?? but theres so much people that falls on the net ~~"
Maybe there is really no chance but I won't give up~
woww!! i support ya!! goodluck!! maybe i shouldn't give up as well!
I have had two online relationships, and both lead to something in real life and for long term. The first one went on for 2 years and 11 months and the other one has been going on for a little more than five years now. We still live far apart and use the internet to communicate with each other daily. But the problem in making the relationship work is very good communication skills. If you are unable to communicate with the other person or show them you care, then things can go down the real fast.
woww!! soo far i am waiting for the girl i really like to email me back. i waited for 1 month now, we talked on the microphone always for 5-6 hours ~"~
I had two online relationships... my first was constructed of nothing more than lies and frabication for her simple amusement and I was burnt. The second well it was pretty good for a year till we actually met which then her dad stepped in, but then I did manage to get a really good and understanding friend.
so no regrets there.
i had one who was pissing me right off. but i could never bring myself to dump him, until i got really, really drunk. you should try it.
alright, enough happy end stories, time for some serious internet DRAMA, bitches.
roughly 3 years ago, while in the youths of my college years, a classmate of mine introduced me to a foreign mmorpg.
it was some time shortly afterwards that i finally brought enough courage to say the words "I love you." over msn.
i should of known something was wrong when she casually replied, "you know, a lot of people said that to me before. but they've never meant anything to me... but you... I love you too."
this continued.. for days.. weeks.. months.
fuck, i even memorized the maintenance days for when the game server she was playing on was going on, so i know she was avaliable to chat with for those measlely 1.5 hours.
i was a desperate and blinded kid, with no experience, and my mind was literally deteriorating while i waited.. waited.. waited for that single moment when she would talk back to me.
she pm'ed me a message:
"Hey. you've always wanted to meet me, and i've always refused them right?" (she insisted we never meet before, because she didnt like meeting people over the internet or some shit.)
me: "yeah, what about it?"
TRUST NO ONE. IT'S A TRAP, etc etc
Thanks for amusing me
shit she was a man, wtf. what did u do then???
it turns out, that he was feeling sorry for some desperate loser like me, and pretended to be a girl that liked me to get my hopes up or some idealistic shit like that. but he didnt actually think i was seriously falling in love with her, enough to fall into depressions because of 'her'.
wow. beautiful. bravo. so yeah, what happened then, trap guy?
>i gave another trash digger a 5 dollar bill. and he was like "HOLY SHIT!"
Omg,.. I didn't want to give up, but I was never hurted like that before.. There is really no chance. I have to give up.
>>104 man i feel so sorry for u~~" but stil dont give up! keep trying ^^
Depending on your luck though I guess online relationship can sometimes be helpful for people who are too shy in real life or are an loser irl like how I used to be.
back in back in gr 9, I was your average ugly gamers freak with no fashion sense, or any knowledge of how to talk to people. I met someone online though a friend, and began dating her online, I have to say I found out she was a complete whore (she dated online one of my best friend before me and afterward dated a bunch of our other friends). It was one of my first relationships, it was shitty and I was hurted but a few month later in the summer I dated again this was who I considered to be my first gf, and I guess the online relationship in some way prepared me for it.
A question to all of you who had some kind of online relationship, failed or not. Where do you actually meet women online? I doubt that 4-ch is a good place :)
There are a decent number of women on 4-ch, but the anonymous thing probably gets in the way.
i'm not sure where guys would meet girls online but for girls, but for me, gaming is the place since it's like...70% full of guys =O~ tho i usually don't tell people i'm a female cuz there are some crazy guys out there x_x been harrassed a few times and had to report them to the GM >_>;;
Hint for all of the 4-ch females out there: If you want a guy that is intelligent and mature do not act like >>116.
Yes, seriously. Don't use that many smilies unless you're under 14 or mentally retarded.
A problem for me when talking to girls in games or on the internet in general is that they are all the huggles kind, it makes me sick to my stomach.
how many people here meet girls from online games??
If by "meet" and "girls" you mean,
"go down to Crawler's Nest and grind some experience with a Mithra in my party",
then yes, I do.
I've met a few traps so I always assume that there are no girls on the internets. Except my brothers girlfriend maybe but that doesn't count.
hahaha THERES NO GIRLS ON THE INTERNET! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP! ITS A TRAP!
"There are no women on the internet. In fact, I'm pretty certain there are no women at all, although I've never left the basement to check."
Games seem like a really bad place to seek relationships, from what I've heard. I don't think I have met anyone, not even regular friends, in a game.
Though really, it's hard for me to say anything bad about finding someone on the internet. Although I definitely don't prefer an internet girlfriend to a real-life girlfriend, I have never had any problems as far as someone turning out to be completely different than they seemed to be online. I have only had one internet relationship, though, which ended a year ago (I am >>84). I think as long as you're smart about it, you probably won't run into problems. I had known and talked to the girl in my previous post for a year or two before we decided to "go out", or whatever you call it on the internet.
>>125 >I don't think I have met anyone, not even regular friends, in a game.
No kidding. Everyone is so unfriendly. I would like to start a relationship with someone from an online game, but that is just impossible.
I thought I was the only one disgusted by that shit.
(I'm a bit shy in real life with people I dont know, and having moved after high school, I dont really know anyone where I live now...being slightly wap and dorky enough to be on this board in the first place, I dont feel comfortable with "normal" guys, and at school, I dont come in contact with many people who share my interests.)
That being said, I am in said online relationship, having met my boyfriend through an online friend and of friend. It started slow, and there was a lot of "oh god, this is very long distance and the internets" time where we would try to take things slowly but would always end up still wanting each other.
just call him? it's a lot of fun to talk and hearing each others voices.
If its too expensive because you are living so far away you can also just buy a microphone and use Skype or MSN or Teamspeak. They are really cheap :3
I wish I were better at talking to girls over the phone/skype/etc :( If I don't pay attention to how I talk I come off as sad or depressed, and of course I can't think of anything to talk about! I fear that awkward silence more than anything.
>A problem for me when talking to girls in games or on the internet in general is that they are all the huggles kind, it makes me sick to my stomach.
Me too, though I have met of few of those kind which I sort of mentally fell for.
"I'm that sort of hikikomori who can't even make friends on the internet" [Satou-kun - NHK]
I'm actually very bad with phone calls myself, but if you find someone with similar interests as you, it might end up being quite a lot of fun. If I'm interested I'll talk forever.XD Just ask simple open-ended questions and such, like "What's your favorite TV show?" and such. Remember to have an answer ready yourself.^_^
>>134 Yeah but the biggest problem is when I'm talking on the phone with someone I talk on the internet with a lot. So if I know all of her favorites etc. the amount of topics to discuss is a lot less.