Man, you really love to make things difficult for yourself. I was virgin until 19, and did not think much of it, it's not so unusual and traumatic. And guess what, once you did it the first time, you'll realize that it's nothing mystical, and anyways often the first time sucks, because you have no experience.
Now if you take things so seriously, I'm not surprised that it becomes more difficult for you. Just relax, try first to learn to relate with females, and sex will come as an added bonus.