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I'm 22 and look good. Why have I never had a date/girlfriend? (85)


1 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-24 05:40 ID:OH9JcS3J

Here is my headshot. Is there something wrong with the way I look? http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=SMAYAR&key=HGX

I hear by the time you are 23 if you never have had a relationship/been on a date etc you will loose all romantic interest for the rest of your life. I really don't want to end up like that. I'm starting to get really lonely.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-24 05:50 ID:pjI1MzhQ

You're right, you're quite a good-looking guy, and there's absolutely no reason, based on your appearance, why someone wouldn't be attracted to you.

So, there must be another reason besides looks. How do you relate to girls?

3 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-24 06:13 ID:OH9JcS3J

I either come on too strong or not at all. Take tonight for instance. I decided to head out alone to a local bar and play a few games of pool. I had water to drink and while playing some random girl asks me why i'm playing alone, which I later realized was code for "ask her to play with me". I'm really slow on grasping both body language and vocal cues.

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4 Name: G Otoko : 2006-02-24 06:28 ID:YwyhVehs

>>3

Are you trying to be Densha Otoko? :P If so please stop.

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5 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-24 07:02 ID:OH9JcS3J

Definatly not trying to be him. Good show, but there is noooo way i'm as messed up as him. I don't studder when I speak or anything an my room has absolutly nothing that would make you think I am into anime or games. And I don't freak out when I talk to girls.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-24 07:44 ID:v/OKz8HC

Seek friends, not girls at this point.

7 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-24 07:48 ID:OH9JcS3J

Friends are just as hard for me to find and I have no clue why.

Well friends I actually do stuff with. I have a few friends but they are friends whose girlfriends control their lives and every minute of their time.

8 Name: RaSan : 2006-02-24 08:16 ID:ZZkNnYNP

souns like me.....:(

9 Name: G Otoko : 2006-02-24 10:03 ID:YwyhVehs

May I suggest joining a club? Meeting people with similar interests would help you. Gamer girls can be found!

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-24 12:19 ID:s/AyOzHj

>>1

>>My interests are anime, videogames, and Japan.
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11 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-24 18:18 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>9

I am taking Japanese. 90% of the ppl in my class for the last two semester are gamers. I am also a member of the Japanese student association. And I know gamer girls are somewhere out there, but guys with my lvl of social interaction stand no chance even if I can find one.

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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-24 19:44 ID:WZQtb9H/

Seconding joining a club. Something unrelated to games, anime or nerd culture in general. I joined the caving society at my university and ended up meeting a Japanese gamer-girl who knew far more about otaku stuff than I did. I stopped caving after three months, but the girl and I have been together for 18 months and counting \o/.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-24 22:07 ID:xG9yzpFC

There's nothing wrong with being nerdy. Anyone who says otherwise is a communist. Or more likely a fratboy. And no one likes fratboys, because their only hobbies are Halo and drinking X-D

Being "macho" is a bit of a misnomer. What you want to do is sell yourself. When an attractive girl is around, make yourself stand out from the crowd.

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-24 23:20 ID:D3/cVeZK

Weeeelllll..... I'm not some big city lawyer, but I reckon that the original poster is some goddamn weeaboo wapanese Megatokyo fan. And that's jest fine in small doses on sundays. But if yer lookin' for a real live walking talking woman whose last name don't end in .jpg or .gif or even .bmp then you might want to consider some things. One of these days yer probably gonna grow out most of this stuff and realize that there is more to life. So try to cut down on the weird ass nerd crap. Plus this stuff ain't rocket science. Here is what you do. Relax...untighten that sphincter and talk to people. Don't try to force relationships or just "get dates". Just talk to people and stuff will happen. Live your life like normal, try new things, and dont' rush it. Most women(decent women) have Creep Radar. This Creep Radar is a biological protection against creeps, possibly like you, who only want to cause negative things to happen. This protects women from stalkers, abusers, date rapists, and jest plain weirdos. Most women don't give a hang how cool you are or think you are. If they like you they'll talk to you like normal and just go with it. That's the only thing.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-25 00:28 ID:yc7+PjMc

>>14 makes absolutely no sense.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-25 00:37 ID:zq76RBk+

If you want a girlfriend, just get out and live. Go places, talk to people! Go to a place where you can meet women with common interests, just get involved.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-25 02:49 ID:aV6mECh4

you gota get out there and starting talking to people. going to an all boy school sucks, i went to one too, it definatly cuts down on your interaction with girls. but sooner or later ur gonna have to get out of ur house and live. forgat about trying to find a girlfirend first make some friens

18 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-25 04:42 ID:OH9JcS3J

Thanks for some of the advice.

>>14 What you said about the creep radar absolutly makes sense. But it doesn't apply to me. I'm not a walking advertisement for anime. I talk about all sorts of stuff.

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-25 05:56 ID:4gWN0uZ4

Actually you are kind of creepy. If a girl likes you, she will tell you outright if she is serious. You seem like you might be a stalker or something. In your effort to sound cooler than you actually are you come across as someone who would be like super jealous and ultra possessive.

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20 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-25 06:04 ID:OH9JcS3J

I'm not a stalker. It's just that I have this situation of never having been on a date and being 22, getting desperate, and having a bad habit of overanalyzing things.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-25 10:47 ID:1wBhYKkG

calling her back is a tough one.... but i think you should go for it, cause what have u got to lose? well maybe your job....

i keep thinking after i buy stuff and the girl behind the counter is hot and about my age that i should have just casually asked "hey, so do u have any plans for tonight? i want to get to know you etc etc..." but it always slips my mind, and its not like i would have the balls to do it anyway lol

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-25 12:06 ID:pLlmc2tP

>>18

Read the forums for mmorpg addicton help. Don't know if it'll help you (I was never REALLY addicted to video games), but I hope it does.

23 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-26 01:27 ID:OH9JcS3J

Yeah I realized that it would come off as creepy calling her and didn't do it. I forgot about it. Anyways, I got $70 in spiffs today soo thats good :)

Too bad today is mardi gras and I'm not doing anything. I asked a few guys at work what their plans were. They said they were going to get drunk. I just don't know how to invite myself to things.

24 Name: Coffee Anon : 2006-02-26 04:44 ID:SWp2MJmB

Stop caring.

I know it's hard, but once you genuinely stop caring, you'll find a girl.
I stopped caring last year and began dating a model a few months later.

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25 Name: Coffee Anon : 2006-02-26 04:45 ID:SWp2MJmB

Oh, and don't tell them about the fact that you play games or like anime.

Although Star Wars is kind of accepted.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-26 06:21 ID:Heaven

>>24
They're called "mannequins", and it's usually only considered dating when they can actually talk. Not that you care.

27 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-26 06:31 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>24

I'm desperate enough where I will date any girl I find attractive no matter her personality at all. Funny thing is my feelings flow like the wind. At night I am desperate for a girl and then a lot of times in the day I could care less. I guess I just need to learn how to talk to people conversationally in general. Anyways, goodnight.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-26 15:33 ID:Heaven

>>26
nice zinger ( '-')b

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-26 20:41 ID:nZgovdXx

Mysteryman, despite your best efforts you seriously come across as extremely creepy. At least on this thread. You sound almost predatory and possessive. What the hell is wrong with you?

Here is everything you need to do:

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30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-27 00:22 ID:xG9yzpFC

>>29
Hi. You need to go to hell.

The same goes for everyone else who keeps using the word creepy or stalker. Dating and socialization are not inborn skills. There is no class in highschool which teachs you the proper way to socialize.

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31 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 00:31 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>29

And you come off as a person with anger management issues. You are the type of person that keeps the predjudice against anime and videogame fans active. And I don't give a shit how creepy my hobbies appear. Theoretically, your hobby of keeping birds as pets could creep me out. And while your waiting for me with a shotgun, I would be with your daughter calling the cops on you and laughing as you rotted in jail. Seriously, #29, you need help. I need a girlfriend in my life, and you need a shrink.

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32 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 00:33 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>30

Thanks for the constructive advice. I will look for friends. I am going to see if there is a club on campus that helps organize events. That seems like it might be fun.

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-27 01:35 ID:nZgovdXx

This thread rules

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-27 01:40 ID:nZgovdXx

Actually, >>29 is in the clear, Mysteryman because he is protecting his daughter. If you came to the guy's house and trying to do stuff to his daughter then calling the cops would probably work against you because that would be kidnapping by taking his daughter. Then you'd be in jail or something. I dunno.

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35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-27 02:40 ID:/Eooy2p1

clubs are good, and also the whole stop caring thing seems more difficult than it really is. The heart of Buddhism is really to "stop caring" and just see life for what it is. Finding a girl will not bring you the answer, just as addictions in your past did not bring you the answer. And religion probably won't solve anything either.

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36 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 02:43 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>34

Lol @kidnapping his daughter. I was under the impression 29 was referring to if I was dating his daughter. Which is why I mentioned the cops.

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37 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 02:48 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>35

The religious types might not like the idea of prostitution, but I would have no problem with it. I'm actually thinking of going to one of those Asian tanning salons again. Yeah I went once before. But I had 3 beers before I went in, got some older asian woman. She wasn't too bad looking just I couldn't get it up with her just giving me a handjob. I wanted more than that but I forgot to bring protection so we couldn't go there. My bro told me a lot of his friend while they won't admit it went the prostitution route. At least to get their feet wet so to speak.

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38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-27 04:11 ID:Heaven

>>35
@ Carleton?
>>37
Asian tanning salons exist in the USA too? I'm intrigued. However, it does seem odd that you couldn't get it up... Even more odd, that someone so introverted went to such a place. Maybe it was because you were nervous about going there.

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39 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 05:10 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>38

Naw doesn't sound harsh. I can picture how that could happen with giving phone number accidently.

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40 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 21:24 ID:OH9JcS3J

Today I gave in and visited a local Asian Massage Parlor. Complete waste of $160. This was 2nd time I have been to one of these. First was a few years ago and nothing happened down there for me because I had a few drinks before.

This time I had no drinks, and the lady there (must have been 40 and mildly attractive and Korean), took off all her clothes and we tried to go all the way. Once again I couldn't maintain an erection. I chalk it up to nerves. I was feeling very uncomfertable driving to a bad side of town to do this.

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41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-28 00:43 ID:Heaven

>>40
livejournal.com --->

42 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-28 01:00 ID:OH9JcS3J

Naw all the entries relate to my pathetic single existence, thus the reason for them being in this forum and not on livejournal.

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-28 02:36 ID:Heaven

I enjoy it being on a forum and not livejournal. I read the forum b/c it is relevant to my interests. livejournal is not relevant to my interests

44 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-28 06:12 ID:OH9JcS3J

Btw, I figured a good place to pick up women according to the advice of a friend is the bookstore. Sounds like it would work to me. Plus most of the time normal women hang at the bookstore and not slutty ones.

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-28 08:48 ID:/Eooy2p1

Sad to see the prostitution thing failed, but that at least proves that you are a decent guy. I would have nerves too and would probably have similar issues.

>>44 Are you well read? If not, get on it. Frequent reading makes you a better and smarter person. Try some Dostoyevski, and my personal favorite, Murakami Haruki, who kind of touches on the loneliness of being a 20 something in "Norweigan Wood."

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46 Name: MrShy : 2006-02-28 14:02 ID:4LsqjQO2

Wow, I pretty much went the same route.

To answer your question of why you never had a date and stuff:
The #1 reason is simply because supply and demand.

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47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-28 22:30 ID:Heaven

>#3 Wait for, buy a or build a fembot/chobit/persacom

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-01 02:43 ID:Heaven

lol #4 blows

49 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-03-01 06:43 ID:OH9JcS3J

Quick question its been a day or so. Why do I still feeled soo completely affected by the experience at the massage parlor? I'm not sure if it has depressed me or anything, but I missed a day of classes because of it.

Could it be because even though I lost my virginity to a prostitute, or i'm a little confused. Does it even count as loosing your virginity if you have to stimulate yourself without touching her to get off?

50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-01 08:33 ID:87JTiKRo

>>49

It's not losing your virginity until you stick it in the vagina.

51 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-03-01 18:05 ID:OH9JcS3J

Not a virgin anymore then. But I don't feel different at all.

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-01 20:40 ID:kkM6TGUA

What did you expect?

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-01 22:04 ID:xoaGwWnL

>>1
man, that must feel really shallow losing it to a prostitute. and well, of course you dont feel different, not like youre a girl. all theyre really doing is helping you masturbate, not like, uve just gotten a hole in your body enlarged, but, i suppose u got experience. classes eh? stil in college? how come uve never met anyone there? im sure theres probably dateable women

54 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-03-02 00:14 ID:TRtVfgv4

I just read yoru first post and the few last and you seem like a good guy. I know the problem you have, the solution is simple.
Also, there's nothing wrong with losing virginity. Even though I'm 21 and still virgin, I really couldn't care less when or who I lose it to. It doesn't matter. Before I thought sex is only for people who have a lasting relationship but I'm at a point when I realize that with the right mindset, you can control when you have sex or who you want to be with. I'm virgin because I thought it had a value, so i chose to keep it. That's what society makes you believe. Now I know that's not true.

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55 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-03-02 00:26 ID:TRtVfgv4

Btw, MrShy is right on with #1 but he's obviously never really tried them.
There's no need to go to Ukraine to have a higher women to men ratio.
Seriously it wouldn't matter if you were among 100 guys in a party with 10 girls (a usual sausagefest like the ones at college) you would still have high chances of getting laid with the girl of your choice.

56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-02 03:33 ID:Heaven

>>55
I dunno, unless you're in the top 10% as the most cutthroat, persuasive men, you might be doomed in that situation

57 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-02 10:22 ID:wfN1p37Z

>>I'm 22 and look good. Why have I never had a date/girlfriend?

probably that what you think and other saying you are good looking because they feel sorry for you...sorry dude, tough luck

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58 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-03-02 15:27 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>57

I'm obviously not spartacus lol. But I look good. With the right personality I should be able to grab most women.

59 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-03-03 02:32 ID:TRtVfgv4

>>56
As I said, try learning the techniques by ross jeffries. It involves subconscious training, behavior conditioning and hypnotic phrases. You might think you'd have to be superhuman to do these things, but it's just another learning curve. Anyone can do it.

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60 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-03 07:54 ID:Heaven

>>59 ok stop advertising that crap already

61 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-04 07:45 ID:QCQoPbzM

I'm actually in a similar situation to you, Mysteryman. I can't actually get a girlfriend if I try on my own; however, the difference is I have been in a few relationships, most of which were brought on by serendippity. Every girlfriend I've had have been brought on because I did stupid things like climb a tree and sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" (theatre majors at a Rennaisance Faire... go figure) and other sorts of craziness (yes, that is middle school through college). Why not try networking with friends and see if they can hook you up with someone? Or even network with friends to find someone you're interested in and then pursue them? That's worked for me twice.

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62 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-24 11:30 ID:K5r8HiY5

>>53
That applies to girl too, you know. The first time I had sex i didn't feel the slightest bit different. Nor any of the other times I was with that guy (boyfriend). Not that he wasn't good in bed, that he was. We even got off at the same time the first time I had sex, to my surprise, as I had kept hearing about how difficult such a feat is. The first time with my current boyfriend on the other hand.. Was awesome. He wasn't better technically, as he was a virgin, but because of all the emotions involved (and the way he was treating me) it felt very magical, and definitely felt as if "something" (good) had happened with me mentally.

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63 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-25 21:51 ID:zrXZJjMM

I really can't stand reading about this problem. It isn't a problem. You're just lazy.

You have one task. ONE task: talk to girls.

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64 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-25 21:51 ID:zrXZJjMM

I really can't stand reading about this problem. It isn't a problem. You're just lazy.

You have one task. ONE task: talk to girls.

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65 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-25 23:20 ID:Heaven

Or just find one girl who's really easy to talk to, grind conversation until it's trivial, and then move onto the next, right?

66 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-02 11:26 ID:UTa0VpRp

Don't waste your time with prostitutes, you'll just end up more depressed about your situation and you'll never really solve that which is really confounding you. Instead, join clubs, meet people, make friends and just have fun. If you meet enough people you WILL have an opportunity. Don't be so strictly concerned about getting a gf and just focus on making new friends and things will eventually swing your way.

67 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-02 12:11 ID:ztne50Ti

insecurity makes one concerned bout how others judge/see them.

68 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-03 04:36 ID:w4jEpWMp

>>65
lol, thanks for that

69 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-03 07:03 ID:5/cd3bIc

Insecurity blows. Sad to say, but not caring about the outcome is sometimes the only way to get the outcome that you want. Healthy confidence is knowing that even if you don't get what you want, nothing is changed. So get out there and try!

70 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-03 21:57 ID:ANpmUnBN

lol zomg, r u still here. just be a man, and talk to some girls, really, approach em, anything, if nothing happens, then, watever. and if u R as good looking as you say u are, then who knows, and girl might even feel lucky and think (omg, that guys talking to me), and start some convo, thats all

71 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-03 22:54 ID:jBAeOmdj

>>1

You look like a skin head and scary. Smile, look friendly, grow some hair on TOP of your head, and get rid of the stuble. Your eyes are super pretty and so are your lips, but the rest of your outter appearance is a bit scary.

72 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 00:44 ID:Yu+NyvYI

>>71

I told you all earlier that this asshole was a creep.

73 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 20:11 ID:Heaven

>>72

just because of his visual appearance?

74 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 21:43 ID:eVW8+KWy

>>73

No, because of the way he runs that cesspool of his he calls a mouth and also because of the creepy way he looks.

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75 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 22:08 ID:jBAeOmdj

>>73

I skimmed over some of the earlier posts, and I couldn't help but feel that guy was kind of strange myself. If I had known his prior history, I think I would have been a little hesistant to continue a serious relationship with him.

76 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 22:16 ID:eVW8+KWy

This thread sucks and the OP is officially a date rapist looking creep.

Let's talk about Disco instead.

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77 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 00:37 ID:Heaven

>>74
Spoiler: That's not him

78 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 03:55 ID:IzzWg78D

>>77

Plot Twist: I saw the original picture when this creep first posted.

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79 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 04:00 ID:Heaven

You think it's an improvement?

80 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 05:31 ID:QEm6JW/J

yeah...at least in the new picture he looks like a crazy stalker as opposed to a covert date rapist.

meaning you can pick him out easier.

81 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 05:47 ID:DSxyELyi

Wow this is a emo thread.
From what I have read, I don't see a reason why you have not gotten a girl. You go to school, I am quite sure girls go there. In >>7 you said you have friends who have girlfriends. Have you ever thought about asking them if they know any single girls? Girls know girls and girls always know single girls. However...

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82 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 15:56 ID:L4kk1lrE

>>76
I like the Bee Gees myself. I also like Evelyn King; "Shame" is my favorite song of hers. I would have loved to live in the seventies so that I could have experienced the disco movement firsthand. That would have won so hard.

83 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-14 03:09 ID:Heaven

>>80
If you think that guy looks creepy you'd probably think I'm a serial murder, rapist, puppy stomper, granny basher and a terrorist. I'm none of those. I do think he's looks pretty ugly though

84 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-02-13 01:23 ID:PFDJ7Lhy

i can't see your photo...
but if you say you are good looking, and your interests are anime, videogames, and Japan, maybe you should look for girls with same hobbies... it's easier for you because you two could talk about the same topics.

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85 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-02-14 08:38 ID:kadkIFZc

Honestly look at it from a girls POV. What do you have to offer a girl? You're failing classes, you have no friends, no interesting hobbies and you are now seeing prostitutes.

And you are forgetting that relationships are about giving and loving. You are only thinking of what a girlfriend can do for you. But you aren't all wrong, it seems you want more thans sex since you can't perform well with hookers.

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