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Sex (or lack thereof) in a relationship. (37)

18 Name: sage : 2006-05-16 13:48 ID:yl2E9k0B

>>14 >>16
You act as if no male has ever taken in in their pooper. Heard of a strap-on? Of course it hurts if someone just rams their dick in you, but why make it a straw man? No one is saying that women should service their partners at the men's behest, nor is anyone in this thread trying to get sex at every turn. Ffs, I wouldn't mind getting penetrated with a strap-on. I'm not entirely sure why you think it's a different tale if you are the penetrated, having been at the receiving end. Care to elaborate?
Are you implying that women never want sex, and that men are complete pigs for even suggesting that women submit to such a barbaric practice? That sex bear no pleasure for the ladyfolk? That sounds like an absurd line of reasoning estranged from reality.

>>A healthy relationship is two people getting along and knowing when to keep their damn hands to themselves.

Sure. Constant begging would be a terribly retarded thing to do. Which is why I'm not doing anything of the sort. However, when both keep their damn hands to themselves for an extended period of time, it leads to an unhealthy situation. A relationship without physical intimacy is a dying relationship. It's as simple as that.

>>Just because >>1 can't keep his dick from getting hard all the time is no reason for him to whine. Sex can be good, sex can be great but males don't always realize how much of an imposition it really can be.

Again, the issue is not getting laid every time I feel like it. The issue is a general lack of physical intimacy in general and sex in particular.


I'm a guy. Of course I jack off when I feel horny. That doesn't mean that I don't crave intimacy or that I don't want sex or that it's even remotely the same thing.

Physical intimacy doesn't mean sex, nor does sex mean intercourse. The bigger question is really that I don't feel wanted since she doesn't send any such signals. I've talked about this with her and there seems to be a disconnect. "Of course I want you! I peck you on the cheek, don't I?"

I assume you brought the subject up. How did it go?

That might work for some relationships. My ex liked that particular approach. Not a solution here though. When we started talking about the entire sex drive subject last summer that was actually her suggestion. "If you're so horny, why won't you just take me?". Any one with half a mind will find it obvious that it just won't work that way. Specifically, if she's not already in the mood such forceful behaviour will only cause aggravation.


>>After 4 years, she is your girlfriend, not your wife or fiancee. If she feels that your relation will never exceed the level of lovers, I can imagine that that works as a large blocking mechanism.

Cultural differences come to play here. In our locale this is not entirely unusual. None of our friends are married; some are engaged. We actually had the whole engagement discussion a while a go. She doesn't want to get engaged yet since I'm an atheist. Anyway, I'm certainly ready for it, but she isn't. It's conceivable yet unlikely that this would be the key: in all honesty, after almost three years of living together we are pretty much common-law married already so tying the knot wouldn't change anything.

As for the military service, I was certainly not putting any pressure on her at that time. My military service coincided with us moving together. It's only in retrospect that I've noticed that this was the period when things seriously started cooling off. It was a long time ago at any rate.

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