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how much should you change yourself for someone? (15)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-20 22:40 ID:RSmAhtWK

i know some people say you shouldnt change at all but realisticly noone can like a jobless guy who smells like rotten ogg and sratching his balls every 2 minutes. so how much should you change for the guy/girl of your dream? is fashion / job the limit? or will you go as far as to change religion and your way of life?

2 Name: Pms : 2006-05-20 22:47 ID:FyIHsaQ8

I think that if it's something like a bad habit or hurts your special someone, you should. My BF and myself are working on some of our problems(like being jealous or being too modest) that need to be looked at and fixed. I think self-improvement is ok, but changing your haircolor or your style or musical preference, thats not right.

3 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-05-20 23:02 ID:JWPkeZtl

Well, I believe that not every girl has conformed to societies standards. As a result, there may be girls who don't mind guys who smell bad or scratches his balls.

4 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-05-20 23:02 ID:JWPkeZtl

It'd just be really hard to find girls who don't mind a guy like that.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-21 00:41 ID:hhgJGi1A

>>3
>>4
I see what you did there.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-21 13:00 ID:/Vo5rthE

>>3
>>4
>>5

Entire post...

7 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-21 16:50 ID:P77gqYGu

I would usually say don't change at all...coz if they don't like you for the way you are, why bother? (but that is the macro-perspective).

I guess on minor things...probably can have some compromise.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-21 19:41 ID:Z8z4nq3V

If the person wants to change you, why are they with you to begin with? Bad habits are one thing, but changing who you are is not right.

You should strive to make yourself a better person, not become another person.

9 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-05-21 22:53 ID:fe//FYnm

Change as much as possible if the change benefits the couple!
Change keeps things dynamic in the couple and prevents desire to fade. Be verbal with what you are changing for that person's sake, and ask you partner for changes as well! The more supportive and willing the successful changes, the better it gets. Don't force tho. If you or the other are not willing, then it's futile. (this applies to both sex and non-sex related.)

10 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-22 06:29 ID:CX7gDapS

Agreed, agreed nods nods

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-22 08:02 ID:EZhB1xaE

go as far as you're willing to. if you go too far...well, live and learn. you'll learn about your limits when you get there

12 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-22 08:08 ID:CX7gDapS

what if he didn't know a limit...or is one of those guys that would change whenever asked?!

13 Name: holdincourt : 2006-05-22 08:21 ID:CX7gDapS

worse...what if he's already changed now and regretting it and asking us now?! IT'S ALL TOO LATE!!

spirals

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-22 11:34 ID:Heaven

You should strive to make yourself a better person, not become another person.

15 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-05-22 17:44 ID:Heaven

You will BECOME another person in the process and there's nothing wrong with that.