Right, I've searched all threads here, and this topic doesn't yet seem to have come up. I think it really fits here though.
The thing is, as you can guess from the title, that I wonder how to get a date. First of all, I'm interested to hear what actually makes a date, because you might actually meet up with somebody without any amourous hopes, or at least not high hopes/expectations. Secondly, when people say, just ask her, that sounds ok, but very impracticable. After all, and I think I also speak for some others here on this board, I don't actually have that much contact with girls.
It's a date when both partners think it's a date. It doesn't happen to be specifically called a "date." My girlfriend and I went on three dates before either of us actually used that word. So you didn't think you were on a date, and odds are that the girls didn't either (seeing as how there were two of them), so it wasn't a date. But anyway, that's all just technicalities you really shouldn't worry about.
Well.. first make friendship "work." If all goes well, she will probably give you some hints whether she likes you or not. Wait until the appropriate time comes (very important, not anytime, but the appropriate time), then ask her out.
A date, in my dictionary, means enjoying someone elses company in an effort to strengthen the relationship between the two partners. In fact to call it a date will create unecessary pressure, so its a term best avoided.
Thanks, nr >>4, I like that definition. I agree that it is best to leave in the open if you have a date, at least when you're not so close yet. Anyway, I live in a city with a guy/girl ratio which is positively skewed and I have plenty opportunity to meet girls in my life (which I do)
Just a bit of (off-topic) advice that's been repeated on /love/ a few times:
For your first date, you shouldn't go to the movies/other non-interactive experience if you can do something that is interactive and involves conversation. Personally, I'd go for lunch, picnic, shopping trip, whatever; anything that allows you do get to know her better. Depending on your relationship with that person previously, this could indicate to her your seriousness and ability to socialise, and find overlapping interests.
Be honest with yourself about why you want a relationship. Many people say sex, money, marriage, etc. but those come from even deeper drives, such as spiritual, emotional, health/fitness, creative or even a desire to travel and experience other cultures. Above all, try to read non-verbal cues, they usually don't lie
No offense, but no matter what you do, at the end of the day, it does boil down to "just ask her"... I understand it's a special kind of hell if you're shy, etc, but you will eventually overcome this. I was there Myself, a long time ago.
That is good in some areas of your life, but that is tactless and doesn't show a woman that she's special, appreciated, etc. A romantic connection takes creativity not coercion.
I agree with what's been said here, "just ask her".
Yes, I know it's not easy to do this if you're inexperienced.
Agreed. Even if you don't get the chick, speaking your mind can help release some build-up.
Ok thanks guys, these tips actually did help. I'll try to get going on. I doubt I will be pantydiving anytime soon, or ever, but I'll keep it in mind!
Demian. You epitomize the essence of the lonely people in this board. I wouldn't call you loser, but rather, 'unaware', 'irrational', and 'highly emotional'.
>Secondly, when people say, just ask her, that sounds ok, but very impracticable.