Okay, so hear's the deal. I just got a girlfriend and she's really awesome. She's cool with all my interests, Anime, manga, games, and stuff like that. She's also really cute, a good person, and we share a few interests. But my friends are starting to get irritated because I've started to spend less and less time with them.
What should I do?!
Spend more time with your girlfriend. Who needs friends if you have a girlfriend?
BROS BEFORE HOES
Does she have any single friends? Try hooking up your friends you've left behind to be dating, they'll probably like that. Budget your time wisely, most of it with her, but there has to be "guys night out" events too when she doesn't have time to be with you....
It's easy to forget about your friends in favor of your girlfriend. It's also easy to forget about your girlfriend in favor of your friends. It's your responsibility to moderate your time with everyone, otherwise you'll end up losing one or the other. It's worse to lose friends than a girlfriend, though.
Well, if you new girlfriend is cool with your interests...why can't she be cool with your friends? Bring her along to meet them (not all the time or on every excursion, just once in a while)...and if you want to spend time with your friends, just explain to her...she's an understanding person, right? (hopefully)
Yeah she's understanding. She already knows my friends and she suports me hanging out with them, but my friends are just getting mad because I'm with her more lately. Oh well I think things will get better soon.
yep. I can imagine. must plan out better when you meet your friends, which is part of growing up. However, it'll feel weird because you lose that little bit of freedom of when to meet and what to do whenever you feel like it. Still, if you wanna be efficient in life, this is the way you'd have to go anyway.
i can understand, being, a friend of a guy who has a girlfriend. thing is, well heres the story, my example. guy gets girlfriend, guy dissappears for a year, we never ever saw him during that period. gone. then one day, sees us playing, and stuff, we get him into it too, girlfriend gets pissed, gets all emotional, guy goes to girlfriend, then eventually, equalization happened and ehre i am today. just, dont let her eat up all your time. if she DOES, then, even if your friends werent getting pissed at you, its still unhealthy to be spending ALL your time with your girlfriend, ALL the time. but thats just imo
NEVER introduce your girl to your friends.
She's not as important as your guy friends, so try taking her out on dates for now instead of being up in each other's business all the time.
If a girlfriend can destroy a year long friendship, then the friendship wasn't anything worthwhile to begin with.
Dude don't worry about it. If they are good friends they will understand. Theres no way that there is NO time to spend with your friends just try and spend some time with them too like once a week or something.
I had a friend whom I had known for 15yrs. 2yrs ago he got married. Well, we still keep in contact, go out for dinner and still best of friends.
Point is, if a friendship doesn't stand up to a simple thing like a girlfriend (regardless) its not strong at all.
What others are saying is true, if your friendship is in jeopardy just because you have a girlfriend, maybe they weren't true friends to begin with. But if they are true friends, then don't make the mistake of choosing her over them. Bros before hoes and all that.
Well you see all through the time we spent togther he was "testing" me. The last one I can remember is him taking out an artbook of naked neko-mimi maids and he apparently wanted me to grab it out of his hands, and flip through it in front of my girlfriend. -_-
I want an artbook of naked neko-mimi maids. Where can I get an artbook featuring mainly naked neko-mimi maids?
He got it at a book store...
Unless you're getting married .. just remember .. bitches come and go ... but your bros won't leave you. unless you fuckin ditch em and dissappear with that bitch. seriously. if you ditch your friends now ... once you break up .. you're fucked.
>>19 You know why girls come and go for you? It's because you treat them like "bitches" as you say. I'm not going to ditch my friends either.
I have a feeling this girl and I will be together a long time.
bros before hoes man
you lose your friends, and you'll have no social support if you guys break up. she'll still have her girl friends, but you'll be truely alone
I'm a girl, and I hafta agree, with everyone else, that friends come before the girl. Friends last forever(ideally), while boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are pretty volatile and can blow up at any minute. lol, well, at least from my experience.
I've been spending a lot of time with my friends, and my girlfriend now, so I think everything will be alright. Also, I am very surprised to what is happening, I'm getting a life!
My friends didn't last forever, but neither did my girlfriend.
In fact my girlfriend ended up being a friend, and then I lost her.
Friendship is like flowers, u have to keep it watered to keep it alive.
You cant just stop talking to them, and then expect them to still be friends with u, u have to nurish the friendship and keep it alive, or it shall wither away and die.
Dude your friends are being a pain in the ass, just tell them that you'll try your best to make time for them. They have to grow up and stop being so needy. Try going out with your friends and your girlfriend, let them get to know each other.
Most of my friends are married or in long term relationships but now I have more friends because of the addition of wives and girlfriends into the group and I obviously understand that they need time to themselves. Actually I think I'm the only single person in my group of friends being an ubernerdy otaku incognito :-)
>>27 I met my girlfriend through my friends, they know who she is. I've also gone places with my friends and girlfriend together.
27 here again.
I don't mean to be offensive to your friends but they are being unreasonable if that is the case. I know you were looking for advice on this matter on how to please your friends and it doesn't really help when I make obsertvations like this but all you can do is talk to them about it. It's not like you are totally abandoning them is it. Ask them to look at it from your perspective and explain to them that your relationship with this girl is only beginning so you need time to get to know each other but that they are still an important part of your life.
>>29 Wow, that really helps. Thanks a lot man, I'll try that.
No problem. ttyl
I know this is kind of late, but I felt like I had to post something on this.
Most of the friends I've lost have been due to them getting a girlfriend. You got to understand that it's not that we hate the girl; in fact, I've become close friends with the girlfriend while losing the friend on more than one occasion. Getting a girlfriend changes some guys dramatically. They can go from being understanding and relatively nice friends to being complete assholes who make frequent ad hominem attacks to their former friends for little reason, and they think that it is no big deal. Usually they do it in front of their girlfriend.. a "lift me up by bring you down" sort of deal.
Wow, your friends must be whipped. Many of my friends have girlfriends, yet they still find time away from their girlfriends and to hangout. And if they ever behave like complete assholes to make themselves look tough in front of their girlfriends, I know I would make sure that they can back up what they say, if you catch my drift.
Friendship must be "Watered" with u talking and making appearences with them. they arent going to be your friend if u arent being friends with them. the one thing i hate about couples that are friends is that... they only want to be your friend when the other one is away. and then once the other half comes back, u dont hear from then again. -_- its like, we arent your entertainment or crutch that u can come back and forth from. i seen it happen and my friends and i are getting pretty tired of it. When our friend that comes back (is a girl), she talks about how she misses us, yet shes the one that never calls us or anything, and then starts crying about how we dont talk to her and shes really lonely... gosh its like, its your own doing being with this guy. theirs more to this story, but i dont think its needed right now. =P
>>34 I've noticed you like flower refrences
But don't worry guys I just got back from hanging out with my friends for 2 days and I'm off to go see my girlfriend now. I'm not ditching them in anyway or treating them badly.
If you've made (or, in the future, if you make) time with both your friends and your girlfriend, everything should go together rather smoothly.
Definitely make time for your friends. They've known you for longer, and have supported you through your ups and downs. If you decide to break up with your gf, you can always count on your friends. However, if you've evidently rejected them for your gf, don't expect any sympathy. In the same token, make sure you hang out with your girl, let her know that you're interested. Perhaps, if your friends knew your gf, or were on friends terms with her, things would be easier. What more can I say, relationships are time consuming.
My friends have known my girlfriend longer then they've known me.
Tell them to STFU and screw each other if they can't get a girlfriend
POOR JEALOUS BASTARDS
Man your friends will last FOREVER, your nice new g/f will last some years at best, until you are both fed up with the relationship and/or she goes fucking someone else, which is what usually happens. Remember even if you marry her, your love will fade and then it will be a shittier life than when you where single if you lost all your friends in the process!!
>>42 Love dosn't always fade, people have stayed together their whole lives before.
Bros before hos, man. Always.
d00d i read 42 and 45 and thought i wrote it ... well i guess i did write the exact same thing in a post a dozen or so posts back .. just like every 3 posts you get the same message ... simply "bros before hos." .. i think it's quite obvious what the message is ... what is the average divoce / break up rate? prolly like 60%+ relationships end in a break up .. prolly 70+ .. but chances are relationships with homies aren't like that ... you know what i mean?
I LOVE HER, and I'm not abandoning them how many times do I have to say this. -_-
BORES > HEOS, MAN!
its harder to find good bros then to find some hoe. if u hang out with the girl so much, u would wnat to hang out with your friends, but would they still be there for u later down the line? gotta keep "watering" the friendship so it wont dimminish away.