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How do I reject my "nice and funny guy but not a potential BF" - status? (59)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-23 09:18 ID:eF5HImL1

Because just every female I meet are looking me that way, its driving me crazy, but it seems that I can't do anything about it. Its my personality, and I find it shit to act like someone who you don't want to be and stuff. I know, everyone's saying that "be yourself"-stuff, but what can ya do if your personality just isn't worth shit?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-23 10:32 ID:BNvIUd7c

You don't.

There's nothing like the movies with buying a leather jacket and suddenly talking cool. Sorry, that's just how life is. Once they expect it from you, which they prolly do from your dress, you're fucked.

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-23 12:02 ID:Kkebth2A

Try to take a break from attempting to get a girlfriend...perhaps you're just trying too hard which makes girls think you're desperate. It would also be better if you wrote more details, do you lack self-confidence or do you feel that you don't look good enough?

4 Name: holdincourt : 2006-07-24 04:51 ID:eJveHX4h

Totally know what you are facing there, OP.

5 Name: Haruhi : 2006-07-24 05:22 ID:9VHoYJHv

Maybe you just need to buff up your appearance? Get a new wardrobe, maybe?

See, girls are really shallow. I know this for a fact, considering I'm a girl and girls have this sort of girls only cult where we discuss the types of guys we like...whether we wanna admit it or not.XD See, to catch a girl's interest, you need appeal. To keep a girl's interest, you need a good personality. You already have the latter, but it seems that guys who complain about how they can't attract women because they're always brushed off as "funny and nice, but not boyfriend material" usually lack appeal. You know "love at first sight"? That's not love. That's one of the base instincts of human nature saying "Oooh, pretty human, me mate with human! Ooga!".

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6 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-07-24 06:48 ID:gCantpaJ

It depends, Haruhi. Girls might be shallow, but what they see in men what they want to perceive.
You know, I once was uninteresting as well, nerdy looking and shy. My current being is now complimented left and right as "hot", although I humbly decline this. I don't consider myself good looking. To come all this way, I had to make a conscious effort to be attractive. Yes, I do watch my appearance, which is part of the first impression, but I also went into deep introspection of how to lure women. All women fall for men that discreetly hints being the one person that woman is waiting for. You learn what she expects from her ideal relationship and then you portrait yourself as being her ideal man without being pretentious or blatant. Be insistent about her liking you without openly giving away that you want her. Sometimes use innuendos, but never openly reveal your feelings. All women eventually melt. My advice is that; make a conscious effort to talk your way into women, and practice in front of the mirror. The more effort and dedication you put into it, the better you get.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-24 09:05 ID:w0a2BdLU

> There is no man that can't get any woman. Any man can get any woman.

That sounds too idealistic. :P
I have the same problem as the OP. There's this girl. We used to hang out in a group of 4 (her, me and two other guys) but it seems that she prefers to stay only friends with us... or maybe she have a preference on one of the other guys.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-24 12:48 ID:whJHhn/n

Learn to stand up for yourself and take the consequences. Women don't want to have a weak wuss as partner.

Sorry to sound harsh, but that's how it is. You should rather lose your current job and break up with your father than getting humiliated and having no self esteem and self respect.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-24 12:51 ID:Heaven

>how do I get charisma and self confidence?

if videogames have taught me anything? grind it.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-24 17:36 ID:Heaven

>>7 You aren't patetic, only a bit geeky. If you like to program and make AMVs simply do it, make the things that make you happy don't what the people tell you.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-24 18:41 ID:Heaven


12 Name: Haruhi : 2006-07-24 20:40 ID:ULFYbZ+0


I recently got into making AMVs myself, actually. Don't be afraid to show off your skills! Make some kickass program, or make a really awesome AMV, and then show it off to anyone who shows a remote interest. I practically drag people into watching/reading/looking at stuff I've made, with a good amount of success. Sure, there are a lot of girls who wouldn't be interested in that stuff, and those are the girls you've been talking to, it seems. You just need to fish out the right girls to show off to.^_^ I'm personally jealous of anyone who can program...I tried it, and I suck.;.; I nearly broke a computer at my high school at least twice every day a couple years back trying to fix this stupid Java memory game that I was working on for half the school year. Never got the stupid thing to work. (mutters curses under breath)

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13 Name: 電気男 : 2006-07-25 04:07 ID:iZ03H88P

What many of us nerd/geeky folk have going for us is being nice people. The problem is that most women out there are looking for the well balanced men, but can never resist that bad boy jerk complex. This isn't because they like men to be mean to them (although I've found women kind of like it when you poke fun at them), they like how confident these jock/jerk types are. If you can balance being confident and nerdy, then you shouldn't really have a problem and are probably talking to the wrong women.

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-25 05:02 ID:UptUfKyl

First of all, you need to be an asshole. So, to that end be yourself. Be rude, use racial epithets, decry and detract for your enemies. If you don't have enemies, then MAKE some. POWERFUL ENEMIES. Dress very antisocially. Don't dress up, SCREW THAT NOISE, JACK! I will never dress up for a girl. I'll dress up if I feel like it. Also piss off some women, openly state that you like the wear their breasts look. Openly show your disgust for most women.

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15 Name: Haruhi : 2006-07-25 05:22 ID:ULFYbZ+0


You scare me.o.o;; I could say a lot of things, but...well, I'll start with this...I don't mind a cheap resturaunt, but McDonald's hardly counts as fine dining...or dining at all. Just a mere sniff of that place'll give you cancer for life.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-25 06:55 ID:gq8Xtrq4


Hey man.... I get sick of that puppet bullshit. Puppet of Big Oil, Puppet of Haliburton. I don't care about politics, just money. I had no problem being a Private Contractor over in Iraq and I am not ashamed of my Hotaru Real Doll. She's more of a lady than any human girl I've ever met.

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17 Name: Haruhi : 2006-07-25 07:04 ID:ULFYbZ+0


I find the lack of respect you have for women rather disturbing. I mean, you say women are nothing more than toys, and then advocate extremist women? Most militant feminists of the latter type would have your head for the former comment. Maybe it's good that you've got your doll, because any remotely sane-minded lady would avoid any guy who thinks of women as mere "breeding machines".

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18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-25 07:26 ID:gq8Xtrq4

Feminists? They aren't feminists. They are ladies.

There is a difference between girls and ladies.

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-25 08:56 ID:tQ3pkP8Y

This is what I heard from the internet: "Girls go out with jerks, because they find confidence is an attractive quality."
Biggest truth ever.

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20 Name: Polaris. : 2006-07-26 04:09 ID:dvhBwJs0


>Feminists? They aren't feminists. They're women.
>There's a difference between girls and women.
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21 Name: Haruhi : 2006-07-26 05:35 ID:GyV9lCxg


There's a difference between having confidence and being a jerk. In fact, most jerks don't have confidence, and that's the reason why they're jerks. They hide their lack of confidence by pretending they're better than everyone else, when they're really the scum of the earth.<3

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-26 06:07 ID:Heaven

There are certainly smart girls that know better, but it seems the world never runs out of girls who fall for the assholes, and everyone around them wonders why the hell she ever liked him. This girl that is a manager at my old workplace is with an asshole. He is cheating on her right now with a crackhead, but she won't leave him because they had a baby together and she's afraid he'll get visitation and hurt the baby while he's high on that stuff, which is why he beat her that ~one~ time. She said she's breaking up with him, but apparently she's said that plenty of times. I can see that she's afraid for her baby, but she's not doing anything about it! Go to a lawyer and find out how to keep him from seeing the baby? Nope.

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23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-26 08:15 ID:J1YBfJhY

I'm not just looking for sex, I want a stable and meaningful relationship. Something with mutual love... a thing that's hard to achieve nowadays. :(

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-26 08:28 ID:J1YBfJhY

> There are guys out there that don't do drugs and will never hit you or cuss you out!

Yes, but it seems like girls aren't interested in them.

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25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-26 09:07 ID:hVxehSZu

Here's a simple answer: go find other girls. Girls that know nothing about you. It's the only way to make a clean start; to shake any "image" that you've picked up amongst those who know (of) you. This will necessarily involve leaving the house. Be impulsive, see what happens. I'll say it again: be impulsive. You're on a mission, so don't hesitate. Do your best to have no expectations whatsoever when you go up to a new girl. Doing so will prevent you from a) looking desperate (girls can smell it) and b) making a fool of yourself by (a). You'll also appear to be confident (which girls can also smell). Girls like confidence. What's the worst that can happen? She says no? OH NOES. You had absolutely nothing invested in her because you went in with no expectations (right? Right? Didn't you?). You'll probably never see her again, so who gives a fuck. On to the next one!

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-26 09:10 ID:Heaven

What's wrong with taking drugs? Oh, I forgot. Anyone taking drugs is a psycopathic demon in hibernation, ready to go on a murder rampage during their next "hell trip". I'm so sorry.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-26 14:40 ID:Tivhgb42

Yes, everyone here needs to read Ayn Rand.

I'm not saying every feminist is fat manless and hairy legged. But the VAST MAJORITY are.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-26 16:20 ID:hVxehSZu

Linkage to this "Hotaru doll" please. What is it, a Japanese Realdoll or something?

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-27 00:07 ID:4DA+UTFU

My Hotaru doll is a CUSTOM Realdoll I ordered for myself after coming back from Iraq. I was going to buy a Barrett M82 .50 but decided that I loved Hotaru so much that I needed a Hotaru Realdoll. It cost me 8,000 but she has just the right shade of pale complexion, Violet eyes, and black pageboy hair.

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30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-27 02:43 ID:Heaven

You're getting up to an acceptable level. You still have a lot to learn but this is pretty good.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-27 02:53 ID:vODCaIYa

>>26 Her boyfriend is doing cocaine and meth and stuff. Yes, people who do those drugs are quite psychopathic at times.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-27 05:02 ID:GPpgRamM

>I'm not just looking for sex, I want a stable and meaningful relationship. Something with mutual love... a thing that's hard to achieve nowadays. :(

Ah, I am quite sure there are girls looking for the exact same thing. You ever try going to church, there are nice girls at churh. You got to go to nice places to find nice girls.

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-27 08:35 ID:V3ZaJAlU

> You ever try going to church, there are nice girls at churh.

My aunt suggested the exact same thing. But how do you accost a girl in a church? Besides, I know some of the girls who go to the local church and I'm quite positive that I'm not the type they're looking for...

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-28 02:56 ID:LLFsx+dH

My mom tries to persuade me to go to church by telling me about all the cute girls there. Doesn't something seem wrong about that?

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-28 03:00 ID:Heaven

The way to a man's heart goes through his penis.

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-28 18:19 ID:uUMIvUGF

>>34 She thinks your gay.

37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-28 21:16 ID:rim6Jk38


hahaha oh god i remember that thread

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-28 21:17 ID:rim6Jk38


don't do it. she just wants to brainwash you into christianity by both pairing you with christian girls and getting you to attend church

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-29 07:01 ID:eF5HImL1

I enjoy this thread.

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-29 11:56 ID:lR17usjy

confidence coupled with humour is the biggest win.

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-29 13:18 ID:Heaven


ofcourse, but the million dollar question is, how do I get it?

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-29 16:30 ID:NoxFCskq

Lots of jerking off.

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-30 07:29 ID:eb6IVk5k

Get to know lots of children.

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-30 10:52 ID:lR17usjy

humour/wit is generally something you're born with. so if you don't have it, maybe you could go for the Strong and Silent type. lol.

confidence is easier to achieve. >>43 said it.

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-01 00:51 ID:BLF04Tgf

How do you pull off Strong and Silent without being a total bore?

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-01 12:30 ID:Heaven

see the "girls who fart" thread for more info on strong and silent ones

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-01 13:08 ID:1hT36+ED

i lol'd.


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48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-07 05:17 ID:FbgmGp+D

"Nice and funny" = they're putting up with you because they feel sorry for you.

You have much to learn about the ways of female creatures.

49 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-11 11:05 ID:BtnHPLe/

Hay there Hotaru guy!

50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-11 14:20 ID:uFDbm3Cn

>>1 fuck men you dipshit

51 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-11 18:52 ID:paq6scz1


>I am no breeding machine, I have no urge to have children
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52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-11 21:30 ID:nKZTBPOL

i think you become "just friends" if you were talking and acting as if your "one of the friends" (in actuality you were prolly trying to get close to her). once in the "just friends" area your pretty much ****** unless under certain circumstances.
strong & silent and nice & fun personality is all attractive and all, but if you keep pursuing that person like a friend then expect no more then becoming friends (unless she initially had strong interests in you). pursuit her from the beginning as a girlfriend; initially you want to become friendly (but don't prolong it then necessary) to become comfortable talking about other sh*t besides preliminary bullocks (such as "what class are you taking," "you have any siblings," ...f**k "whats your favorite color," and etc). then try to get her to do something with you besides where you guys usually meet, and from here on one can really advise you on how to act...possibly suggestions on where to take her or what activity...but thats about it. haste makes waste, however apples eventually rot (no idea where i'm going with this sentence).

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-11 22:03 ID:nKZTBPOL

to gain confidence is to put yourself in shitty positions. try doing something that usually involves one or two more people outside one day (sure you look like a loser, but once it becomes comfortable some how your confidences boosts up) like shopping or something. i don't know how this works...but constantly putting yourself in control boosts confidence (in a group it usually ends up in a collaboration or the strongest one taking the lead)

54 Name: FUCK FUCK : 2007-04-11 23:31 ID:LfXlnpPJ


55 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-12 16:46 ID:opBeR/SD

Dear >>20,

the fucking fuck does '=\=' mean?

56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-13 08:49 ID:jDlHyAA3



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57 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-13 09:57 ID:Heaven


you know that's exactly the kind of bigoted statement i'd expect from the individual with no will of their own that you describe. protip: fundamentalist athiests are just as fucking annoying as fundamentalist anything elses; and plenty of nice, reasonable and rational people go to various churches for reasons of their own.

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58 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-13 18:35 ID:q+xCp4Fc

Lol. Watch 40 Year old Virgin and a couple other teen movies.

59 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-14 21:18 ID:Heaven

I don't really belive in anything, but I like being in churches. It's kind of soothing. Plus, I love the architecture. And I totally agree with you. Some atheist are in fact even worse than most of the people who regularly go to churches, temples or whatever.