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Never had a serious relationship. How does a friend become a girlfriend? (23)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-23 02:07 ID:ruh4o2bP

Let me give you some background. After 18 years, I have finally met a girl who has become a close friend. Neither she nor I have ever been in a relationship. Both of us are insanely shy. Right now, we are great friends and we understand each other, and I think it's fantastic. But the thing is, insofar as "ladders" exist we are both on each other's friend ladders. I am pretty sure that she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, so I have to half-heartedly go looking around with my other acquaintances.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-23 03:55 ID:Heaven

Well if you are in the friendzone, you are basically out of luck.

I got a girlfriend because within weeks of meeting her I asked her out. Then we went on first date, then the second, then third, and so on. I want to say about 2 months of dating I was with her and we met one of her friends and she introduced me as her boyfriend and I guess that is how I knew I had a girlfriend.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-23 04:27 ID:Heaven

Maybe if you two hang out alone together more often, it'll help.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-23 09:15 ID:Heaven

do you chat together online? have a few drinks (only works if you're both drinking, and don't get slaughtered, just take the edge off each other's inhibitions) and get a bit flirty and naughty. (disregard this if you're in a backwards country where 18 isn't the legal drinking age...) if you can't get her thinking about you sexually/romantically with a bit of bottled courage, you're basically shit outta luck. no drama, move on, try again with someone else.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-23 10:05 ID:BrVShpA8

>>1 I think it comes down to finding someone else who wants the same things out of a relationship. People are at all different stages in their lives, and they all want different things. If the girl isn't wanting the kind of relationship you want, you are sunk. Move on, it isn't worth the heartbreak.

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6 Name: 1 : 2006-10-23 15:33 ID:Heaven

Thanks for your advice, everyone. I wish I could meet more people who want to be in a relationship with me, it would probably make things easier. But I'll make do with what I have and be more outgoing.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-24 01:34 ID:Heaven


I would avoid the alcohol or at least large amounts. That may lead to date rape which is never good. Plus alcohol affects judgement and she may do something she will regret in the future.

8 Name: jack_of_spades : 2006-10-28 09:39 ID:mKOzj/PR


to be a couple... youve got to love each other, which means the both of you are qualified! But of course thats not really the "love" you're looking for in a relationship. If you want to make this friend your girlfriend... you've got to love her more than a friend.

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-28 14:41 ID:Heaven


having a few drinks with someone doesn't mean getting absolutely shit-faced. if someone can't tell the two apart, they have bigger problems than seducing their friend.

10 Name: 7 : 2006-10-28 23:18 ID:Heaven

I am worried he will become desperate and do something stupid.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-10-29 02:50 ID:Heaven

it's not your business to worry; it's his own life and he needs to take some responsibility. if he can't do that, it's no failing on your part, and not your fault.

12 Name: 1 : 2006-10-31 01:39 ID:Heaven

Are you guys talking about me? Thanks for your concern, 7. I actually have considered doing that, because recently I am absolutely starving for sex. But I do have some sense of morality; I don't think I would ever carry out that sort of plan.

13 Name: 9 : 2007-07-31 00:18 ID:Ch3usWBW

The way I look at it if you get put in the "friend zone"there has to be a way out of it If you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything,If you can get in the friend Zone then you can get out of it.

14 Name: 10 : 2007-07-31 00:23 ID:Ch3usWBW

I'm afraid it doesn't quite work that way #9,whoever told you that if you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything left out one sentence.If you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything IF IT HAS POTENTIAL.So do you think that if you put your mind to bringing back the dead that you can actually do it?well once you're put in the "friend zone"getting out of it is like trying to get back into a plane after you jump out or taking a model airplane apart after the glue set up and dried,sorry pal you're dead in the water.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-31 04:11 ID:+LQNM7yj

> How did it start?

We had been good friends for maybe a month when I just said "I like you" and asked her out. It worked.

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16 Post deleted by moderator.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-01 03:18 ID:USI0HVbl

My boyfriend and I started out as friends. Spend alot of time with her, after a bit, just tell her you like her.

Only tell her that when you're really close friends though. Otherwise it might end up kinda weird. :/

18 Post deleted by moderator.

19 Name: HELP!8NBuQ4l6uQ : 2008-10-03 04:36 ID:UE/fRKfq

okay I have a problem. Ive known this girl for a couple years now and I am begining to like her again. When we first met she liked me after a month of hanging out but she had a boy friend. Time went by and eventually things got out that she liked me. Alot of drama happened and she eventually dumped her b/f. She told me they were plannin to. A month goes by and nuthin happens between us at all and she ends up goin out with this other guy so we stop talking. Then two months go by and then she texts me out of no where. A week later she dumps her b/f. WE start hangin like we used to and again later on in the year she goes off and is with another guy. Then once again she texts me randomly a week before she breaks up with him. So I know when shes gunna break up with some one now haha. I ignored her after this though and we didn't talk the whole summer. I then see here at a party this year and we start talking. This time she texts me and calls me alot more than before and always asks to hang out, go to parties etc. I dont know if while I have these moments I should try things or is this just another cycle of our "close" friendship. I havent like her thorugh out those other two times but now for some reason I feel the same way I did when I first met her.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-03 20:37 ID:npJn4To7

Okay so here is the story of how I got my first girlfriend.

I was going to Spanish class and there was this insanely cute girl and I knew her sister who was a retard, and I joked once that she doesn't seem as retarded as her sister. She run away crying and never talked to me again. I was sitting next to some fairly average girl out of chance, and she told me I should apologize because she thinks we match with that girl.

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21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-03 21:36 ID:7MbrBbPL

Just push her out and be evasive. It might stop everything if she's not interested at all (in which case you save yourself some stress and drama), or it might just make her want you. Looks like this kind of girl.

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22 Name: fartman : 2008-10-06 20:52 ID:ycjXjFUO

you should masturbate to that girl, right in front of her.

23 Name: iRawr : 2008-11-17 01:31 ID:bAXBYKUp