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Problems with the quiet and shy type (23)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-22 00:04 ID:hb2NWNWy

Hey guys.

Just looking for a bit of advice. There's a Vietnamese girl at my college who I've known for about 3 months now. She's cute and sweet, but I have no idea on how or when to tell her how I feel about her.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-22 01:58 ID:ByrAX4Jv

Go sit with her. That's a prime time to go and get closer to her. If she enjoys silence then just don't worry about it and be silent too! But I would really recommend just going ahead and revealing your feelings for her right away!! Try saying something like "I want to get to know you better and I'm really in love with you etc. etc." I would imagine if she is this type there is a good chance that she really likes you as well but is just too afraid to say anything to you! Try and work up the courage to do it as soon as possible. Remember, the quicker you get it over with the less time you have to make a fool of yourself beforehand right? Be sure to keep us updated.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-22 05:29 ID:m3t9W6hf

>"I want to get to know you better and I'm really in love with you etc. etc."

First part is awesome, second part is crap. Don't tell her you love her because you don't really know her. But saying "I want to get to know you better" is perfect way to ask her out.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-23 00:18 ID:AVzyQ1wf

> "Don't tell her you love her because you don't really know her."

No worres, wasn't planning on "declaring my outright love" for her anyway. One thing I've learned is to never throw the phrase "I love you" around too lightly.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-23 07:08 ID:ZMoSWn7Z

>>4 If she's a bit quiet then the movies will be great to start with, you don't have to speak much, but you do get to sit in the dark together and giggle together. Try and get food after though if it went well, because the movies won't get you to know her much better in my experience.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-23 12:13 ID:Heaven

>>5
plus, if you see a movie before dinner you have something to talk about while you eat. even if the movie was totally shit you can laugh about how crap it was (in fact, seeing bad movies is arguably an advantage here because you can make fun of it which gets her and you laughing...)

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-23 12:58 ID:Y4fyD/Bu

>>6 Also true. Scary movies can be fun if she's the type that gets all cute and curls up...aaah... But nothing too over the top. Think suspense not gore. Comedy is always good, anything is good really...

8 Name: TEENAGER : 2006-11-23 14:35 ID:KcFFec0u

I myself would go to the Borat movie with her.
Just for the shock value. To rock her mind.

Also, watching the Bond movie would make you want to use your Bond-like charm.

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9 Name: TEENAGER : 2006-11-23 14:36 ID:KcFFec0u

>>8

P.S. Just ask her what would she like to see. If there are any differences in opinion, play rock-paper-scissors.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-23 20:06 ID:PP9OrxB7

Don't let a girl sit by herself at lunch. If she is shy, then you have to step up and do the talking. If it's there, which I'm guessing it is, she will open up to you soon enough. From the sounds of it, she may lack some confidence, and if that's the case, you must display confidence so she can draw some from you.

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-23 21:29 ID:m3t9W6hf

Go see "Stranger than Fiction" its a real good date movie. It's not one of those typical Will Ferrel comedy with the crude humor. It is just a light hearted movie that keeps you smiling and has a few moments where you laugh out loud.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-23 21:41 ID:TGp0rfOA

ask her out, NOW.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-24 11:07 ID:+qr8K4X9

>>10

I would sit with her more often, but most of time time I'm having lunch with my friends, so it'd be rude to them to just get up and move to her table. I always sit with her when my friends aren't around though.

14 Name: yuka : 2006-11-24 13:54 ID:Brk10Fz2

>>13 but you want to get to know her right? Even if your friends are around, you should join her for lunch.

and >>10 is right. I'm a girl and I don't like sitting alone during lunch. It can be really sad.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-24 16:47 ID:EFXDI1zB

>>14
Yeah, they know. I think the main reason for my reluctance is that I lost my last set of friends over a girl. You're probably right though.

16 Name: yuka : 2006-11-25 00:10 ID:Kzf8/118

>>15 O_O NEVER EVER GIVE UP YOUR FRIENDS OVER A GIRL. THAT COULD BE THE LAST THING YOU COULD EVER DO.

17 Name: Vietnamese Girl : 2006-11-25 00:21 ID:z/1LCDyJ

Why don't you ever come and sit with me at lunch?
Are you gay?

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-11-26 20:16 ID:Heaven

>>16 agreed.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-01 17:34 ID:oLv9RaAi

Sit next to her! She may be hard to read, but I'm sure she must enjoy (or at least tolerate) your company if she has done a few things with you. She will most likely expect you to make the first move, because she is nervous as heck to do anything.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-03 00:12 ID:D8JjBTnF

Looks like she's opened up a bit, and it's good news. It was my birthday on Thursday, and she sent me an e-card. At least that shows that she cares for me at least as a friend :)

Bought her a little cute teddy bear for Christmas (one of those Me To You bears), which she'll probably love since she's got one of them as her avatar on Yahoo messenger.

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21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-03 01:41 ID:D8JjBTnF

Oh, and unfortunately I didn't get to go to the cinema with her this week. She's working on a Geography essay and she's having a bit of trouble with the language barrier. She absolutely hates the subject at the moment ^^;

So I'll probably ask her out again a bit closer to Christmas when college is out.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-03 17:18 ID:Re+JCUjt

Could be too direct, but if she's having language troubles, you could offer her to help out and proofread.

23 Name: MG : 2006-12-08 09:41 ID:Heaven

Don't sit next to her every time since it might make her feel uncomfortable (noone likes stalkers). Do it the first time to approach and try to get a date with her.