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Advice needed! Me, a flirting girl and my friend (who loves her) (13)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-01 22:17 ID:vx34hWgX

Hey guys,

This girl I occasionally talk to online recently invited me over to her house. No big deal, she lives close by and we were both talking about how we were bored and she asked me to come play some videogames there. She's not a close friend of mine, but we also know eachother well enough for it to be normal to do something like this together. Anyway, once I got there I got a flirtatious vibe from her, like she was sitting very close to me (leaving no room between us), leaning on me from behind several times (while should could just sit down instead), grabbing and rubbing my hand to see if they were warmer then hers and changing into a thicker sweater while sitting right next to me (about those last two, it was pretty damn cold there). Innocent stuff really, but it caught me off guard and I didn't really respond to it in any way.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-01 22:40 ID:o7yVeJ6m

Well, this is a situation indeed... It's not as if she dated your friend and then broke up and then you would be seeing her now after. Technically, though it didn't happen, your friend might have similar feelings. Personally, I would think it's okay as long as your friend is okay with it. If you two have a understanding friendship, then he should be mature enough to say okay. So, you would have to confront your friend and really find out what he thinks about it.

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-01 23:02 ID:Heaven

3-4 years!?! And they dated for 2 weeks. She was fair game as soon as she broke up with him. Hey if you like her go for her, don't worry about your friend, he is just being wuss/wimp/bitch/etc. Look 3 years is way too long, especially for a 2 week "relationship" (2 weeks is too short to even classify as dating), to still be in love with a girl. Tell your friend the truth. Tell him that she likes you and you may like her and if you two go out it is something he shouldn't be concerned with. You two are capable of making decisions on your own and he has no ownership over her. And if he has a problem with it, tell him that is unhealthy to be infatuated with a girl for that long and as a friend you will help him get over her.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-03 14:06 ID:I/To6o1r

answer these questions for yourself,

  1. Are you in love with her?
  2. did you told your friend nothing will happen between you and her?
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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-03 14:09 ID:I/To6o1r

sry.. message was sent wrong..

answer these questions for yourself,

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-04 11:37 ID:vx34hWgX


Well I just asked my friend about it, he said he would feel bad if I did flirt with her. And behold, about one and half hour later she asks me to come to a party... I told her to ask me again at a later time (when she had an exact date) because I really didn't know what to say.

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7 Name: frigid onanoko : 2006-12-04 11:57 ID:pMn7TlxG

FO checking the numbers... hmm. interest of your friend, versus interest of girl and interest of you: 2vs1.

hm.. checking value of interests: current interest of you and current interest of girl against pretty outdated dream of friend.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-04 20:51 ID:Heaven


not agreeing with frigid. (frigid.. wtf.. look at his name XD doesn't seems he knows anything about this kind of shit)

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-23 21:59 ID:vx34hWgX

OP update:
Well, I decided to go to that 'party' (we went bowling with 6 people), there were two couples there with us. She wasn't as flirty as she was last time, but her friends were dropping subtle hints. One couple left afterwards and we moved to the house of the other couple. We played a board game and the mood was relaxed. That's when the tequila was brought out. :P

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-24 01:48 ID:M6XxuqWt


Good to hear that! Who says alcohol is bad? Just be glad, though, that she wasn't pissed at you the next day, or blame it on the booze.

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-24 05:36 ID:6FY9trC7

Hey, that's awesome. Your friend...well...if I was in your situation, it would depend on how good a friend he is. If it was someone I just hung with to play games or something, I would just do whatever, but if we were like blood brothers and been through a ton of shit together, I wouldn't bother her. That's just me though, and I hope things work out with you.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-24 06:57 ID:Heaven

the only real advice i can think of is that drinking water really helps with hangovers.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-24 10:36 ID:vx34hWgX

Well I talked to my friend yesterday, but I didn't have the heart to tell him, especially since he had been drinking. Unfortunately he always starts talking about his ex when he drinks and I told him he should really move on if he wants to be happy, since she no longer has any interest in him (this is true, she has told him this often before. If it was up to her they would be friends but I think my friend only wants her as girlfriend or nothing at all).

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