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Decisions, decisions (26)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-17 03:44 ID:AQGqaTH8

It's kind of a long story...

I am not some immature little kid and I have had 3 mature, lasting relationships. So no, I am not a stupid kid or anything like that...

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2 Name: Immature/Stupid Kid : 2006-12-17 04:16 ID:YqQu/Nlm

I don't think it's whorish at all. Six years is a long time knowing him, even on the internet. It's pretty bold if you "acted like a couple" the first day you met, but whatev. Us guys are just jealous by nature. You wouldn't believe the things I can get jealous over! I'm level-headed enough to not act on my jealousy (I've definitely never spread rumors about a girl I like because of it, is that supposed to make her like me?), but I just can't keep myself from getting jealous over the dumbest things. If there's the slightest possibility that my crush could even begin to become slightly attracted to another guy, I'll be paranoid about it. Oh, how I wish I could fix that!

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-17 05:15 ID:AQGqaTH8


i actually think jealously is kinda cute...guys act in the most interesting ways when they are jealous. but these guys are just going too far.

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4 Name: TS : 2006-12-17 06:54 ID:QuK+oZ92

i dont think whorish is even the correct term to use. i'm a guy, yet i dont understand why guys are pimps if they have a lot of women, and girls are sluts/whores if they have a lot of guys. it should be one way or the highway.

therefore, i do not believe you are a whore

5 Name: Devil's Advocate : 2006-12-17 07:27 ID:LdqFEkCd

ok, i'll be the devil's advocate here:

i can somewhat understand their feelings if they were crushed by you being "like a couple" with this new guy. it's possible that they really were in love with you and felt like there was the possibility of them getting closer to you. then, out of the blue - some random guy they've never met shows up, and you do things with him you haven't done with them. i'd be crushed too. in a funny and pitiful way, they probably felt betrayed.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-17 09:10 ID:g7FQ5Tux


why does sleeping with someone you don't love make you a whore? explain please.

7 Name: random passer by : 2006-12-17 12:08 ID:KT9awaz6

It does make you some one who had sex for the sake of having sex, doesn't it? Some one who does that, will not have my respect.


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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-17 16:18 ID:FunCnTne

People have sex for plenty of reasons short of love. I that, for quite some time, people treated one of my friends as if she had no sexuality. It offended her and made her feel undesirable, driving her to get physical comfort from a guy that notoriously slept around. It's sad, but not something she should lose my respect for. ...And it CERTAINLY doesn't make her a slut. She's now in a relationship with a loving man that does his best to ensure she never feels like that again. And I'm not jealous or disdainful of her past; I'm happy for both of them.

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-17 17:03 ID:k6H/bERd


i think i'll go for it..thanks!

10 Name: random passer by : 2006-12-17 18:38 ID:KT9awaz6

7 here
you'r right

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-17 23:48 ID:H2JPLZe9

All I know is I just wanted a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me....

12 Name: Devil's Advocate : 2006-12-18 01:00 ID:LdqFEkCd

A whore has sex to get something they want. They render a service to someone, and they are payed for that service.

Love gives without expecting anything in return. Making love to someone is a way to give something to them, not to get something for yourself.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-18 06:03 ID:/x73Z93t

It's a bit archaic in mentality, but fundamentally sound.

Now then, what of someone who sleeps with another person whom they do NOT love but wants to, say, make them feel better about themselves, or for simple companionship, or something such as this.

14 Name: Devil's Advocate : 2006-12-18 07:31 ID:LdqFEkCd

To make someone feel better about themselves:
option A: they want the other person to be happy so that they are not depressed by their problems = selfishness, not love, whore
option B: the really do care about the other person and want them to be happy = self-giving, true love, not whore

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-18 10:25 ID:52VyScRm

Sex is purely physical, it has nothing to do with love. Some people think it is the deepest expression of love, but I think people like that will have future problems within their relationship if they believe that mixing bodily fluids and sweating all over one another is the deepest expression of love.

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16 Name: Devil's Advocate : 2006-12-18 15:15 ID:LdqFEkCd

If sex was purely physical, why would the guys that were in love with the OP be so angry about her sleeping with her Internet friend?
It is true that sex is nothing more than a physical act, but we humans tend to convey our emotions with physical actions. Sex is very important to people, and can be an important part of a strong romantic relationship. No one can deny this.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-18 20:00 ID:52VyScRm


They felt it was an invasion of their territory, humans and other animals, especially males are very territorial. They felt that some other man was taking their woman away. It really has little to do with sex, any physical contact would probably bring on such a reaction. The only difference is that they probably would not call her a whore for holding his hand instead of sleeping with him but they would still be jealous and angry.

18 Name: Devil's Advocate : 2006-12-18 22:08 ID:LdqFEkCd

That's a legitimate explanation, but there are a few problems with it based on their reaction.

If they had indeed seen it as an invasion of their territory, they would have behaved aggressively towards the usurper rather than the potential mate. Attacking the female would simply reduce their chances of mating at another time, while trying to eliminate competition would be more conducive to future reproduction.

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-19 00:39 ID:6SogLSCM


i AM surprised at them spreading rumours and disappearing.

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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-19 00:40 ID:6SogLSCM


yeah i agree totally with you. it IS a territorial thing

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-19 00:44 ID:6SogLSCM


no offence taken, i understand.

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-19 05:30 ID:yNyLYFDt


They felt betrayed because each of them felt they had a chance with you as well. Then you told them you had sex with someone else, full-well knowing (or at least suspecting--you can't deny that unless you're completely blind) some of them may have more than friendly feelings for you.

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23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-19 06:28 ID:vtGEmtQk


well they shouldn't assume i am all theirs'.........

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24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-19 10:35 ID:52VyScRm

How is simply saying "It really isn't any of your business," lying? Lying would be saying "I never slept with him."

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-20 04:42 ID:iDn5m0nB


it's still not telling the whole truth...and even if i said that, they would assume i did and still act this way. i do not regret telling them, the truth is the truth whether they like it or not.

26 Name: !5Kzt9sNCTE : 2006-12-20 06:19 ID:52VyScRm

No matter what you do someone is going to be displeased with you, it is impossible to please everyone. So, do what you want and deal with the consequences of your actions. It sucks that they did the things that they did, so you have to shrug it off and go be happy with the one that you want.