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Nervous about Sex (13)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-09 16:36 ID:g1qKd9lu

Hi. I'm a girl, 18, and I have a boyfriend. (Makes it sound like AA or something?)
Anyway, we've only been dating for like 2 weeks an the question of sex has already come up. I've basically told him that I definately want to EVENTUALLY, but not QUITE so early. Basically I'd like us to be dating for at least a couple months first. (This is mostly because I'm a virgin, and he and I haven't even done the "I love you" thing yet.) So we've only done pretty much "under the shirt" stuff.

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2 Name: mae : 2007-01-09 17:09 ID:SHgJ8gN4

I think I'm self conscious but in the moment I completely forget it. It depends anyways... on the pair. Say those who go slower (sweeter and even talk during sex dies) yeah maybe they would pay attention to such detail. The majority have sex like animals. I don't think you should worry too much.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-09 17:42 ID:Heaven

Yeah I don't think it will be a problem. As for me, I saw my girlfriend's entire body many times before we actually had sex. She didn't have a perfect body, but I never noticed anything that was unattractive. Little flaws shouldn't matter at that point.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-09 23:19 ID:3zIYCyDi

You're the one who spends the largest amount of time with your own body, and thus you notice things that most others wouldn't give a damn about. Trust me, someone with a few "flaws" (i.e. everyone) that's clearly enjoying the sex, helping and encouraging, perhaps even being the dominant one, is bloody sexy and one hell of a turn on. Now, imagine your favourite super-skinny supermodel: I can promise that she'd be awful to have in bed if she instead of enjoying the moment kept being too obsessed about her body, especially the "flaws", feeling too selfconscious. That, unlike "just flaws", is a turnoff. He's not going to have sex with your body: he's going to have sex with YOU, and you with HIM. There's a lot more to people than just their bodies. He loves you and finds you attractive, right? Trust me, a mere bump isn't going to change that. If he accidentally touches something "bad", then just grab his arm, move it elsewhere so that his body is closer to yours, and wink seductively. Trust me, he's totally not going to give a fuck about any bumps... xD

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-10 04:33 ID:zS16ff96

I understand exactly how you feel and I know how hard it is when you are unhappy with how you look. The first time is never perfect and when we are self conscious it makes the experience even worse. I do not really have any advice for you except I can tell you about my own personal experience.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-10 08:30 ID:Heaven


7 Name: fart man : 2007-01-10 08:42 ID:0Ixl0muK

i understand how u feel. especially because u r a girl, and will be the first time for u to have sex with someone.

but try not to worry too much about ur scar, becuse usually in such cases like this, the other person(in this case its ur boyfriend) doesnt worry as much as u do.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-10 19:34 ID:Heaven

My first time was pretty awesome, sexwise. But that's because my boyfriend and I had spent a lot of time teasing each other and exploring each other's bodies before that, and I had zero fears even though my body was not something you'd see on a supermodel.

9 Name: wandering jack : 2007-01-10 23:23 ID:MVP2JTi+

guys in particular don't mind for little things like that just tell him what bothers you in a private atmosphere and most likly he will understand

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-10 23:45 ID:qtQmFUNp


My advice to you is to not worry about it, but maybe tell him beforehand (not RIGHT beforehand!) If he really loves you, he won't care about a scar. I'm sure he wouldn't be dating you if your appearance wasn't already satisfactory to him!

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-15 06:55 ID:Heaven

don't tell him, because if you tell him he's going to think its something big and he'll be the one thinking about it when you have sex.

if it makes you feel better, there is a reason people turn off the lights when the have sex

12 Name: devildogmre : 2007-01-19 03:14 ID:Y1phGKuW

Get to the point in your relationship where you know that he accepts you for all your greatnesses and faults. This takes time! (More than two weeks.) You are rushing yourself. Relax. Test the waters by modeling a bathing suit in front of him. If he makes a point about the blemish, then address it. He should accept it as a part of you. If not, then he is just superficial and will focus on other "parts" of you that way too. Make sure the love is there is my point.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-19 10:14 ID:3CubX+va

If your boyfriend needs you to have a perfect body for the first time, he's crap. Tell him about it. You can't hide it anyway, and if you try, it'll only bring you distress, right?

I'd say don't worry about it, right? "Sex is all about the lower body"? No?

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