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Only one i'll ever love (6)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-12 10:51 ID:oisTk6t3

it's kinda frustrating, only 3 of my friends know this because they figured it out on their own. in my school, we study 3 years in prepschool, 6 years in elementary and 4 years in highschool. for 8 years straight i only loved one boy (boy#1).

he and I never talked to each other even if almost every year he was randomly sitted beside me, but he looks at me with such passion in his eyes that I cant forget even if i tried to. in between those years (not counted), i loved another boy (boy#2). at the same year, his best friend courted me. that year was the first time i ever saw boy#1 cry. i ddnt really know what happened, but he sat there in a corner crying, all his many friends were leaving him alone, i figured he told them. AND i am not the one he is crying for. I wanted so much to comfort him, when I finally built the courage to walk towards him (after several minutes of staring at him), one of my bestfriends (back then) went to me and said "i cant bear to watch him cry" and she told me she likes him. because boy#1 is a hottie, i ddnt have the courage to be told "nah, you'll probably be dumped" so i ddnt tell anyone, but my bestfriend did and I burst to tears right on the spot.

but that year i liked boy#2 and boy#2 only, but he disappeared after that year (transferred to another school most probably). i had two bestfriends back then actually, and both of them liked boy#1, gud thing i wzz in love with boy#2. we three bestfriends broke up because of that love, tho they ddnt know i loved the same person.

now i'm first year highschool, and i still love him. he still looks at me whenever he thinks i dont see him. BUT HE HAS A GF or so everybody thinks, but i dont believe it cuz he said he doesnt have. I already formally told one of my bestfriends that i love him and she wzz like, "NO WAI, you're just wasting ur youth on him, go pick up one of those guys that courts you, dont waste ur life!"

i tried reconsidering but I only love him. do you think i should just wait for the time he comes to me? or should I bang myself hard enuf to 4get all abt him and date somebody else?