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Letting go of an old Girlfriend (22)

1 Name: Zenigata : 2007-02-17 04:07 ID:OVDfk2X0

Well, after having a big fight nearly five months ago, she and I began talking again. It was rough at first, but after a few days it was just like it was before, talking on the phone all night, sometimes falling asleep on it. It was great. We weren't 'together,' but all the signs were there that she was just as interested as I was to try it again.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-17 05:22 ID:B+4/kPgn

She a tease. She can't have it both ways and you have to let her know that, whether you say it to her directly or just give that friends only vibe to her. Don't get sucked into her pace. You are your own man and you will NOT be manipulated.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-17 05:39 ID:vk92iqXI


Yeah this is fucked up, don't mind her mood-swings whenever you put your foot down, take the 'as far as I'm concerned it's over'-stance. If she truly, direly wants you back, she'll eventually come running to you, and if she does, don't just take her back with open arms. Be like making sure it's not just a desperate attempt to exhort a final display of your emotional attention.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-17 06:07 ID:DAiNLWKv

>>2 >>3 Are right.

She doesn't deserve your love. She sounds like a prissy bitch who thinks life is a fairytale and wants two princes to fight over her. The only way you will get the upperhand in this situation is to make her realise that you will not wait around for her while she goes and makes out with another guy. Seriously, if it was the other way around (you with another girl), do you really think that she would do the same for you? Face the facts dude, you're just the rebound guy that she hangs around when she's not with her boyfriend. I would never cancel an engagement I had with my friends just because I was a little tired from hanging out with my boyfriend prior to that.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-17 07:25 ID:Heaven


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6 Name: Nibbles : 2007-02-17 16:21 ID:Kt7Kli5C

Dude she sounds like a selfish asshole, She wants you AND the other guy obviously, and if she cant have you both shes gonna throw a fit, you sound like a really nice loving, caring guy and those are hard to find these days and women are constantly looking for that kind of guy, go find one of them and be happy for a change and use your time to make someone else happy. I'm in a similar situation, my gf left me cause she wasnt sure what she wanted and we were together for six months planning to get married, then one of her old friends pops up out of nowhere and decides he loves her so she leaves me to be with him yet she would still call me and talk to me and say she loved me and all that other horse shit, so I said fuck it and told her to never talk to me again and I moved on, yeah I miss her and I love her with all my heart, dont get me wrong, but same applies for me as you, I am a very loving and caring guy and Im gonna find someone who will show the same love and respect to me.

7 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-02-18 01:29 ID:72+DtoUn

>>4, >>6 Frigid Onanoko disagree. Its too harsh. Sure, this not very nice, but need understand girls perspective, she probably also bit queezy about situation. >>1 That fight you had did have a reason to it. Any relation has its hurdles and it is only natural that a major hickup occurs in a beginning relationship. How the relation goes on from there depends on how you handle the situation. You need to know where she's coming from and what your position is. Perhaps your distance is too long, too long to make the necessary sacrifices to close it (sacrifices on her part too.) So FO think you need to start at the reasons why it not work out in the first place, analyze them. Sure, you sort of made up with her, but you seem to have only restored communication. That's not the same as having properly dealt with the underlying problem.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-18 05:14 ID:DAiNLWKv

Reading your advice always gives me a headache because of the engrish you insist to use. I'm actually asian and all, but I know you can type normally.

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-18 19:24 ID:Heaven

...Frigid Onanoko's typing is supposed to be Asian Engrish? Oh ah. I didn't know that. (Don't assume the name should have tipped me off, I've seen tons of non-asian people use names similar to that, as well as typing in a stilted Engrish sort of way thanks to not being from GB/USA/Australia).

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10 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-02-18 22:27 ID:72+DtoUn

Maybe it interesting who initiated talk after communication breakdown? Frigid Onanoko guessing it be girl. People, be less harsh on girl! Just because she is girl, that no mean she know how she want to position herself between different people. She need time too, to understand own feelings. It not so nice for Op, but can you expect better from her - is she really at fault? (this in reaction to >>7 btw)

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-19 07:03 ID:Heaven


>People, be less harsh on girl!
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12 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-02-19 18:10 ID:72+DtoUn

FO believe in goal of emancipation: women have equal rights as men, men have equal rights as women. No gender discrimination, duh.

>>11 Frigid Onanoko referring not to gender but to specific person: the girl. Also not excusing girl, but sketching ameliorating circumstances (nya!) that could be relevant here.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-20 23:26 ID:B+4/kPgn

Honestly, As much as a girl deserves equal rights. In this situation. It's about what HE wants. Because she is indeed sending mixed signals and this guy, will have to, and to be frank, SHOULD decide to step away from her a bit, and look for other options. When it comes to two people, Whether they are in a relationship or not, Two people decide things, They always do, You don't have to wait for her decision. And since you two already broke up once, You should consider what happened before and see if it's even worth it.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-23 13:28 ID:oKnrCpRV

>>Frigid Onanoko
>What FO hear is, girl is also positioning. She like both Op and other guy. If wholly choose for one guy, big chance to lose touch with other person. She wanna know for sure she no cut loose one guy (the other one) only to find out that relation with nr 2 didn't work out after all. This is the game, and FO think girl afraid of losing twice.
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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-24 09:01 ID:U5DKgRGO

Well I'm pretty sure that FO is non-Asian (I've seen her post in normal English), taking on the "Confucius say.." persona. Anyway, quite off topic.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-24 09:48 ID:Heaven

The boyrfirend could be some sort of attempt for luring jealousy, which of course owuld be immature and you'd be best off telling her so or never talking to her again until he's gone and THEN she tries to initiate communication, if you're willing to wait, which is up to you. Or do it however you'd want to handle that, I just suggested what I'd do.

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17 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-02-24 15:33 ID:72+DtoUn


>We men are not commodities to be weighed and see which one is better.
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18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-25 06:36 ID:Heaven

I know you think you or anyone else can determine and discern between two weights, but the premise alone is more than flawed, can you make a grammatically awful statement about maintaing a VERY singular focus purposelessly for me?

19 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-02-25 12:05 ID:72+DtoUn

Frigid Onanoko tried to, but afraid no understand >>18, sorry!

>I know you think you or anyone else can determine and discern between two weights.
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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-25 16:26 ID:Heaven

>Or do you consider "heh, heh... hahahaa!" as a counterargument?

Oh do you mean to say that it wasn't? Because that is sure as hell what it sounded like to me.

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21 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-02-25 17:21 ID:72+DtoUn

oh, so the point of >>18 was

>would you like to change your stance on how a woman should treat men?
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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-26 08:21 ID:Heaven

No that wasn't the point, try again.