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Getting over an evil woman from long ago... (11)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-01 06:50 ID:0yfla4l4

Goddamn, I realized how seriously I need help with somethin', y'all...

I am a 20 year-old dude that has had a few decent relationships in the past (one lasted 3.5 years across high school), and am overall pretty good at getting women. However, I have one problem, that I realized I just want to get over once and for all: getting over that last part of me that still misses this friend of mine who I ended up sleeping with, and we became fuckbuddies for about 6 months... but then she became this selfish, manipulative bitch. Problem is, I still see her around town at times (VERY awkward), and honestly she was the best sex I've EVER had (and I can't help but fantasize about our sessions)... she was very cute, very sweet, until I realized how selfish and manipulative she was. I am currently seeing someone right now, but even after 2 years I still find my mind wandering at least once or twice a day back to how it was...

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-01 07:18 ID:7fmC5sjy

I always found myself fantasising about a friend who confessed to me two years ago. Problem was, I didn't like him at the time. During these two years I've had on and off periods where he would enter my day dreams and I would have to keep reminding myself why I rejected him in the first place. It never worked of course, and in my fantasies, his faults were non existent, and he became the perfect male. I let my imagination run, until recently when I bumped into him again. Quickly, I was once again reminded of why we couldn't be together, and everything was put into perspective after a quick chat and a "See you later." I stopped thinking about him after that, and decided I would busy myself with things so I would once and for all forget about him whilst in a reality check period. So far it has worked.

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3 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-04-01 11:41 ID:GoHIwEpe

Frigid Onanoko like >>2s response. It good to realize that dealing with fantasies is conscious process. However, simple rejection is very difficult. In fact, it dangerous as involve outright betrayal of own emotions. >>2 indicates that you need to actively steer through simulation that your mind conjures up, and navigate through it such that all important traits of other person, (both desirable and undesirable) are introduced there. This help you judge desirability of the fantasy. As long as fantasy remains interesting to your mind, it will return. >Fantasising about ex's would be the worst thing to do because you start painting a perfect picture of them.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-01 15:28 ID:0yfla4l4

Fantasy is actually a very small footnote in the whole debate- and I'm sure with time it could be easily broken.

The more difficult thing to mentally break with, though, is the dillemma of having feelings for something that doesn't exist: what I thought she was, rather than what she truly is. Because honestly, there's no chance in HELL I would ever get back together with her, but ARRRGH GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! (smacks forehead repeatedly like a schizophrenic)

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-01 20:50 ID:PEkoG+vK

Well, just admit that she is your "ideal sex partner" if she's not your ideal girl. You don't love her, as you say, but what you thought she was. So there's nothing wrong - I mean, she was that good. Time will pass and you'll probably still compare everything you get from a girl to her, and that until you find someone better.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-07 08:50 ID:0yfla4l4

Well, I ran into her earlier today, while out with a friend. Just abruptly in the courtyard of the college she and my friend go to. We kinda made small-talk, until she started crying and she finally said "I'm sorry for everything I did to you and all the things I said about you"... and apologizing for every single little thing, and admitting how much it had hurt to carry this guilt for so long.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-07 16:40 ID:PEkoG+vK

Just read the title of your thread and think very carefully about it.

8 Post deleted by moderator.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-07 17:36 ID:33wrsHZz

Stay away.

She sounds manipulative just in the way you describe her, best to keep your distance.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-07 19:07 ID:j1EFsZo5


Repeating what >>7 and >>9 said, stay away, manipulative types are better avoided

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-08 10:22 ID:Heaven

>>6 that sounds like manipulation, even if she regrets it, and apologizes, she would still be manipulative i think