the next time i saw her, it was when i was leaving for another country. i wanted to say my last good bye to her, and spent the whole afternoon with her. to sum it up, we went out, we went home, i kissed her, told her i still wanted her, she didn't say anything, and i said good bye. i didn't cry.
6 months in, i hadn't spoken(pardon if this is bad english) to anyone from my old home. i decided the first person to contact would be her. just drop her a line. i did. nothing spectacular, just how are things. she responded. weeee. the first year in this new country i was living in i was an emotional wreck. heavy drinking, i started smoking, womanizing and doing a small amount of drugs. then my money ran out and i had to get a job. i reduced my drinking and i quit doing drugs. then it fucking happened. i send her a hey hows it goin email, and she responds with it was a mistake that i ever left you type message. well thank you for telling my this. at this point in time a dam of emotion breaks, and what amount of stability i happened to have, disappeared once more. i start drinking again. 6 months later, i'm not a wreck, have sort of an established and balanced life, and 2 years later, here i am.
long, outdrawn, yes?
to be frank, i still harbor some resentment towards her. but not enough to deter me...at least not completely.