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help... relationship didn't get off the ground (22)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-23 01:02 ID:EjW0psvT

Where to begin... I've got a relationship that I thought was real, but doesn't seem to be going anywhere right now... Largely due to the other person... Hoping for some advice on what to do next... This is the first potential relationship I've been in, and I really don't want it to end... I'm torn up trying to find where to go from here...

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2 Name: OP : 2007-05-23 01:12 ID:tYXQJddm

Anyway, to continue, came to our mutual friends' house first... Then went to pick her up... We'd idly discussed plans to see a movie while there, but not much more... We'd earlier pretty much said that we'd just be soooo shy on meeting each other...

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3 Name: OP : 2007-05-23 01:24 ID:pw0G7Mr3

Oh, almost forgot...

Got her a little gift, a figurine to put in her car, and she never really looked twice at it... I've sent her a book in the past as a gift, (a book she'd lost years ago), and she'd seemed to like that back then...

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4 Name: OP : 2007-05-23 01:35 ID:Gk3PUaJO

Whoops... Post cut off...

The worst part is that any other typical, non-sensitive guy probably would've just written her off as a dud, a failed date, and moved on... But I really feel like we have something... Especially after how close we were... (Without going into details, there weren't many things we kept from each other...)

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-23 04:46 ID:CBgiC7yC

Don't play the reliable boring guy, you'll get cheated on. DTMFA.

6 Name: OP : 2007-05-23 14:52 ID:aNQLHevz

OP Here...

Well, after debating a lot of things...

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-23 15:22 ID:fablgPuf

Seriously, text messaging? Couldn't you at least send a written note?

Also, I don't think she's likely to go back to the person she once was. People tend to undergo large changes of thought and character in college, as they decide for themselves what they really want in life. Don't count on her suddenly popping back into happiness after she "gets over" herself.

8 Name: OP : 2007-05-23 16:01 ID:aNQLHevz

Actually, text messaging because she lives about an hour & a half away, as I'd mentioned above... (And I can't call now because I'm actually at work...)

And I'm not sure about the changes... We've been talking for about 2 months now, and the changes really only happened last week, and though they seemed over with (PMS moodiness, supposedly), they came back Friday, when I first really met her, which led to a very disappointing first date, followed by no real communication until now, when I just texted her...

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9 Name: OP : 2007-05-23 16:33 ID:0RY4sjTt

Forget it. I turned gay.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-24 06:24 ID:mteYDiUF

awww...OP...
you sucha sweetie, it's too bad this didn't work for you.
fish, ocean, sea, etc.

11 Name: OP : 2007-05-24 09:12 ID:P8vjfw1v

>>10
Thanks:) I know, the whole finally meeting thing was pretty much a disaster, heh; (First date ever, and it turns out to be a miserable time... Not eager to have that happen again...)

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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-24 11:16 ID:tqruYeOO

She is debating how to tell you to not bother her.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-24 12:50 ID:5z+Vxx+I

She most likely wants to flirt during the trip and is too ashamed of that, so she doesn't tell anyone. Maybe she is planning something big, and you are on her way.

You must not think of her as a granted love.

14 Name: OP : 2007-05-24 12:55 ID:aNQLHevz

>>12
I sincerely hope that's not the case, but even if she did, at least being turned down could be understood, I suppose... It would be better than nothing, which is what's going on now...

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-24 14:00 ID:5z+Vxx+I

Just because people break up it doesn't mean that what they had was real, or that their feelings were false. People aren't obliged to only like one person forever. Humans love many people, they even love two people at the same time without being aware of it. Jesus they can even date someone and love her more than anything and still love someone else too.

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16 Name: OP : 2007-05-24 14:39 ID:aNQLHevz

>>13
Thanks for the words of encouragement... Here's hoping it's just a symptom of wanting to take it slow...

>>15 I know and fully agree (in fact, you sound very much like a friend of mine, who has made similar comments...), except that it wasn't really a breakup at all, or had anything to do with not loving each other..., she just suddenly didn't show any interest in me at all when we met, and acted like a different person, even to her friends, then hasn't talked about it since...

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17 Name: OP : 2007-05-24 14:41 ID:aNQLHevz

(Ironically, I suppose all this would be better had we both had previous experience in the whole, dating, bf/gf, etc... type of thing... This is a first for both of us, neither of us being used to this kind of thing, so it's frankly really scary for me too...)

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-24 15:51 ID:5z+Vxx+I

Hahah, >>15 here, if this is your first time in a situation like this, you really should be taking the whole experience in and enjoying it, think about this as a lesson about life/dating/women you can only take once.

19 Name: OP : 2007-05-31 15:49 ID:aNQLHevz

OP here with a real (and positive!) update... Sorry for the long post!

After trying to get ahold of her for awhile, I finally got up the courage to actually call yesterday... After leaving a voice mail, I called again, on a lark... And got her mother, lol!

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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-31 18:54 ID:Pdh9+JK4

Yay ~

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-10 01:40 ID:eJZHn6Qv

well that was quite a nice story, i hope things will work out for you

22 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2007-06-10 03:20 ID:1clkmOWE

SWEET! So does this mean the start of a new beggining?