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help... relationship didn't get off the ground (22)


4 Name: OP : 2007-05-23 01:35 ID:Gk3PUaJO

Whoops... Post cut off...

The worst part is that any other typical, non-sensitive guy probably would've just written her off as a dud, a failed date, and moved on... But I really feel like we have something... Especially after how close we were... (Without going into details, there weren't many things we kept from each other...)

I guess I'm hurt knowing that apparently she feels that being in any one place is somehow... boring... I want adventure, too, but I rather enjoy actually having a home to go home to, that doesn't change all the time...

I really feel like if this is how she felt, why didn't she tell me sooner... I personally have the feeling she got as carried away as I was... (Gotta concede, this "love" is an intoxicating drug...) But still...

I'm hoping this is all just really strong "second thoughts", and it'll be gone... She'll go back to being the bubbly, flirty, not-emo person I fell for...

Along those lines, I'm also worried why she acted that way around us to begin with... There's being "not yourself today", but that was ridiculous... That was someone else compeletely...

What depresses me most of all is the idea that... I'm supposed to... what? Wait until she's done jetting around having fun & living her life, and when you're finished, the stability-guy, me, will be here, still waiting for you? Granted, I honestly do believe she would be faithful, and her friends have confirmed this, but the very idea of waiting for someone to be "ready" is disappointing, and very unsatisfying, when you want to start having a relationship...

I'm sure that's not what's she's thinking in feeling that way, but that's how it feels to me... Frankly, I wasn't originally looking for a relationship, but after both of us fell completely into one, it's hard to not feel hurt when this kind of thing happens, and for these reasons, apparently...

Sorry to everyone for the length of this post, but I really felt the need to tell this story (well, the highlights & overview of it, anyway) to someone, as right now, frankly, I'm having a hard time thinking about anything else... (It's all I'm thinking about at work, at home, etc... Being depressed all the time is really getting old...)