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help... relationship didn't get off the ground (22)


8 Name: OP : 2007-05-23 16:01 ID:aNQLHevz

Actually, text messaging because she lives about an hour & a half away, as I'd mentioned above... (And I can't call now because I'm actually at work...)

And I'm not sure about the changes... We've been talking for about 2 months now, and the changes really only happened last week, and though they seemed over with (PMS moodiness, supposedly), they came back Friday, when I first really met her, which led to a very disappointing first date, followed by no real communication until now, when I just texted her...

I'm frankly thinking (and from talking with our mutual friend last night, I know she has) gone through a lot of thought on this...

My opinion on the subject is that she still has a fair amount of time in college, and I'm working, so there's no reason we can't have a successful relationship, and by the time she's ready to make decisions about travelling, I'd... like to say I'll be ready to make them with her, for myself as well... (As far as I'm thinking, also, she'll very likely need a job fairly immediately around here anyway, to begin paying off bills & loans, so the traveling concept may be further off still...

She hasn't responded yet, but she's very likely asleep, or even carefully wording her reply... Hopefully...

Something, I don't know... kind of coalesced in me when I sent that message... I've already been through the ranges of emotions over this, sadness, anger, hurt, disappointment, and I think they all somehow came together when I got the courage to send that...

Maybe I'm tired of feeling not in charge of where I go & what I want... I want a relationship, and I'm starting to realize & feel that it's not wrong to want that, with where I am in life, and what I want at this point in life...

That's what I intend to say, when I speak with her, preferably in person... I do not want to tie anyone down, and frankly, I'd enjoy being able to leave my job, as frankly, there's no room for advancement, and it makes me miserable most of the time...

I don't know where this assertiveness came from, but I oddly feel better when I think about things in this way... I'm never assertive, as I'm the very sensitive type, but somehow, this time, I feel like my feelings are the ones that need consideration for a change...