Alright, let me explain this one. First off, I don't have a problem finding girls who would want a relationship with 'me'. That part was pretty clear.
I'll begin with why I might have a low self confidence. When I was in elementary and junior highschool. I was the fat kid... I was like 60lbs over my weight, I slouched, I pretty much just dressed in whatever my Mom thought was fashionable. I was a fucking loser.
When I hit highschool though, the magic of puberty struck me like nothing I even noticed. I started growing taller, my face, became clearer than it was before puberty. I started fencing and track. And I had dropped myself sixty to seventy lbs. Highschool was hard for me. I didn't know how to deal with people treating me.
And it was still difficult for me to understand and relate to people, I had an IQ of 130, which is pretty average to 4-ch I think. But I went to Brooklyn Technical Highschool. Even if they were intelligent, it wasn't a school of class. I actually ran away from good looking people because they were the people who used to make fun of me in elementary. It took me years to get over the fact that I wasn't bad looking. I still feel that way sometimes.
After Highschool, I began taking things a little more offensively. I finally figured out that "hey, I can have EVERYTHING i ever wanted! i can have friends, i can go do things, i don't have to be afraid of being made fun of. i can make fun of people if i wanted to". A lot of things happen when people see you differently. People didn't see me as some freak who didn't talk to anyone.
And in college, I had every single opportunity to change how people saw me. Completely new class, with new people. I had a choice to make. Were people going to see me as this nobody? Or were they going to see something worth being with?
So I planned. I'll admit it. I planned being cool. I studied being popular. I even have dry erase board plots on what to say and what to do, and how I would treat people. I studied sociology.
On the first day in College. Everyone knew me. That's no exaggeration. It was hard for me. Like jumping out of a plane, doing things I never would have DREAMED of doing. I put on this show of a person who was too cool that he didn't CARE about how he was seen. And in the end. That was what I became.
On the first day of College, I had a top hat on. I greeted anyone who even looked at me. I was dancing on a Cafeteria table with two girls I had just met.
And on the inside? Panic. Total and utter panic. But I pushed. And I continued going on like I was USED to this. Like having girls all over me was NO BIG DEAL. And that's how people remember me by.
I made hundreds of friends. I brought my sketchbook to that school, and it got passed around to everyone on the CAMPUS, and by the time I got it back it was LITTERED in numbers and screennames and little comments on my drawings.
Do girls look at me and think "OH MY GOD HE'S SO HOT LETS GO TALK TO HIM!" no. They don't think that. You know why girls approach me?
Because they CAN. It's easier for a girl to approach someone who is RENOWNED for being known. It's easier for girls to approach me because their friend. or their friend of a friend knows me. It's easier for girls to approach me because I've told EVERYONE to talk to me. Even if I don't remember them. It's easier for girls to approach me, because every other person who has has had good reviews about me. Because THATs the person I PORTRAY.