My names is Christy and as much as I try to deny it, I'm still just a silly teenage girl. Please keep that in mind as you read.
I'm post numbah 224 from the Virginity thread and I believe I have a problem that in the long run, is likely insignificant but as of now...It's sort of a pain.
well, as a man i can tell you that guy is an ass. I mean yes, there are plenty of people who go out, find a girl have sex with her and never speak with her again. but that still doesnt make it right. about if you are making a fuss over nothing, it all depends on you. you should deep down how you feel. some ultra liberal girls couldnt care less, while some ultra conservative girls might feel the opposite. u no urself better than i do. i know as a fact that most girls (girls and not hoes eg loose women) would prefer to lose their virginity with the man they love and in a romantic setting. so too be honest, i would say it was kind of wasted on that guy but what is done is done. you shouldnt blame yourself. if anything blame him.
What does sex even mean? Well, there is more than one way to look at it. On one end, you have the view that our sex drive is nature's way of keeping the human race alive, and having sex for pleasure doesn't hurt anyone if you do it safely. On the completely opposite end, you have religions which teach that sex is a very spiritual thing, and thus should only occur in married couples.
"wasted", I think, is kind of a big word. Based on your post on the other thread, it seems you enjoyed it, so what the hell.
You could probably have spent it better, but that doesn't automatically label it "wasted".
I did the same thing when I lost my virginity. It felt like a waste and it was very painful afterwards, especially seeing him at parties and he would act like nothing happened, it hurts to be disregarded as a mere "fuck" or "hook-up". I was so ashamed of myself after that; I felt soiled and dirty.
Either way you look at it, it's pretty wasted. Your first time 'should' be special. Not even from the spiritual level where you 'should' love the person that you're with. But even if you don't Love each other, your first time is going to be where you're going to be most emotionally and physical sensitive. I guess it was kind of good that you didn't tell him you were a virgin because then he didn't have any pretense or decide to 'be careful' with you.
My advice to you is. If you feel it's a waste, if you doubt yourself. Then find a man who loves you. Someone you can talk to, but don't choose a wimp. Find someone you enjoy 'touching' just touching. Just hugging, just having his fingers on you. People like that are really good for a relationship or even just a fuckbuddy. Most important, he can't just ignore you. You have to be friends. Out of Romance and Friendship. Friendship is what gets you through things.
Well, I guess that means all my problems are solved. Thank you Anonymous!
you should have saved it
Hey, you're not pregnant right? It's reasonable to conceive that sex would create a "connection" between partners in the event of pregnancy. In an age of contraceptives, however, that is less of a factor than at any other point in history. Old religious/social constructs that help protect individuals from un-supportable pregnancies are becoming superfluous, and society is changing as a result.
I think just about everybody ends up losing it in a way like this. I know I was dreaming of anime-esque loving whatever for years, and ended up losing it to a girl I'd met an hour previously.
Doesn't mean I'm not still kicking my ass for that one, though.
Seconded. I lost my virginity in a similar fuck-buddy situation and, although we consistently hung out (read: watched a movie, got some dinner, talked, and then fucked), he never would talk about it with me, easily got frustrated by my relative inexperience, and was, overall, a pretty borderline guy; funny to have at parties, interesting to talk to on an individual basis, but hard to foresee being long-term involved with, well, anyone.
Yeah, you just wasted it.
Hormones - 1
Sadly, I'm with Secret Admirer on this one. I'm over 20 now, but I'm still a virgin. I've had a lot of chances of losing it, but all of them would have been the same way.
All I can say is, try to make it up to yourself... talk to him, even if he already knew you were a virgin. Talking can make the pain a little lighter... maybe it won't make it go away, but it'll make you have a clearer view of what he is like in reality and how you can avoid situations involving privacy and selfesteem in the future.
Don't feel bad, I lost mine to my very first boyfriend ever, and it hurt like a bitch, and the guy didn't give a flying fuck about me or my feelings.
And you know what? I was sad at first, but after that all I could think was, "Well, at least I got the first few painful times over with with someone I don't really care about. Now when it comes time to do it with someone worthwhile we can get right down to the fun part!" Haha.
Virginity is more of a sentilmental(sp?) thing anyway, like how girls like to dream that their first kiss is soft as marshmellow and taste like lemon crap.
if you dont value it personally then its no biggie, just wait until you do find the right person to enjoy it with.