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Trapped (..in the closet) (24)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-12 21:07 ID:DKIhKieW

But yeah, R. Kelly references aside, I come to you with a predicament which has been tormenting me for a good few months now, although my story begins much longer ago.

Early last year, I began talking to a girl who had been sitting on my contact list for a while, but never really payed that much attention to; I knew we shared a lot of interests and suchforth, but nothing more than that. Our conversations were fairly long-winded affairs, often extending from the moment I logged on to when I logged of - at the time, this meant more or less non-stop conversations going on from midday to about two in the morning. This was all very well and good, and to skip a few hideously-tedious chapters, we ended up agreeing to meet up in real-life. (I live in Scotland and she lives in England.)

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-12 21:53 ID:46ddNBOJ

Psychological wreck or not, perhaps you should have this conversation with her instead of on an anonymous internet community with a bunch of strangers? Sure, considering her feelings is all well and good, but she should be considering yours as well. Have you actually even explained what the current situation is doing to you?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-12 22:23 ID:VomQIw/d

tell her to calm the fuck down. it is impossible to give her all of you attention all of the time. just let her know, you are willing ot make time for her, but you also need to make time for your other friends too.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 05:26 ID:Heaven

If you want to end it, fucking end it. You're not obligated to coddle her just because she's a nut.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 11:57 ID:oRUIMgAY

Provide us her e-mail and anonymous will make sure she read this.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 14:32 ID:Smg+9IXH

Hmm... What would happen if a diamond car ran into a diamond wall? Jokes aside, you need to talk to her about how you feel, and stand your ground when she puts you on a gulit trip, which she will do.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-14 11:26 ID:Ttwk5n1s

OP here.

Thanks for all the posts so far - the general consensus seems to be talking to her about it, which seems like a fair enough idea. The only real problem there is finding the confidence to actually DO so, which is something only I can really do. Eh, with any luck I'll have some sort of inverse-Densha Otoko moment and just suddenly pick up my phone and tell her it's off. :P

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-14 12:18 ID:oev8VB6T

>>7

Most likely when you do tell her that there's something wrong she'll snap. She's possessive full stop and a relationship like this if it continues has no real future.

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17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-14 20:24 ID:Ttwk5n1s

OP here again. Whoa, what the hell happened up there? ^

>>8

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18 Name: 8 : 2007-06-15 00:00 ID:oev8VB6T

Good luck OP-kun.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-15 02:19 ID:yOTI9o7K

Yes, good luck, I've got to agree with the previous posters;

My question would be: Does she have any other friends that she spends some spare time with, like you'd like to, with your friends? You could use that as an example...

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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-17 13:34 ID:Vwx1KmUA

so uh.. what are you doing in the closet?

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-03 21:25 ID:nkP5kiCa

Simple, just stay offline for a while.

She can call you, then fine, and its not like your not going to be busy is it, so you can always just say 'look babe, i really love you, but i cant chat right now because i need a bath cos i smell' then HANG UP SOMEHOW. Dont do it in a mean way, but let her understand you need to do something too in this life, i was once really clingy to my girlfriend, guess where that winded me up.

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-05 12:36 ID:JWvdrlq8

you do need to end this, and the sooner the better. it'll hurt her, but she'll deal with it. don't drag it out anymore than you already have- it's unfair to the both of you.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-08 11:40 ID:WG1GcNrL

Any updates on this ? I would like to know :) This seemed like a tricky case.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-08 20:32 ID:Heaven

The facesitting of moses!