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Looking at my girlfriend's past... (24)


1 Name: sigh : 2007-06-21 16:25 ID:Jbp774gU

OK. We've been together for about a year now, and lots of things have happened. I say the times were really fucked up because they were full of drama. One of the things that my gf did was getting married to some guy so that the guy can earn his legal status in the country (eg green card) and divorce right away, and get $30000 in return to pay her tuition. This is my first girlfriend I ever had, and I couldn't accept the fact that she did that. It seemed to me that what she did was nothing different than what prostitutes do, and I told her that I wanted to be the one who gets to marry her first and she replied it's just a piece of paper and there's nothing more. She also told me about her past and her past sex lives. She had 5 partners so far. She apparently did a one night stand with some guy a few years ago. She just walked into a bar, picked out some guy and asked him to have sex, and that person is going to be in my class starting september. How am I supposed to feel about him? I already don't like him for sleeping with my gf, and I really don't know how to handle this situation (I know him, but he doesn't know me) I only had 1 partner in my whole life (my girlfriend) and it just doesn't seem fair and not right. We somehow ended up agreeing that we are gonna marry each other and if I let this happen I'm gonna regret for the rest of my life for having only one partner. I dropped out of school because of her. She's hurt me so much yet I'm still with her because she's also done many things for me. I want to know what other people think about this. All I can think of now is to find and get a better woman when the time comes, but if I can't find any then I'm just gonna stay with her.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-23 20:58 ID:Heaven

>>1

>you two obviously are not a good fit.
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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-23 21:21 ID:Heaven

>>15
another youtube-link
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QE0INUiEN7s

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-23 22:10 ID:Heaven

>>16
Part two is better: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nOIeRFb0s0U

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-24 03:05 ID:2EMo4FVZ

>>15 Huh? Well, I agree with her, but if you posted that to disagree with me, I just don't get it.

She's talking about apples while I was talking about oranges. When I say better, I don't mean just on looks. Because to the OP, the girl he's with is very pretty and all. What I'm saying is that her can do better on other traits aside from that. and if you close your mind saying I can't do better, you are only diminishing your own self confidence and trapping yourself in a relationship that is always giving you an uneasy feeling. That feeling isn't healthy. And if he feels that way, It's time to move on, unless he can erase that feeling.

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-24 16:14 ID:rNwnvdBC

In the words of Ferris Bueller, "he's going to marry the first person he lays." And that's sad.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-26 14:50 ID:Heaven

>>18
I repeated lines that were very true.
I didn't think the stuff she said were opposing anything you said, quite the contrary, but that may very well just be my POV.

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21 Name: sigh : 2007-07-05 14:25 ID:Jbp774gU

Hey guys... OP here.

We just broke up yesterday. She wanted to see me, turns out that she wanted out of this relationship, telling me that there's nothing wrong with me, but it's just that she wants more. I thought I've given enough, so I told her about how I really felt about what she did in the past and every feeling I was holding back. She thought she was the unhappy one, but at least she realized that we were both unhappy and we've been holding back too much. I asked her if she regrets doing the marriage thing, and she said yes; she said it was an "impulsive" move. But she still thinks that holding any guys arm when she goes out with them is right; she said "it's a courtesy."

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22 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-07-06 20:57 ID:r6lk+hkX

Interesting developments, op. For us. Maybe you could imagine better times.

But would you please tell us what you think you learned from this relationship now that it is over?

23 Name: sigh : 2007-07-07 16:54 ID:Jbp774gU

I learned a lot from this relationship. Not just as relationship-wise, but also I learned about life and all the valuable lessons I need to survive in this world. I'm really glad I spent a year with her because without her, I still would be the same naive kid who didn't know anything. If the next relationship I have is turning to something like my first one, I'm going to discuss with my partner how I feel, not holding back my feelings. If it still doesn't work, then I will quit. I won't let anybody to take advantage of me. I won't let anybody to manipulate my feelings because I am a human too, and I have feelings. I am very sensitive for a guy and got hurt a lot in my first relationship. It's a real shame how our relationship turned out like thus, but if it weren't for the 'incidents' we would make the greatest couple ever.

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24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-07 20:39 ID:iXoFL9+l

you sound pretty weak man

Its good that you got out of this relationship but I thonknit only sucked because it was your first and you are upright about sex and love

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