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I'm depressed... (9)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-13 03:38 ID:NAcMZH5h

Every female I make eye contact with wants to marry me so I must continually stare at the ground. No matter how hard I try to avoid women, they somehow manage to wriggle their vagina against my leg and start the babytalk routine. I seriously am at a loss here. I only like to hang around boys for the competition they provide and other than that I couldn't give a damn about them. What the hell can girls do besides spread their legs and make babies? Lord knows they can't cook or clean anymore. And considering that I only need tickle their chin to release their tongue, they are a complete bore. I'm here putting cheezwiz on my cracker, typing random crap on anonymous forums, scratching my balls with complete and utter freedom, powerade, good lord my left babytoe nail is long, another cracker, and maybe I should just have a baby.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-13 04:11 ID:uPJO7JNr

Find a mirror and try to date yourself.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-13 05:10 ID:qIEjugSm

damn i wish i have your power. every women i make contact with calls the cops.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-13 15:48 ID:Heaven

this is a pretty good thread

5 Name: 43 : 2007-07-13 22:40 ID:OT/IAu5I

Every woman I make contact with has been in a looooong term relationship, is happy with it and ,thus, unlikely to split up.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-14 02:44 ID:Heaven

Every thread I compose is a troll and must continually be ignored.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-15 04:18 ID:Heaven

...but no woman could match the beauty of his own hand...

8 Name: ND : 2007-07-23 00:35 ID:qi/qdSdG

Pretend to be homosexual.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-23 04:43 ID:Heaven

This is the finest Internet literature I have ever read.