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Should I be angry... (23)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-18 19:30 ID:ZUdHWyIb

...that my girlfriend calls my best friend almost every day and they talk for hours? It just doesn't seem right, but maybe it's none of my business. What do you think?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-18 20:12 ID:MsJPqZxz

I would be really jealous....

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-18 20:30 ID:BF6Y5dKX

thats, something to be suspicious of. What do they talk about?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-18 21:35 ID:7nKZ4ftQ

He said they just talk about random things, but it might be better if I explain the situation. In our group, there are two couples. The two girls (including my girlfriend) always call him and they talk on three-way for hours and I don't get so much as a ring. I asked my best friend if he ever pitched the idea for them to call me, and my girlfriend said something like "I don't feel like talking to/calling him" and they just continued on talking about nothing in particular, but still talking. I find this very unsettling.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-18 22:23 ID:BF6Y5dKX

Is he gay? If so, you may have nothing to worry about, atleast from him.

Does he talk to your girlfriend ALONE? Meaning no other party?

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6 Name: mega orc : 2007-07-19 02:08 ID:lMKNUoe4

lawl powned

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-19 14:34 ID:f841nQ2z


Whats your relationship with her like? Does she phone you normally? Hell, does she even get into in depth convo with you?

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-20 07:14 ID:/TjD//yv

OP is a trophy boyfriend.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-20 13:09 ID:kUKB81ms

if you want to find out about what they are talking.. I suggest putting up your MP3 (if you have one) on record mode (make sure it can record long, and somewhere she can;t find it, but close to the phone..). you can trace everything back. in your case I would be supsicious as hell >_<

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-20 18:29 ID:Heaven

I'd suggest you ignore the advice of crazy stalkers (I'm look at you, >>9).

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-21 03:33 ID:Heaven

I think this person needs more help than OP.

12 Name: ND : 2007-07-21 04:03 ID:sHfSzSDx

You know, they might actually planning something behind your back..and you might just be thinking too much. Like my friend's gf calls me for hours on end, and he's been suspicious before, and then we had to reveal that we were planning on holding a surprise party and stuff.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-21 04:05 ID:MccrsBNK

OP here again.

Yes, he talks to her alone sometimes. I asked him today. He says sometimes they even talk for up to an hour.

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-21 21:40 ID:TDYWoZQk

>I'm just going to talk to her. This is an ISSUE that needs to be ADDRESSED.

There, you answered your own question! You didn't need our help after all.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-22 00:47 ID:kutgExpX

Try and keep a cool head in that discussion, or all is lost.

16 Name: FuFuFu : 2007-07-22 02:44 ID:6ENzSU+z


You're overreacting. Besides, an hour each day on the phone isn't very much. Just because she chooses to converse with someone on a regular basis you're going to break up?

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17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-22 03:13 ID:EFj7h04Z

OP here and gah, you're probably right. I talked to her about it the other day and she didn't see how it was a big deal, but if it bothered me she wouldn't talk with him anymore. You know what, maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship yet. So I'm just going to call her in a few and tell her that I don't care and that I was probably out of line. So yeah, this isn't the first problem where it seems like I'm the one that's the cause of it, so I just don't care anymore. Really. About her, about us, just fuck it.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-22 07:33 ID:TDYWoZQk

Now you're overreacting again! Calm down a bit. First of all, I disagree with >>16. Hours on the phone talking with another man - instead of talking to you - is a bad sign, especially considering that your girlfriend said she didn't feel like including you in their threesome talks. If she spends more time with him than you, you are justified in being bothered.

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-22 09:39 ID:BF6Y5dKX

I agree. You are overreactiong a bit too much about everything right now.
You did have the right to know why she was talking with him for so many hours. Any man would get jealous over it.

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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-22 10:03 ID:RoROv4Km


Well, we did help in a way as we might've unlocked his rage by saying it wasn't normal.

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21 Name: ND : 2007-07-22 23:51 ID:sHfSzSDx

Demanding that she cut off all contact with your friend is a bit over the top. OP, be reasonable...I agree with >>20. Saying that there are strict rules you have made that she must follow or be smited by whatever higher force you hold holy is overwhelming. ('o') be careful not to scare her to death or whatnot. At any rate, I think that >>16 was probably pissed that you were all "Gahh!" and stuff in >>13 but I kinda think it's good that you got to vent.

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-23 01:05 ID:n0ddSnui

OP here again, and I may have sounded a bit hot headed during my posts, but I didn't demand that she stopped talking to anyone. The conversation a few days ago went like this, for the most part.

I first asked her why she was talking to this guy so much. I didn't yell or shout or anything during the whole conversation. She said that he was her friend and that she calls her friends every day. I said yeah, I shouldn't have a problem with that, but it still bothered me that she was talking to this guy so much, sometimes even more than she talked to me. I didn't make any demands. Something was bothering me so instead of not saying anything about it, I came to her directly about it.

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23 Name: : 2007-07-23 04:37 ID:TDYWoZQk

It sounds like you handled it well, even if you did come across as slightly passive-aggressive. But I think this is not resolved. What exactly is making you feel crappy? If you can figure this out, maybe we can give you more advice.