Wow, yeah, you know if I had only realized you were this dark hearted emo-dude wanting to die, my answer would have been very different....
So here's a new outline for you: FUCK EMO BULLSHIT
To a certain degree I can definately understand your girlfriends cousin now, even if his approach suck cocks.
You need to stop wanting to die because of your past, whatever happened there, it's gone now. And you need to start wanting to live for your girlfriend. And that change is going to transform you, inside out. Don't let the past define who you are, live today for the future.
If you don't, you've totally lost my backing.