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girls having guy friends. (22)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 14:37 ID:DYVvAovk

this topic is aimed towards boyfriends. what do you think about your girlfriend having guy friends? this is an issue that will come up in nearly every relationship at some point.

i know as a guy, we would prefer to have our girl not having any guy friends at all, but we know that's not possible but secretly we wish it was so. that's because as a guy we know how we are. guys only hang around women because they want something, which most of the time, is either a relationship or they want to fuck her. the moment you and your girl have an argument or a disagreement, she's either going to go to him for comfort/and or he will try to take advantage of that and one thing will lead to another and bam. you're screwed. that's not how it is all the time, but that's how it is most of the time.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 15:01 ID:t7k1PnLv

Honestly, it doesn't bother me one bit. I wouldn't mind my girlfriend hanging out with some guy friends. If she were going to his house everyday it would get kind of intresting. I'd like to test how trustable she is. But I'd never deliberately set something like that up.

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 16:18 ID:flaEXiPq

It would bother me, but I probably wouldn't say anything about it unless it was them spending loads of time alone constantly.

I don't really agree that sitting on a couch watching a movie is going to lead to anything. Well ok I suppose i can see the girl cuddling up to the guy, but they're not going to start having hardcore super sex. I think the problem is that I (and other guys) view girls as being a sort of helpless being and that if she's with another guy and he starts flirting that she is going to just forget about her relationship and suck him off. In reality, if she cares for the relationship she won't do anything like that - no matter how tempted. The exception is, of course, when alcohol is involved. But even then, the girl should have enough sense to know she shouldn't get so wasted she'll do something stupid.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 16:44 ID:VzPt6PAI


the OP here and you're right about me viewing girls as some helpless being. i never thought about it that way. if the relationship really did mean something to them they would resist temptation. but i'm saying why even put yourself in that situation? i don't mind them hanging out with guys in group but why alone? that just make things ackward.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 17:51 ID:t7k1PnLv

Number 2 here.

I don't see why people care about stuff like this, I see it as a win-win situation, it's a chance to find out what a person is really made of.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 18:06 ID:flaEXiPq

>>3 here

But then there's the fear that something could happen and she doesn't say anything about it. I understand what you're saying about it being a test but I can't turn off my jealously (Or whatever it is) that makes me suspicious that something could happen. It doesn't affect me so much that I have to say to her "Look, can you not spend so much time alone with X" but it's more of a niggling doubt in the back of my mind. It could just be that I've not yet found a girl I trust 110%.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 18:20 ID:7uG6Y0Tx

It's not a good test if you can't confirm if it's true. Sure you can believe your girlfriend, but only girlfriends that are idiots or want to break up would ever admit it.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 19:34 ID:t7k1PnLv

Number 2 again.

While it's true that it cannot be confirmed, but eventually it will come out. Take the saying "Love is blind, but the neighbours aren't." for example.

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 20:06 ID:j2hyAZnG

Ok, so, I had a relationship with another guy for 5 months. Yes, I'm a guy. I started crushing on him, and we were best friends, and then I asked him out and we started dating. It was both our first time dating another guy. Usually I date girls, I'm bi. So whatever.

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-02 12:58 ID:Heaven


11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-02 13:01 ID:d0Y4fzIg

i don't care about my girl having guy friends. the more and more varied friends she has, the better, in my mind at least. less work for me. but i guess i'm not like a lot of people here... compared to the rest of the world, i have low self-esteem, but to you guys i must be a confident motherfucker. if my girl cheats on me due to hanging out with other guys, so be it- she's weak, and she'll be replaced. life goes on.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-03 18:54 ID:e8ECZhPh

My girlfriend got a male friend too, and our relationship is slowly breaking cause of it.
He loves her and is trying to make us break with each other. They are phoning quite often and are talking for hours. He's always telling her that he loves her, thats what i know for sure. So they are like flirting everytime i guess. Also he is allways telling her shit about me and laughing me out, telling her what asshole i am and how much better they would fit to each other. I told her many times that this whole thing fucking disturbs me, but it seems that she dont give a shit about it. She says that i shouldnt worry about it and that nothing will happen between them, and i shouldnt be jealous. I was trying to ignore it, but its happening again and again. Today we had a huge argument again, and we are about to break, just cause of that tard. Well, thats what he always wanted, making us break, and i think he almost reached his goal. Wtf am i supposed to do? She can't even understand how i feel and what my problem is. But i think every other guy would feel same in my case. How would you act?

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-03 21:39 ID:X9facF31


She's too stupid to be with you. You deserve someone else much better. Threaten her that this must stop or you will leave her, and she would prove herself if she's good enough for you. If not, then good riddance.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-03 22:00 ID:7uG6Y0Tx

Sucks. According to the ladder theory, He, the male friend, should be on the friend ladder. And you'd have nothing to worry.

But he's been disrespecting you all this way, which may mean he's in serious competition.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-03 23:01 ID:RI5MVFrZ

You may not know that but the guy could become a problem, leave her ASAP. They are alot of fish in sea.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-04 06:57 ID:NbtUzXM4


Not only is this guy disrespecting you, so is your girl. It doesn't matter if nothing is happening between them or ever even could; she sounds like a bitch for going along with it.

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17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-04 12:38 ID:gKaxUWMf

Just wondering...

Is the fact that you can't trust your girlfriend?
Or that you can't trust other guys?

18 Name: 12 : 2007-10-04 17:51 ID:XHul0aVv

We are together for 1 year now, i love her, and i know that she loves me too. I just cant understand why is she acting like that.
I will talk with her for one last time about it. If nothing will happen i'll break with her. Kinda sad that its all ending like that...

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-04 19:16 ID:m10vq4Km

>>17 this links back to what I said in >>3 re: seeing girls as the helpless party in the affair.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-04 20:18 ID:7uG6Y0Tx

Well, it could help your decision if you answer this:
Does she defend you when that friend of her's talks about you badly?

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-04 23:11 ID:87cXH4Sl

Sounds like your gf is keeping her options open.
Dump her.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-04 23:17 ID:xhlHtF1X

12, honestly, you need to tell her. It's either him or you. Like >>16 said, not only is the guy disrespecting you, so is the girl. I've been through something similar to this and in my case, I made it clear to her that this wasn't acceptable. This is where you need to man up. You have another guy calling your girl, dissing you, telling her that he loves her, and to top it all off your girl is going along with it. My case wasn't as extreme as this, but if it was, I would have told her to fuck off because from what you've told me, it's bothering you and she doesn't give a shit.

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