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He puts the "pathetic" in "apathetic". (20)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 09:07 ID:zwoQtwLj

Tonight, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend at 8:00pm. Nothing kinky, unfortunately. He was just depressed. For no reason.

Yet another beautiful evening wasted because he wanted to curl up in a ball.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 10:57 ID:ph0vAbeE


3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 11:29 ID:3mR4eAt9

Break up with him? It'll either motivate to get off of his ass to try and win you back, or motivate to possibly kill himself or sink deeper into a ball of depression where he doesn't even want to use his computer.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 11:38 ID:9fWxIVBy

Slip some happy drugs into his drink one night and seduce him while he's too high to be depressed.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 14:07 ID:plPd+wVA

You can't help him. Please, don't even try. You're just going to get even more frustrated, and end up depressed, yourself. When a guy gets like that, the best thing you can do, for yourself and for him, is to distance yourself. When he's feeling better, he'll come and pull you back.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 14:16 ID:NwFXyqnV

You could try to involve him in exercising together. I know when I'm in a bout of depression regular exercise helps no end (Also boosts sex drive) You could do something like go to martial arts classes etc etc. Also, things like eating good food rather than junk helps. Doesn't have to be anything fancy, grilled chicken, plenty of fresh veg etc

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 15:57 ID:WF85Kuzv

Explain him that you will not accept that things continue like this. Be very clear on that. Either he accepts to do stuff with you, or the relationship has no meaning.

You can start by suggesting things to do. He can only refuse a suggestion if he can himself suggest something to do outside of your place. If he has no ideas, he has to come along.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 17:01 ID:cBzL2RZ0

Perhaps he doesn't get enough vitamins? I don't eat much fruit and vegetables due to allergy and oversensitivity, and I often feel tired/apathetic when I haven't taken vitamin supplements for a long time.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 18:45 ID:g+Lfg1IX

>>1 The sun doesn't set until just before 9 tonight

where do you live?

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-20 21:14 ID:0lcU5scV

you're right. the depression IS too comfortable for him. Make it uncomfortable. break up with him is the best option so you don't get dragged down with him. Or you can stop feeding him so he's more motivated to get a job and be able to get his own food. a job would probably help him get out there and do stuff that might kick him out of the depression.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-21 02:40 ID:plPd+wVA

I agree with >>10 . Force him to get off of his ass, and maybe he'll stop feeling so worthless.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-21 04:23 ID:7mYCxfpD

>>9 you must be crazy, the sun sets at 5 here

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-21 06:40 ID:NVOJR4ku


14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-22 00:05 ID:tsKOjFTY

> my boyfriend
> I've gotta get him moving, and get his mental health up.

I admire your compassion, but that's not your responsibility. It's officially his doctor/therapist/counselor's job, but in reality the burden is unfortunately on him to get better. The collapse of the survival instinct is what makes depression so emotionally crippling.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-22 00:42 ID:r0Hr2BJF

Totally do not break up with him because I feel it's a 90% risk that it'll end up permanent.

>>6 has a good point. Excersise. Activity. DOING something. Stuff like that should really help.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-22 01:26 ID:wwCHwcbJ

why is it all the losers get GFs

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-22 02:14 ID:EFEpUiKY

Girls are attracted to that, silly.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-22 19:58 ID:vcW5CvzR

>>17 - we aren't. Trust me on this.

But I've just been in the same kind of situation. I think you really need to have a long talk to him about all this, even if you end up yelling. Hey, it may help to get the message across.

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-23 12:42 ID:FW7W7LOM

You don't have to compete, he probably feels depressed because you are experiencing a full life, a job, a social life that he probably doesn't have (since you say he spends all the day at home etc.) and he's feeling inferior in some or other way.

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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-01 01:19 ID:X6FkKfWI

If it's bugging you that much and you're just going to get angry, then break up.

But rather than that, I advise you try and find out what the matter is? I was in a similar predicament once, he was manic depressive. Now we just curl up together.

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