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I'm too dependent on Her (11)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-19 15:00 ID:pRpdOpTk

Help. I hate to admit this but I think I've become too dependent on my girlfriend and she's become the center of my universe. This would not be as bad if she saw me the same way but I doubt it.

Whenever my friends wanna make plans with me, the first thing I'd think of (unless it was something really important, like a birthday) would be whether I could be spending time with my girl friend instead. I bend over backwards to accomodate to HER schedule (her family trips, outings with her girlfriends) but the thing is I don't mind.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-19 15:28 ID:srck3HMI

This problems concerns you, not her,...

She should not empty her life for you, it's rather you who should fill your own life and become more autonomous. Otherwise you may even start to become a turn-off for your girlfriend.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-19 20:16 ID:ETIWKgr+

Yes, as >>2 said, you need to change yourself. The only other option is to find a different girl who is just as clingy and dependent on you, but that will be difficult. It's hard to balance these things. You will be much better off (and a healthier person) if you take >>2's advice.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-19 20:36 ID:U1hdhjqX

first girlfriend?

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-20 00:33 ID:Q/9KLXHM

>>4

probably, OP sounds like me when I had my first gf

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-20 01:06 ID:un8UrPf+

>>2 is bang on the money here. I was like that with my second gf, I enjoyed spending a lot more of my time with her than with my friends, so I ended up pushing my friends away. So then at the end of it all when we split, I was left with no-one, and one of those said friends ended up going out with her a couple of months later.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-20 04:50 ID:kQYSx294

yeap she's my first gf. you guys are good...haha...i'm her first boyfriend too though...

i keep telling myself i gotta start being more of a man and less of a wimp cos that's what attracted her to me in the first place.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-20 12:58 ID:rcFrU9wN

>>7 be smart. remember yourself that she isn't going to last forever. MAKE time for your friends. if you treat them like crap while you have a girlfriend, when she dumps your ass they might wanna make it pay-back time.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-20 12:59 ID:+6nk16nc

okay latest situation.

a couple of weeks back, she told me she was free on a certain day next week. and asked if i was free...i told her i could leave work at lunch time cos it was a half day.

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-20 13:03 ID:+6nk16nc

>>8

yeah actually its not that i don't wnana hang out with my friends. i've got a couple of cliques i hang out with and the girls are busy in university while the guys are doing our compulsory service in the army and we've all got different off days. so its difficult to hang out. so its not that i'm going to the extent of neglecting my friends. its just that i instinctively put my girlfriend first in almost everything i do.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-20 14:01 ID:z7Q9O0sE

that doesn't sound cool...

but i think you wouldn't want her to be out with you but be possibly resenting missing out on her girl pals' night out right?