Sorry for tl;dr.
My boyfriend and I have had a very rocky, one yearish relationship, lots of fights and just unhealthy behavior. A few days ago we had a long discussion about how to make things better, realized we don't want to break up or anything, we just want to work hard to fix things by being more communicative and doing certain things(taking a short break if we're going to fight, not name calling, etc.). Since that day, he has been calling me names still and today he did not let me take a break when I felt we were going to fight.
Your attitude seems pretty reasonable, although of course we are only hearing your side of the story. Which does not mean that I don't believe you,...
I guess there are several problems wrapped in one big knot: you and your boyfriend don't seem to be able to keep a rational discution under stress because both of you get too emotive, and resort to agressiveness and mutual attacks. I think you are right that the best approach when this happens is to step down, and stop speaking until both are relaxe, AND THEN resume talking about it, instead of pushing the issue under the rug.