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my boyfriend rapes me (59)


1 Name: pathetic : 2008-01-05 18:59 ID:ehUZ9yY9

obviously I already know whats going on and its wrong and i should get help yadda yadda yadda.
but im learning more and more about it happening to other girls. so i want to know... is it really all that uncommon?

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-05 19:10 ID:KyUtG9fc

You're pretty screwed up. Why would you continue dating someone who "rapes" you? If you stay with him I can only imagine that either you don't REALLY mind what he does to you, or you're absolutely fucking nuts.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-05 19:12 ID:ehUZ9yY9

A) you cant blame someone for something like that when theres even the chance its your fault too
B) its not full rape anyway
C)theres this little thing called love

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-05 19:43 ID:KyUtG9fc

>>3

A) If it upset you in the way that rape is really upsetting to the women I know who have actually been raped, you wouldn't be in a long term relationship with this dude. It's not rape just because you have ambiguous feelings about it. It's rape if you really don't want it, and he does it against your wishes. What you describe is teen-angsty cock tease shit.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-05 21:46 ID:NwZ6YpIu

>>1

Actually, I think it's a waste of time discussing whether it fits perfectly rape's definition. What really matters is that he's having sex with you even when you don't feel like it, and this is VERY bad,... It should never happen, and should never be tolerated. But of course you know that, since you say it yourself, so that's also not the issue.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-05 21:57 ID:KyUtG9fc

>5

Is a pussy full of psycho babble femtard talk. You're not being raped, you're just being stupid. You enjoy the sexual tension created by these "halfway there" encounters, and you know it. It's like getting the intimacy you want without the commitments you're afraid of. You're a bad girlfriend, and your boyfriend is probably getting head from some other chick because of it. If he's not already, he soon will be.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-05 22:05 ID:9rAu7zRj

>>1
It's something quite common for girls who prefer semi-cavemen over intelligent persons.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-05 22:17 ID:ORmu1EVL

>wheras i just say no, or even nothing

Are you really saying no? Or are you saying "teehee, no silly!". Be clear. As for saying nothing, that is a bad thing to do. If you really do feel he is violating you (rape doesn't have to be full sex) then you should get out of there.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-05 22:27 ID:sZzK8ZzT

first, what youre describing is not rape. but if its unwanted molestation we're talking about, you just need to learn to say no, or else its more your fault than his. if you cant learn to say no, you need to ask for help, and not on an internet forum.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-05 23:55 ID:Heaven

> wheras i just say no, or even nothing

saying 'even nothing' is not close to being the equivalent 'No.'

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 00:09 ID:xRgIPOPl

>>1
this is not rape. Don't even use the word unless you really did. Real rape is what happend to my gf.
stop being such a fucking pussy and just tell him if he does it again you'll chop his dick off

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 01:16 ID:ehUZ9yY9

ive said no. ive said really no and its still happened.

and LIKE I SAID this isnt what i want to talk about.
i want to know is this sort of abuse really that uncommon.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 02:41 ID:KyUtG9fc

>>12

how often WHAT occurs? Confused stupid little girls crying about situations they claim not to desire but encourage anyway? All the fucking time, sweetheart. I'm on to you.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 02:43 ID:NJd2C2PX

1 and a half and he can't even touch?
Holy crap. He might as well not be so wrong, ya know.
It would be weird if he DIDN'T touch you.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 02:56 ID:Ne6NbHL+

>>12
I bet it occurs pretty often, in many relationships, where one part has some problem with sexual relation or their actual partner, while the partner in turn has a high need of sexual stimulation and low self-control.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 05:40 ID:gbn+I6IV

>>1
I hate you with a passion you cocktease whore

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 09:49 ID:YRDjjNEc

>>1
You have not been raped. This happens all the time, probably. Either put out or pack up.

Oh and if you're Asian, I hear "no" means "yes," anyway. :p

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 15:46 ID:qCI9asgG

I agree with >>16, but I'll try to help anyway...

Have you tried talking with him about this outside of a sexual/'rape' situation? And I mean seriously talk - about your feelings on sex, why he does it, etcetera.

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 22:12 ID:v12KCEwQ

>>10
Legally, anything that is not an explicit "yes" is the same as a "no".

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-07 00:59 ID:gbn+I6IV

>>1
Don't you fucking dare tell anyone with a badge about this. You are scum, do you hear me? People with your warped sense of relationship and sexuality have ruined more men's lives than anything else. Quit being a self-pitying bitch and suck it up, he likes you, and you should fucking reciprocate it in the appropriate way.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-07 05:41 ID:Heaven

>>19
Legally, it's just he-said-she-said without a witness.
Rationally, it's bullshit.
Ethically, an explicit yes could still be rape.

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-07 06:41 ID:KyUtG9fc

>>21

>Ethically, an explicit yes could still be rape.
>Practically, people should have to sign sexual consent contacts with a lawyer present.
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23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-07 10:08 ID:Heaven

Sorry OP but I agree with everybody else. Quit being a dumb whore. You want it, you're acting like a cockteasing slut, and you're getting exactly what you deserve. If you report him I hope your bitch ass really gets raped and you can see what the real thing is.

24 Name: alot of rapists here : 2008-01-08 00:55 ID:7mnFt0+u

OP I'm sorry about what happened to you. If you feel like your bf has disrespected you or violated you in any way then you need to leave this faggot bitch immediately.

If you said no then he should've respected that and stopped.

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25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 01:38 ID:a3cctoEP

>>24
You're kinda hard, there.

Although I won't say there are none here (but again, I couldn't say that anywhere), I sincerely doubt there are "alot" of rapists here.

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26 Name: Been there : 2008-01-08 02:07 ID:4egMkSu2

>>24
I had a girlfriend when I was younger that was like that. Except I actually did stop when she said no. It was strange because other nights she would be crazy and it was like a completely different person when it came to sex.
>>1 I think it is not considered rape unless he also considers it that. I mean he is not doing intentionally to hurt you or is he?

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 03:07 ID:Heaven

>>24

>It's not really the best site to post this kind of problem since it's full of like perverts,rapists,pedos and other such scum.
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28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 03:54 ID:HHbwIiE/

did he punch you or anything? i think its scary.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 04:34 ID:Heaven

I can't deal with 15 year olds. 16 and up for me, yup. Better to keep it legal (to people living in places where 16 isn't legal, HAHA to you.)

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 05:23 ID:Z4vj1bHi

Hmm...
This is an interesting topic for me.
I am a 25 year old man, and have had my share of sexual relationships with women.
Is an explicit "yes" always necessary? I think that's impractical for obvious reasons.

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31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 05:28 ID:oOCqGXSV

>>1

quit toying with your boyfriend's emotions. you make me sick. I hope you find out what real rape is like.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 06:19 ID:ggxmYgX5

>>1

> i dont shout or fight or anything
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33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 06:26 ID:Z4vj1bHi

>>32
This one's right. You have a responsibility to delineate IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS what you want done with your body and when you want it done (or not done). Communication is the key. If he doesn't listen, drop him.

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 06:29 ID:KyUtG9fc

My university had a strange policy. If a woman had even had one drink of alcohol, didn't even have to finish the whole thing, then she was unable to provide legal consent. However, no matter how many drinks of alcohol a man had he was judged to be fully responsible and in control of his actions.

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35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 18:49 ID:B7PY6T3i

> gynofascism

This is my new favourite word.

36 Name: pathetic : 2008-01-08 19:42 ID:ehUZ9yY9

Really, I wish I'd never talk to you people.
Some of you get that rapists do say sorry, some of you understand that as much as things hurt its easier just to ignore it when its done by someone you love.

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37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 21:09 ID:Heaven

>>36
You can go back to your feminist friends and discuss "almost rape" all you want, but at the end of the day you're just a spineless coward with a pushy boyfriend.

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38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 22:44 ID:gbn+I6IV

The votes are in, its a tie between slut, coward, and hypocrite. Take whatever you want from that, but I think its worth taking note of.

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 23:13 ID:4ZY0uerK

>>34

>My university had a strange policy. If a woman had even had one drink of alcohol, didn't even have to finish the whole thing, then she was unable to provide legal consent. However, no matter how many drinks of alcohol a man had he was judged to be fully responsible and in control of his actions.
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40 Name: Hitler : 2008-01-08 23:16 ID:NgbqEoh5

Bah. Most sexual abuse type stuff occurs with people you already have a connection with. Not strangers hiding in boxes. It can be confusing when the perputrator attempts to camouflage abuse by saying it was an act of 'love', or that they were just messing around and that you really wanted it blabla to try and get away with it.

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41 Name: A man : 2008-01-09 00:51 ID:FIJP8n6O

tl;dr: Break up with him immediately. If you refuse to do that, you deserve everything that happens to you.

I've learned from listening to Dr. Drew in the evenings that people with abuse in their past have "freeze reactions". This is why you get stories like "he raped me at a party in front of everyone", where one word from her and everyone at the party would be prying this guy off of her. If you ask the guy, he thinks she consented because she didn't object.

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42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-09 02:42 ID:KyUtG9fc

>>39

True, but universities have the power to censure students in various ways, like expulsion for instance. You can be thrown out of the dorm and the school long before you're vindicated in the court. Sort of like what the lacrosse players went through at whatever fucking university that was last year.

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-09 06:45 ID:KFnychY/

>>36
Sorry to hear you say that. But I will reiterate that ultimately you are responsible to see to it that he stops, and do everything in your power to make sure it happens. And if he goes too far, and you have done what you can to protect yourself, then he is undeniably at fault and needs to be prosecuted.

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44 Name: pathetic : 2008-01-10 23:06 ID:ehUZ9yY9

Agreed with a lot of that.
I'm shutting up now, though.

Bye~

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-11 06:27 ID:Heaven

I think this wasn't actually a female who got "raped," but rather someone doing research, either a student or a professional of some sort.

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-11 08:06 ID:KyUtG9fc

>>45

Field research on the "Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory"?

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-11 11:07 ID:kvzaG2uY

If we were to agree with anything in this bullshit thread, we first need to know more about the circumstances and the people involved.

If any of this is supposed to tell anyone that the girl is the victim and the guy is an asshole, and that there is justification for the girl to take distance and the guy to back off, we also need to know more about why this is happening.

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48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-11 19:13 ID:Heaven

> Giving anything apart from very ambiguous advice and remarks at this point

I don't think that's a reasonable expectation considering the nature of discussion on an pseudo-anonymous public message board.

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49 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-11 22:50 ID:KyUtG9fc

Rape is just an aggressive expression of unrequited love.

50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-12 00:46 ID:YK4OGbF0

This topic gave me an erection.

51 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-12 12:56 ID:Heaven

Topics about mere semi-consented molestation never bone me up.

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-15 11:31 ID:Sj8XEz4x

tl;dr u liek it but you just dont know it yet

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-16 01:15 ID:KyUtG9fc

>>53

No, she knows she likes it, but would probably never admit to anyone, as she also enjoys her "pity poor me" act too much.

54 Name: Rapist : 2008-01-16 14:14 ID:t5HAIQgU

I rape for fun. My next victim will be filmed and put on youtube!

55 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-16 14:44 ID:Heaven

Please don't forget to link us.

56 Name: Rapist : 2008-01-16 15:49 ID:v2eb5FvL

Sure thing. Will go to 4chan and 4-ch.

57 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-16 17:15 ID:Heaven

>>54>>56
sage, please die. Also troll.

58 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-16 18:52 ID:v2eb5FvL

>>57

Tell me where you live and I will rape you.

59 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-16 23:21 ID:Heaven

>>58
Sageland