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my boyfriend rapes me (59)


30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 05:23 ID:Z4vj1bHi

Hmm...
This is an interesting topic for me.
I am a 25 year old man, and have had my share of sexual relationships with women.
Is an explicit "yes" always necessary? I think that's impractical for obvious reasons.
One girlfriend I used to date (we were dating for a year total), would frequently initiate sexual intercourse with me despite protests, when I was too tired/drunk/meek(?) to really resist. Is this rape? If so I have been raped by my girlfriend. It's a side rarely heard from.
Another woman some time later I had what basically amounted to a one-night stand with. I initiated, kind of strongly I admit, but with no force or coercion. Afterwards she was telling me basically how awesome it was and whatnot, even days later singing the praises to me, calling me "sexy" and stuff. I call our "relationship" (that never really was) off soon after and run into her a year later, actually at the same bar that we met at the first time. This time she tells me that she "couldn't remember" what happened but she feels like "maybe" I "raped" her, when I asked about it. Her excuse of being "too drunk" doesn't hold when you consider that she is no lightweight in the booze department, had maybe three or four beers and nothing else after work, and I had drank MUCH more that night. If anybody was too drunk it was me.
I know I did not rape her. She knows I did not rape her.
There is something more complicated going on here, with sexuality and relationships and all those things.
Sometimes we are too quick to assume a woman is a victim, and the man a perpetrator, simply due to physiology.
Of course, I would never want someone to be forced/coerced into doing something uncomfortable or undesirable.
Still, her telling me that shook me up a lot. But I know I'm not that sort of a monster.
I would like to hear some input from women on this, if they really do exist here on the internets... Any two cents?