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Disabled Lover (7)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 18:56 ID:zAxiomEB

My fiance injured his back recently and has moved in with my family and I. I have been playing nurse to him, which I don't mind. That is what you do, you know? When your lover sick or hurt you take care of them.

The problem is his emotional state, he can't move at all as he has torn a ligament in his back. He is quite disabled and this injury also injures his future plans. He was supposed to go to boot camp next week, but now we are not sure if he will be able to go at all anymore. He might just have to wait longer, but as he lays in bed he becomes more fussy. I worry that he could fall into a depression because of this. He is very negative and I have never seen him like this before. I do what I can to try and keep his spirits up but he just tunes it out. He also knows that I am going to do whatever he needs me to do, so he is starting to get very spoiled and there is an ungratefulness that is starting to show.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 19:51 ID:jffb5B6d

  1. A new bed.
  2. Talk to him and explain that the situation isn't just difficult for him.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 21:21 ID:liXSii1z

If I were him, I'd want to get back my independence.
I'd want to get up and do things on my own, but the inability to do so would be frustrating.
I'd want my de facto nurse to make me take on as much responsibility for myself as possible. This would naturally make it easier on her, too.
I'd also hope that there aren't a lethal amount of painkillers next to my bed so I don't try and end the indignity.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-08 22:50 ID:+f9HKkNV

I'm guessing there's a high chance he is going to be paralized for the rest of his life. I'm very sorry.
There's only one thing you can do - rest, relax, and reassure him. as >>3 said I would be very frustrated that I would have to rely on my fiance for everything if I was in that situation, as my career and whole life would be upside down instantly. (Men need independence) Emotional shock is nearly impossible to overcome, but at least you can try your best.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-09 00:01 ID:kB5wE1DV

>>4

Paralysed for the rest of his life because of a torn ligament? In your dreams, perhaps,...

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-09 00:06 ID:OTZz662K

He's lucky it's not permanent and very lucky to have someone like you caring for him.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 15:46 ID:8HuAIyz0

if he starts getting "accustomed" to this bedlife, you'll have to slowly make it "uncomfortable." by that, i mean, make it so that he wants to leave the bed rather than be waited on.

also, as to your current predicament, try to use those sweets and other nice things more like treats (is that the right word) rather than the norm, otherwise, why wouldn't he get accustomed to them. if he complains, say you've been busy, or your wrist hurts or something, or you are getting worn out.