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Girls with kids (16)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-21 00:14 ID:IcO1JL4C

Copypastin this onto this board as I posted in wrong place, sorry i'm new...
Ok, so recently I met a girl, she is a really pretty thai girl. We kind hit it off, things got fairly hot, etc. I then found out she is married (but getting a divorce) and has a kid. We are both 20 so for me the kid thing is a bit scary, kid is like a year and a half so she had him at like 18!

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-21 02:16 ID:S4+f19g8

Haven't been there myself, but I'm interested, so... bump

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-21 04:48 ID:KAuqvgjF

My advice: don't try to be the kids "daddy" unless you marry her. Believe me, being friendly with a chick's dog is a good way to "get in" with her, but using the kid this way is all kinds of trouble. Even if you don't mean for it to happen, a kid can get really hurt and confused by people who are there for a while and then just stop coming by when they break up with their mother. The kid will likely be angry and depressed over the stress between its parents anyway, so adding your shit into the mix is more likely to confuse it more than anything, regardless how good your intentions are.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-21 15:00 ID:IcO1JL4C

OP here: I agree totally with >>3. I hadn't really though about the whole "using" the kid to look good thing, but yeah I guess that is what I did in some ways, I mean I do like kids and I get really into playing with them, but yeah at the back of my mind I was thinking "this makes me look good."
The "white knight" thing is totally not me, i'm to scrawny to stand up to anyone, so I could not do the "tough man" thing even if I wanted to.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-24 21:21 ID:1HyuvZhC

To OP regarding >>4 :

>which I guess does not bode well for a future relationship...
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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-25 13:41 ID:Db+8jnQV

OP here, to >>5: agreed, me and her had a chat yesterday, she has been kinda avoiding me, turns out she felt bad about "leading me on" or whatever, apparently someone asked her if we were going out and she freaked out. So I explained that I get how complicated it is and that no matter what happens I would never assume we even could go out given the current situation. I think she was pleased, looks like we are gonna meet up again this weekend.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-25 13:50 ID:bhzaoayM

Huh. Good luck with that. Being in this situation I know how hard it is.

8 Post deleted.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-25 16:55 ID:Db+8jnQV

OP Here: >>8 Nice one man, real mature...

>>7 In the same situation? As in a girl with a kids or having to "just be friends"?

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-25 17:20 ID:bhzaoayM

The latter.

11 Post deleted.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-25 19:54 ID:IcO1JL4C

OP Here: >>11 was not me, ffs, grow up!

>>10 yeah its a problem, but its kinda fun, and I really care about her so I will totally respect her wishes. The whole will she / won't she excitement is better than the no female interest at all path my life has been taking the last couple of years.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-25 20:09 ID:Heaven

Haha, that's exactly what I'm telling myself too.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-25 20:29 ID:Heaven

Haha. Yeah, well it will be ok for a while at least, until it drives me totally mental.
Good to see flametrolls posts have been deleted, hats off to the mods.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-26 00:07 ID:1HyuvZhC

>>12 My friend calls this "interesting trouble." And I agree, the excitement is way better than nothing.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-26 11:23 ID:IcO1JL4C

>>15 "Interesting trouble", I like that. Only problem is even the most interesting things become boring after a while, but then again I suppose worse case scenario is a good (and frustrating) friendship with a pretty girl, so I guess I can't complain.