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Should I get involved with this one??!? Help! (12)

1 Name: NoStranger : 2008-01-31 10:53 ID:1qQeyjru

Ok, to make a long story short, a girl contacted me on a personals site I'd been on for awhile, and said I sounded like her type... She said she was into Anime, and gaming as well, which is cool, because that's pretty much my two main interests...

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-31 13:25 ID:32Hn3laH

Well,... A good point for her is that she seems to be quite open about things, most people hide their problems, or wing them. This type of sincerity is valuable.

She seems to have been quite whacky when she was younger, but the good point about that is that she got some experience out of that, which could be useful for the future (other people repress their urges and explode at 27-30).

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3 Name: NoStranger : 2008-01-31 13:52 ID:LvXsoKlS

OP here
Texting to my sister just now revealed that my sister is indeed familiar with this girl...

I didn't tell my sister much more than I was curious about her, and my sister said she was "Very sweet, very simple & quiet"

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-01 00:40 ID:vTgiDN9h

I don't know about you but I probably would, she sounds like a cool girl.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-01 01:31 ID:jQYNgcTE

As long as you go along a traditional dating pattern, I don't think there would be much of a problem. I think every girl should be given a fair shot until they show too many "red flags" If she's talking about marriage on the 5th date, RED FLAG. If she starts talking about her ex-husbands often, RED FLAG. If she's calling, texting, IMing, bombarding you with attention every waking hour, RED FLAG.

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6 Name: NoStranger : 2008-02-01 14:39 ID:LvXsoKlS

OP Here
>>5, I think I agree;

I talked with my sister, and she had a good point, that "anyone can be made to sound bad, or sound good, depending on what you want to make of them", and I realized I was overanalyzing this girl, perhaps...

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-01 17:32 ID:32Hn3laH


Well,... Aside from answering favorably to points 1. and 2. in case you are inclined to, I think you have to accept that phone calls are pretty much an unavoidable step in a relationship that starts in this way. It would probably be a very bad idea to flatly reject phone calls, unless you are not interested in her.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-02 15:05 ID:WSVIN/g4

The problem that you listed of a girl becoming interested in you over the phone but not when you meet up can happen with internet conversations as well. I would say you need to make some kind of phone communication to take this to the next level, otherwise she may get bored with you. I agree with >>7 in that you should explain to her why you don't want to rely so much on the telephone. Try to limit yourself to say 30minutes at a time, that'll keep her wanting to come back for more. Also, how long is she in her casts for?

9 Name: NoStranger : 2008-02-02 15:31 ID:4tkqhfj4

OP Here;

Good point, I do agree, talking to her is the next level, and I don't want her bored with me... She's in casts for about 2-2 1/2 more weeks... I think I'll drop her a reply & surprise her by giving her my #... That's a good way of saying "I'm not a phone person, but I have no problems giving you my number, I think...)

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-03 14:39 ID:WSVIN/g4


Yeah that sounds alright to me. She might be nervous about being the first one to call though, so chances are she's going to give you her number as well and it will be a kind of stalemate situation. If she does call, then return the favour. Luckily she isn't in the casts for much longer, so you can get to chat on the phone a few times and then actually meet up in person.

11 Name: NoStranger : 2008-02-04 10:36 ID:wnH5YbpK

OP Here

I did indeed say that to her, and basically admitted it's not that I don't like being on the phone, it's just that I suck at long-phone conversations, to which she replied that that's ok anyway, and understandable, and besides, she can't seem to find her cell phone charger, but when she does find it, she'll start by texting me;

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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-04 10:41 ID:jufkFYqW

>first date as soon as she's on her feet regularly again,

"As soon as I'm back on my feet again"

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